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Note: The bits in white are by Richard Curtis himself.
Other Bits and Other Pieces
I started writing this film six weeks after my daughter was born, and the film is going to be released on her fourth birthday. So, you'd sort of hope there'd be some re-writes somewhere, just to fill the time. And there have been. I've put together some of the scenes that, for various reasons, went before the movie was shot - and then some others that we shot, but then perished in the pitched battle that drove this film down from the three and a half hours first cut to its still quite long two hours.
This was the original opening of the movie. It was meant to introduce all the friends and relatives. In the end, however, we decided just to conecentate on William at the beginning, and this fell by the wayside. But when Hugh and Julia accepted the film, these were the first scenes they read.
In the dark - a voice has begun...
WILLIAM (v/o)
It was spring. My friend Tony was opening a restaurant in Notting Hill. He'd been a waiter for twenty years - and this was the day he broke free.
EXT. TONY'S RESTAURANT. NIGHT.
The outside of the restaurant - 'Tony's Joint'. Tony welcoming guests. He radiates a simple, enthusiastic joy. There's a hugely noisy and friendly atmosphere inside. It feels like a success.
WILLIAM (v/o)
It was a no-fail proposition, in the heart of Notting Hill, and all his friends were there...
INT. TONY'S RESTAURANT. NIGHT.
Cut to a table of William and his group of friends. They are definitively relaxed with each other.
MAX
So if you could sleep with anyone in the world, who would you choose? Bernie?
BERNIE
Ahm....gosh...well, the Queen, I suppose.
MAX
The Queen?
BERNIE
Yes. I mean, I wouldn't enjoy it or anything - but afterwards, you could say, you know, I've had the Queen - and that's got to be pretty....impressive.
MAX
What about you, Honey?
HONEY
Let's see...
BERNIE
Actually, on second thoughts, I think maybe the Queen Mum.
BELLA
Oh shut up, Bernie.
BERNIE
I mean, anyone can say they've had sex with the Queen - but her mother!
HONEY
I think it has to be Brad Pitt - with Mel Gibson's bottom.
WILLIAM
What's wrong with Brad's bottom?
HONEY
I just haven't seen it enough, that's all. Whereas Mel's always been splendidly forthcoming with his little bottie.
MAX
Fair enough. Bella?
BELLA
I sleep with the man I most want to sleep with every night. (meaning Max)
HONEY
Boo!
WILLIAM
Yes, that is pretty sickly.
BELLA
There speaks an embittered divorcee.
We cut away to Tony for a moment, who gestures at the throbbing crowd at the bar and gives them all a huge thumbs up. His big night and it's going well.
MAX
So what about you, Will? Who's your girl of girls?
WILLIAM
Do you know I've never thought about it.
HONEY
That's hurtful. What about me?
WILLIAM
You're my sister.
HONEY
Doesn't mean we don't have great sex.
MAX
Be that as it may. We're talking about famous people. I'll give you twenty seconds to make up your mind.
Meanwhile, Bernie's worried.
BERNIE (to Honey)
That's not true about you and William and having...?
HONEY
Don't be silly. The odd blow job, but we'd never actually do it.
BERNIE
Oh fine.
MAX
So, who's it to be?
WILLIAM
Seriously, there are no famous people on my list. It's all in the lighting. Up close, Cindy Crawford looks exactly like my dad.
HONEY
Oh, come on, Will, this is pathetic. It is so obvious.
WILLIAM
Who?
HONEY
The most beautiful woman in the world, as well as my favourite actress.
BERNIE
Pamela Anderson?
BELLA
Bernie.
BERNIE
Well, she may not be that beautiful - but she's a brilliant actress.
MAX
Come on, spit it out.
HONEY
Anna Scott - so clear-cut, so far in the lead.
Pause. The camera concentrates on William.
WILLIAM
Yes - well, you have a point - she is fairly fabulous...
HONEY
She's paradise in pants. Now be honest with me - do I look anything like her - I mean anything at all like her?
They all look at her. Pause.
MAX
You both have ears.
This scene was supposed to occur right after Anna says, "Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat."
Spike enters with three pizzas.
SPIKE
Voila. Carnival Calypso, for the Queen of Notting Hill - pepperoni, pineapple and a little more pepperoni.
ANNA
Fantastic.
WILLIAM
I didn't mention that Anna's a vegetarian, did I?
SPIKE
(pause) I have some parsnip stew from last week. If I just peel the skin off, it'll be perfect.
The following scene was supposed to take place after Will overhears Anna dismissing him off as a nobody at the place of her filming.
INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM. EVENING.
William is emptying Anna Scott videos into a box.
