How To Handle The Holiday Turkey!!


And, at the same time, truly, enjoy the time spent with your family!

Step 1: Go buy a turkey.
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or bourbon.
Step 3: Put the turkey in the oven.
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens.
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.
Step 7: Turn oven the on.
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky.
Step 9: Turk the bastey.
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get.
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer.
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey.
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey.
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick.
Step 17: Turk the carvey.
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch.
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out.


THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING, BUT AREN'T...

"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
"Talk about a huge breast!"
"It's Cool Whip time!"
"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"Are you going to come again next time?"
"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"
"Don't play with your meat."
"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."
"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"
"How many are coming?"
"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest."
"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"


DO NOT ADD MY ADDRESS TO ANY SPAM LISTS. I HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT EVER RESPOND. YOU WILL BE WASTING YOUR TIME AND MINE!


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