The programs on the channels are as follow:
 - Cookery program
- Cookery program  - X-Files
- X-Files  - Countdown (word 'quiz' show)
- Countdown (word 'quiz' show) Note : Anything in brackets is a comment and not on the channel. 
BBC 1 - Hello and welcome to 
CH 4 - Xenophobia. (Hatred of foreign people) 
BBC 2 - Scully we've found undeniable proof that 
ITV - Jon Bon Jovi 
BBC 1 - will cook quiche Loraine. 
ITV - Today the president of America was 
BBC 2 - an alien from the Alpha quadrant of the 
CH 4 - Ice age. 
Yes, that's six points 
BBC 1 - and a pint of milk. Next we add 
BBC 2 - Mulder. Don't 
BBC 1 - beat the eggs with a 
CH 4 - mountain. 
Sat - Roger, stick your 
BBC 1 - cakes 
Sat - in my 
ITV - Ford Fiesta. (A car, for non-English people who didn't know) 
BBC 2 - Mulder could you 
Sat - Roger 
BBC 1 - the mixture. 
ITV - It was discovered today that 
BBC 2 - Mulder 
BBC 1 - is desert. Also if you have any left over you can 
ITV - fly a plane to 
CH 4 - The Conundrum. 
ITV - And finally, a bridge in 
BBC 1 - the oven 
ITV - collapsed on top of 
Sat - my bum! 
ITV - That's all from 
Sat - Roger the cabin boy. (Advert for Captain Pugwash) 
(ITV program changes to a Star Wars Film) 
(BBC 2 program changes to a charity concert by well-known bands and artists) 
ITV - Duh, du-du-duh, duuuhhh, duuhhh, dow. (Title tune for film) 
BBC 2 - Lay your hands on (Warning! Bon Jovi song messing with alert) 
BBC 1 - the cakes in the oven, being careful as they will be very hot. 
Sat - I'm so hot I could be 
BBC 1 - a cake. 
BBC 2 - You're ready, I'm 
ITV - Darth Vader 
BBC 2 - able. To lay my 
Sat - love 
BBC 1 - spuds 
BBC 2 - on the table. 
CH 4 - Just for the feel of it (Coke advert) 
Sat - fondle my 
ITV - light sabre. 
BBC 2 - Satisfaction's guaranteed. 
(CH 4 program changes to Friends) 
BBC 2 - I'll be 
CH 4 - there for you, when the 
BBC 1 - quiche Loraine 
CH 4 - starts to fall. 
BBC 2 - I'll be there for you. (For those who don't know, Bon Jovi have a song with the same title as the Friends theme tune) 
BBC 1 - Take it out of the oven and 
BBC 2 - swear 
Sat - as you 
BBC 1 - forget the oven gloves. 
CH 4 - Pheobe 
ITV - Luke Skywalker 
BBC 2 - and Micheal Jackson 
BBC 1 - should all be mixed together in a big 
Sat - orgy 
BBC 1 - until firm to the touch, then put in 
CH 4 - Central Perk 
BBC 2 - for all to see. 
BBC 1 - Well that's it from cooking with Cheif Colin 
BBC 2 - at Wembley Stadium. 
 
(BBC 1 program changes to English Football (Soccor to the USA people)) 
 
Sat - Fanny come in here with Roger and 
CH 4 - pull this and see what happens 
BBC 2 - with a little help from my friends. 
BBC 1 - Gazza shoots in in the back of 
CH 4 - Chandler Bing 
BBC 1 - which is very quick, even for him! 
ITV - Princess Laya 
BBC 1 - is playing with the ball like its a 
ITV - Death Star 
Sat - in me now! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ohhh! 
BBC 2 - Something to believe in. (Bon Jovi song that has Uh's at the start) 
Sat - Keep going, F.... 
Ch 4 - ............riends 
Sat - Go on F.... 
BBC 1 - .....ootball 
Sat - Harder, F.... 
BBC 2 - .......reddy Mecury song 
Sat - F.... 
ITV - .orever in Darth Vaders powers 
Sat - That's it feel my 
Ch 4 - Coffee. 
This is all you are getting for now, but it is far from finished. Return to the Zany Yoghurt X-rays Without Visuals Page (My main page) which is strange, in-case you hadn't noticed.
Last updated 18th of June 1998