SPIKE
What's going on?
WILLIAM
I'm going to throw out these old videos.
SPIKE
No. You can't bin these. They're classics. I'm not allowing this.
WILLIAM
Right - let's talk about rent...
SPIKE
Let me help. We don't want all this shit cluttering up our lives.
After we'd cut that scene, this next one became the friends' first scene, fitting in after William and Anna's kiss in the corridor. We shot it - but in the end decided that it was more fun to meet them all the first time Anna meets them, at the birthday party. It also includes the first mention of Max and Bella not being able to have a baby - which, I can't deny, does rather leap out of nowhere in the film as it now stands. The price you pay.
INT. TONY'S RESTAURANT. DAY.
William enters. Inside it is very full - with a bright, successful, hot feel to it. William approaches a table of friends.
WILLIAM
Right - so - can you all keep a secret?
MAX
Definitely.
HONEY
Definitely.
BERNIE
Definitely not.
BELLA
Bernie!
BERNIE
I hear so many things during the day, I find it impossible to remember which one was the secret one.
WILLIAM
He's right. No-one can keep a secret.
HONEY
This is so unfair!
WILLIAM
And I was only joking anyway - as you well know, I don't have any secrets.
MAX
What about that girl in Crete?
BELLA
What girl in Crete?
WILLIAM
There was no girl in Crete - I have never actually been to Crete.
MAX
Apart from the time you went to Crete on holiday.
WILLIAM
Apart from that time.
BELLA
When there was apparently some incident with a girl.
WILLIAM
Everyone makes one mistake in their lives.
BERNIE
So is your s the one with the girl in Crete, or the business with you and that boy at school?
WILLIAM
Right - change the subject - Bernie - how's work?
BERNIE
Splendid thanks. Still wearing the suit and not having any idea what the hell is going on.
WILLIAM
Excellent. Max, Belle - any news on the kids front? We hopeful godparents are getting seriously impatient.
BELLA
Well, truth is, it's not as easy as it seems. WILLIAM
What's that?
BELLA
Having children. Getting pregnant.
She's dealing here with something that is terribly serious to her.
WILLIAM
I'm so sorry - I didn't know.
BELLA
No, no-one knows - but…well I mean it's no secret, it's just that saying you're "trying" is so… trying.
MAX
I can't begin to describe the nightmare of it - I've spent the last three months having blood tests, shooting home at four in the afternoon for sex and masturbating into test-tubes.
BERNIE
Oh dear. That's a bit rough.
MAX
No matter. So… this secret.
WILLIAM
Really. It's nothing. I'll tell you when I'm very old and you'll be amazed.
Bernie's been thinking.
Bernie
Wait a minute - you actually come home at four in the afternoon and Bella lets you have sex with her?
MAX
As it were.
BERNIE
Bloody hell. What fabulous lives other people lead.
We shot this next scene with two wonderful actors, Ann Beach and Tenniel Evans, and in our first screening, it was the funniest scene in the film. But then with each successive screening, we started to realise it was a problem. It came after Hugh and Julia kiss in the garden and it was just slowing everything down - coming when we should only be concentrating on William and Anna falling in love. So finally we lost it. You always kill the thing you love.
INT. WILLIAM'S PARENTS' DINING ROOM. DAY.
William at lunch with his parents. There are prints of racing scenes and roses on the walls. Both parents have dressed up a bit for the lunch - father in jacket and tie - mother in a floral dress.
WILLIAM
Now look - if I tell you this - you absolutely mustn't tell anyone else.
FATHER
Of course not.
WILLIAM
Well you say that - but this is a peculiarly strange person to have got… ahm… involved with…
MOTHER
It's not Fergie, is it?
WILLIAM
No, Mum - it's not Fergie.
FATHER
Don't want to get involved with Fergie - she'll spend all your money, make you suck her toes and then run off with the first bald men who takes her fancy.
MOTHER
Lady Helen Windsor is lovely.
FATHER
Oh yes - she's gorgeous.
WILLIAM
No, you know what, strangely enough, it's not a member of the royal family at all. The truth is - and you must keep this an absolute secret - I've sort of got to know… Anna Scott, in fact.
They both look at him, apparently amazed. Then…
MOTHER
Who?
WILLIAM
For heaven's sake - you know her - we watched that film of hers on telly last Christmas… come on…
FATHER
Anna Scott. Oh yes. That's right. Splendid. (pause) And how are things at the bookstore?
WILLIAM
No, stop - we can't end the conversation there. Try to take this in, Dad - it's like the equivalent in your generation of your going out with Vivien Leigh, or Grace Kelly.
MOTHER
Poor Grace.
