My Story

The reign of terror

Bill was raised in a military home. But he adds his own style to

the discipline, with daily beatings and mind games.

My children can't comprehend how it feels to live in fear.

To be on edge constantly. You know it's coming, but when?

To be under surveillance, held accountable for every action.

To be beat with whatever is handy. Belts, hangers, electrical cords, a whip.

My brother got the worst treatment. He was beaten with fists, and kicked

in the crotch. He was a male, supposed to be tougher.

As a result, my brother is sterile, and takes medication for

paranoid schizophrenia. He has tuned out of this hurtful world.

I remember waking up to my sister screaming. Her room

wasn't picked up good enough. So he started beating on her while she

slept. She woke up screaming. I was in fear, praying i wasn't next.

I remember being tied, face down, to my bed. I was  hit by the belt 100 times.

Of course he miscounted, to further my agony.

My mother would see and hear most of what was done to us. Not knowing

how to handle us, she turned a blind eye and a deaf ear. She even assisted

him, by telling where to hit, so bruises would not show. What

lies to tell at school, if we got a black eye.

Running away didn't help, they just brought us home.

Easter really gets to me. I have felt the pure fire, as the whip

hits your back, i was hit 4 times. To think that my Savior took

that pain, magnified 1000 times, breaks my heart. No one else

has loved me soo much. I love you my Abba Father.

God also sent His Son for you.

On my sister's 8th birthday, i was getting the whip again, after the party.

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8 hits this time, i paniced and ran. Cutting through yards, i stayed

off the main roads. When i got to a phone i called my grandparents.

I received condemnation along with my grandparents from my brother

and sister, because they were left there. My grandparents didn't even try, they

had me, the one that mattered to them. They let me listen to my mother

scream on the phone how much she hated all of us. I shut her out of my

heart for the next 10 years. I was introduced to my father.

We get along, but the father- daughter bond is not there.

Ever wonder why this happens to children? My understanding is on this page.

I have since made my Father God, my daddy here on earth, as well as heaven.

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