My Story

The rollercoaster

ride of life.

Living with my grandparents, i didn't worry about beatings.

but the mind control was brought on with a vengeance.

I was taken to church, joined the senior high group. There i met Jesus.

I finally had friends. I was not allowed to have friends over.

I lived for Sundays, and Wed. night. This was a prebyterian church.

It was very formal, quiet. But that didn't stop the Holy Spirit, the youth group

started getting baptised in the Holy Ghost. The adults became concerned.

They made a list of sanctuary rules, and basically quenched the Spirit.

Our youth leader stepped down, and our group began to splinter apart.

Left to stand alone, i fell away. I was going to college, and joined

the party crowd. I was looking for love, drinking, getting high. Nothing

made me happy for long. My grandparents threatened to kick

me out, "i was no better than my mother". So, i found a small apartment.

Partying took a toll on my job, soon i was unemployed.

Soon to lose my home, i started talking to recruiters. My grandparents said

the military would straighten me out, discipline me. So i signed up.

I was thrown from the pan into the fire, as alcohol was available on base.

No matter what age. It was party central, my lifestyle didn't change.

I still believed in God, but now i didn't feel worthy to be loved by Him.

That He wouldn't want me anymore. I had been too bad.

I was stationed in Oklahoma for 2 years. I met my husband there.

He didn't want to get married, but i was having a baby, and i kept after

him until he finally agreed. I had my son, Jimmy 7 mos. later.

My husband started staying out, sometimes not coming home.

He 'couldn't remember' where he had been. Then we got orders for Germany.

I hoped for a fresh start, but after 18 mos. of marraige, it was over.

I had temporary custody of my son, i wanted joint custody, but a couple

of his friends told him to go for sole custody. He was taking me to German

family court. I then decided to take my son back to the states, to my

grandparents. I had to return, i was miserable. My heart was torn in two.

It was then i met my second husband Roy. He was strong when i couldn't be.

My two year old was driving my grandparents crazy. They sent

petitions to my congressman and Nancy Reagan to let me out. I was discharged

1 week later. Roy got out soon after. We got an apartment.

We married in August, 1984. We decided to have a baby.

We moved from San Diego to Tenn. the summer of 85'

Ashley was born in December. I still didn't let God back in my life.

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