WILLIAM
What do you mean, 'Poor Grace'?
MOTHER
What a terrible way to die. Those poor children.
WILLIAM
I'm not talking about how she died - I'm talking about how incredible it would have been to kiss her when she was alive.
FATHER
I remember the first time I kissed your mother…
MOTHER
Now, be careful here, darling.
FATHER
It was a boiling hot day…
WILLIAM
No, we're drifting again… remember, we were talking about me and Anna Scott.
MOTHER
I do remember her now. She's that pretty girl, isn't she. Looks a bit like Mavis.
FATHER
Dear Mavis - she and Gerald have had such a difficult year. Arthritis is such a bugger.
MOTHER
Poor things.
WILLIAM
Yes. Right. Good… (totally resigned to failure here) How's Deidre? Still teaching?
While I was writing the film, I went out for lunch in Westbourne Grove, where I bumped into a friend of mine called Alec, a director. He was having lunch with Gwyneth Paltrow - and although we talked for three minutes, he never introduced us. Quite rightly - I had very big hair that week, and no-one wants to be thought of as a friend of someone who looks like a mixture between Cilla Black and Margaret Thatcher. When I got back to the office, I wrote this scene. It nearly made it in, just before the Whoopsidaisies scene.
EXT. WEST END STREETS. NIGHT.
William and Anna are waking along together. A pleasant tension. They pass a laughing couple - a little drunk - in love. Then…
ANNA
Oh God - a weird-looking guy's coming straight at us. You're in charge.
She puts on her glasses.
FRIEND
Hi. William?
The suspected madman comes through the darkness. William recognises him. It's a friend.
WILLIAM
Yes - hey, how you doing?
FRIEND
Great, fine, good to see you.
Anna relaxes, since it's a friend - takes off her glasses and does a little semi-apologetic wave and smile. The friend smiles back.
WILLIAM
Well, everything trucking along, as usual?
FRIEND
Not exactly - since I lost the job things have been pretty hard - but I'm sort of getting back my equilibrium.
WILLIAM
Oh great. Well - yes, I was sad about all that - but I'm really pleased it's all coming right. You're looking well, anyway.
FRIEND
Hair's different but…
WILLIAM
Yeh, the hair really is something. Well, great to see you.
FRIEND
Yes - you too. Well, better be getting on.
Nods, smiling at Anna.
William
Yes great. Take care. Bye.
The friend walks away. William drops his head in despair.
ANNA
Why didn't you introduce us?
WILLIAM
Because I couldn't remember his sodding name. He now thinks I'm the worst human being in the world. He thinks I didn't think he was worth introducing. He thinks I'm some bastard who dumps all his friends the first time he meets a famous person.
ANNA
He can't be much of a friend, if you can't even remember his name.
WILLIAM
Well, no, that's the problem - he actually is quite a good friend - I used to play football with him every week. Oh god - and he must be feeling such a total worthless turd.
ANNA
Don't worry - we can fix it.
She runs after the friend.
WILLIAM
What are you doing?
He runs after her. She reaches the friend. He is small and balding slightly.
ANNA
Hi - William didn't introduce us - my name's Anna.
HUGO
Hi - yes - I know - I'm Hugo.
William catches up.
ANNA
He knows I'm a bit cautious about strangers - but I mean, obviously I didn't mean him not to let me meet a good friend like you… Hugo.
Tiny register on William's face - 'that's the name!'.
ANNA
Old footballing friends I hear.
HUGO
Yep, every week. Donkey in goal, me on the wing.
ANNA
I never knew 'Donkey' was such an athlete. Anyway - won't hold you up. Just wanted to say 'hello', and, you know…
She gives him a peck on the cheek.
Oh God - I'm all confused now - stick with Donkey - or simply walk away with the mysterious stranger in tweeds the touch of whose cheek has stolen my fickle heart.
Hugo is totally thrilled.
HUGO
Well, I think you better stick with him. I'm… married, actually. But… it's very nice to meet you. And maybe we can team up again soon, eh, Donko?
WILLIAM
Absolutely - Hugo my man.
HUGO
Catch you round.
ANNA
Bye.
He walks away with a high spring in his step. There is a moment of things feeling right. They head on.
ANNA
Donkey, huh?
WILLIAM
I don't know where that name came from. No logical explanation was ever given to me for how that came to be my nickname.
She laughs.
This was almost the first scene I wrote for the movie, even though it came very near the end of the plot, and it was my favourite scene. We shot it - the actors acted their socks of - and yet somehow in the edit it seemed superfluous. The problem was, it came after "Ain't No Sunshine" and, in terms of woe, the song had done the job already.
