You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
He's buggin' your room
He's reading your mail
He's keeping a file
And runnin' a tail
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
He hears you in the bedroom
Surveys you out of doors
And if that doesn't get the goods
Then he'll use provocateurs.
So you mustn't assume
That you are secure
On Christmas Eve
He'll kick in your door
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.
(Supposedly written for and sung
at a U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Legal Counsel, Christmas party
during the Carter Administration.) --Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law