INT. BOOKSHOP. DAY.
A grey day in the bookshop. Martin and William. Time hangs heavy.
WILLIAM
Martino.
MARTIN
Capo di capo.
WILLIAM
Question.
MARTIN
Do my best.
WILLIAM
In your experience of love…
MARTIN
Yes…
WILLIAM
What credence do you give to the concept of time the healer?
MARTIN
Right. (thinks about it, then…) well, when I was at college, I fell in love with a girl who wasn't interested in me at all. For three years - not interested at all. I haven't seen her since.
WILLIAM
How long's that?
MARTIN
Seven years.
He fiddles about in his back pocket and finds his wallet. Leafs through it - takes out an old black and white picture, which he unfolds. It is a dark-haired girl, smiling, and wearing a university scarf.
I look at it every day. No-one else has ever made a mark.
William nods.
WILLIAM
I thought as much.
Another scene that came in the falling-in-love section, near the parents. I named the girl Carol after Carolyn, the first girl I seriously loved, and the first to break my heart. In a strange way, all these finding-true-love romantic comedies I've written - of which I hope this will be the last - have been an attempt to put right the awful feeling of hurt of those months after she left me. So, in terms of my writing, I owe that beautiful, sweet, mysterious dark-haired girl a lot.
EXT. WEST END STREETS. NIGHT.
They walk, like a happy couple.
ANNA
You're a big idiot.
WILLIAM
Oh my God.
ANNA
What?
WILLIAM
That woman coming up, in the expensive coat.
ANNA
What about her?
The woman, classy, well-presented, thirty-five, is approaching fast - he can't finish the sentence.
WILLIAM
She was… my word, Carol - good to see you.
CAROL
William. (she gives him a quick kiss) Sorry, I'm late as hell, as I am always late as hell.
WILLIAM
(already hurt again) Oh, fine, well, I won't hold you up. Anna - this is Carol. We were… married for years. Carol - Anna.
ANNA
Hello.
CAROL
Hi.
Very casual - then she realises who it is. She slowly looks across at William and then back at Anna. She can't quite keep her mouth closed.
Hi.
WILLIAM
You're looking lovely.
CAROL
Oh no - the hair's a disaster. George hates it and says he can't look at me.
ANNA
Tell him he's wrong.
CAROL
I will. I will.
She runs out of steam. She can't take her eyes off her ex-husband's date.
WILLIAM
How's little George?
CAROL
As horrible as big George.
WILLIAM
That is horrible. Well, you're late as hell - you better be running on. It would be lovely if you rang sometime. I'm where I was. Where we were.
CAROL
I will ring. (to Anna) Nice to meet you.
She walks away - banjaxed by Anna. William also seems shaken.
ANNA
Are you okay?
WILLIAM
Yes. Yeh. It's just…
A big smile.
If you have to bump into your ex-wife for the first time in four years - what a fantastic person to be with when it happens.
ANNA
God, you're shallow.
WILLIAM
I know.
We watch them as they walk away.
And profoundly ashamed of it.
Three more yards - and then he does a big skip into the air - total glee.
This is another scene we shot, which was pretty well the heart of the film. But once again - as so often happens - looks, music, rhythms tell the story in a completely unexpected way, and things that seemed crucial become superfluous. Also, it was meant to come before the scene on Hampstead Heath - and somehow there was a feeling that it was time for William himself to take decisive action, rather than having to be pushed into it by his friends. It's a pity, because Tim was wonderful in this scene.
EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD. NIGHT.
Cut to after dinner. Max and William are strolling along Portobello. They pass Woolworths window, showing posters of stars, including Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford.
MAX
Are you a Claudia or a Cindy man?
WILLIAM
Cindy, I think.
MAX
Yes, I'm Cindy too. Clauds is perfection - but she has got to be punished for the whole David Copperfield thing.
They stroll along.
Just incidentally - and I'm only saying this for your own good - you know what an absolute bloody nightmare this stuff with Bella has been.
This catches william off his guard.
WILLIAM
Of course.
MAX
I mean I love us not talking about it. If you talked about it, we'd both smack you. but it's a rel pain int eha rse. The muscles in her legs are just… she has to do this electric stimulation thing. Kate Moss is the one I really adore…
WILLIAM
I agree. Nice local girl.
MAX
And she has had to have so much love for me not to have spent the lstyear shouting at me beause I make so many bloody mistkaes and had to go back to work too quickly and get panicky when she smokes and anyway… the reason I mention it is… I'm getting a nagging suspicion that of all disasters you actually fell in love with your American girl.
William looks across at him.
And if it is a love thing - well then: whatever the price - you have to pay it.
WILLIAM
Meaning?
MAX
Meaning, you have to go to that film set and tell that bloody enormous movie star that you're absolutely the man for her and she'd be stark staring mad not to spend the rest of her life with you… and your very attractive friends.
WILLIAM
Ha. And she'll say - 'get out of the way of the camera, you dismal pasty-faced nonentity.'
MAX
Maybe. The risk of total failure is, of course, part of the price of love.
They keep walking.
WILLIAM
Hmmm. (a few strides. Then…) Hampstead Heath, you say.
MAX
Paper says tomorrow's the final day.
WILLIAM
Classic.
Penultimately, a fourth girlfriend, exquisitely played by Sally Phillips, from the sequence where William is force-dated. She turned out to be a girlfriend too far.
INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/CONSERVATORY. NIGHT.
Cut back to Max at the stove.
MAX
Right - prepare for the pudding…
He opens the steaming door and takes out something very burnt…
Which I think is ice-cream on it's own.
He walks over to the table: Bernie, Honey, Bella, William - it's a week later and there's another girl, Bernie's choice.
MAX
Ice -cream, Caroline?
CAROLINE
Oh absolutely. Pile it on.
Huge grin on Bernie's face. She's doing well. She's a very cheerful, quite posh type. In that green jumper.
WILLIAM
And tell me, Caroline - what do you do?
CAROLINE
Sorry - not with you…
WILLIAM
What do you do - as a job?
CAROLINE
Oh gotcha, right. Yes. Absolutely. Sorry. Durr. Ah, no, right. Ahm. No. I teach actually.
WILLIAM
Oh. Right. What age?
CAROLINE
I'm 28, come June.
WILLIAM
Right. And how old are the children you teach?
CAROLINE
Oh God - is that what you meant? Sorry. Had my brains just scooped out with a great big spoon. Ahm - no - sorry - ahm - what was the question?
WILLIAM
How old are the children you teach?
CAROLINE
Actually they're not children. They're dogs. And they come in all ages.
WILLIAM
Classic. Challenging stuff.
The final scene here is just to show how far a film can travel. In the first draft I wrote, the character of Honey was not William's sister - she worked in the record store opposite his bookshop and actually went out with him after Anna the movie star slipped out of his life. The original movie was about a man choosing between someone sweet and poor who wore glasses and the most glamorous woman in the world. And he chose Honey. But in the end, I just couldn't bear to dismiss either of them, so I made Honey a sister and sorted things out with Anna instead. This is a scene where the original Honey finally decides to stand up for herself. William has just gone swimming to try to sort out his horrible dilemma.
INT. PORCHESTER BATHS. DAY.
We see William swimming away - 10 lengths, 20 lengths, 30 lengths. Thinking.
Finally he makes his way into the men's locker room - and is having a shower.
NAKED MAN
You did a lot of lengths.
WILLIAM
Yes, well, I've got a lot to think about.
NAKED MAN
Right.
He comes out. And in walks Honey.
HONEY
Hi.
WILLIAM
Honey.
HONEY
I've been thinking.
WILLIAM
So have I. I'll be changed in a minute - I'll come out.
HONEY
No, I'm keen to talk about it now.
WILLIAM
The thing is, women aren't actually allowed…
HONEY
Oh don't be such a drip.
The naked man appears and is startled by her being there - he rushes off to find a towel - and then has a lot of trouble over the next two minutes trying not to let her see him naked again - he doesn't seem to have enough hands to open his locker and get things out without his towel slipping off - and in the end - the towel comes right down, when he's turned her way. But that is in the background - we're half watching that - and half watching Honey talking to William.
You clearly have a decision to make of some sort - and I just want to say something about that. The thing is… don't just judge me by what I am, Willie…
WILLIAM
I'm not judging anyone…
HONEY
Judge me by… what I'd like to be. I may just be a girl in a record store - but in my heart, I'm all the girls whose records I sell - I'm Barbara Streisand and Edith Piaf, I'm Chrissie Hynde and Janis Joplin, I'm crazy Sinead and sensible Bonnie Raitt and stupid Cyndi Lauper. I'm Madonna and I'm Ella Fitzgerald. I'm more than I seem. I'm all the things I dream.
WILLIAM
Sweetheart.
HONEY
And I love you, which is another thing.
William takes this in.
Well, that's it. I'll leave you alone now.
WILLIAM
No, stay - I'll be out in a minute.
HONEY
No, I think you have all the facts. I look forward to your decision.
Honey turns to the troubled naked man.
And in case you're worried or curious, yes, that is a very small penis indeed.
And she leaves…
It is, as you can see, a long, long road, with many a winding turn.
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