I don't remember what happened to my parents, or why I was all alone on the streets of New York on that cold, dim night. All I remember about my childhood was that I've been a newsie for as far back as I can remember. Which isn't that far back. I think my first memory was the day I met Jack Kelly, and became a newsie, I was about eleven or twelve at the time...
I was wandering the streets of New York that night. It was dark and cold, and I was looking for a place to sleep. I walked past the Lodging House where all the newsies who sold their papes each day in the streets slept, gazing at it with longing in my gray-blue eyes. The wind blew a chill right through me and I stopped for a second, coughing and shivering, to catch my breath before I continued wandering on into the night. I heard footsteps behind me, and, terrified that it was the police, I dove into the nearest shadowy corner for protection. But then the footsteps stopped, and I anxiously peered out from behind the staircase, only to see a boy about my age standing there, looking at me. At first I was terribly frightened, but something about his blond hair and his easygoing appearance put me quickly at ease.
I looked at him with wonder and he said to me, "Hi. I's Jack Kelly, but da boys 'round here calls me Cowboy. What's your name an' why are ya wandering dese streets in dis weather alone?"
I was slightly stunned, and it took me a while to whisper out, "Lynn. Youse can call me Lynn." He put out his hand and helped me up from the ground where I'd tumbled in a heap.
"Hi Lynn, where are ya on your way to at this time of da night?" I didn't know what to say, and stood there, helpless, until he said, "Don't ya have anywhere ta go? Your folks'll be awful worried 'bout ya if you ain't home soon."
I just broke down crying, and didn't know what to say. If I had known what to say I wouldn't have been able to, I was too overcome by emotion. I sat down on the cold cement steps outside the Lodging House and shivered, shaking with suppressed sobs.
Soon, Jack came and sat next to me. "Now don't ya cry now. Jus' come on inside, da guys might help ta put ya at ease." He said, in a gruff, kind sort of way. I just sat there shivering, and he put his hand in mine and half-pulled, half-helped me to stand up. He walked with me into the Lodging House and sat me down on a bunk bed. Then he went somewhere, leaving me to sit.
I pulled off my hat and smoothed the two braids of mousy-brown hair that hung slightly messed up down my back. I knew I should fix them, because I was going to be faced with a roomful of boys, and newsies at that, but I didn't have the heart. I was afraid that the guys would take one look at me and send me right back out into the streets... and I did so want a chance to sleep in this room with people who cared about me!
Jack came back into the room and told me that the guys would be coming in a minute. I sat there, nodding my head. I hoped they wouldn't try to make me talk, because if I did I just knew I'd burst into tears again. I wasn't sure just why I was crying. I was crying because I didn't know where I was, and I was upset about not having my parents there. I was crying because no one had ever been even remotely nice to me in my entire life, and I was so caught up in the emotion of the situation. I was crying because I was scared and happy at the same time. More scared though, definitely more scared.
So I sat there on the bed, with Jack sitting beside me, and I picked up my hat to put it back on. I twisted it around in my hands nervously as I waited for the guys to come in. I was wondering what their reactions to the mousy little girl on the bed would be. I sat there nervously shaking. I know it seems like I was sort of a wimp, but think about it this way, if you were a little girl who'd just been scared stiff by a person you didn't know, and then been carefully reassured and gently cared for by the same someone you didn't know, well, you'd have cried too. And you'd be scared of meeting a whole bunch of guys you didn't know. So I was sitting on the thin blanket on the bed, twisting my hat around.
A boy entered, he looked to be a few years older than me. He looked at me, he looked at Jack, he looked back at me, and said "Uhh.. hi. I'm known as Racetrack around here. You are.... Lynn, right?" I sat there, wide eyed, and looked past him at the other boys who had quietly come in. They were all sitting on the beds surrounding me. It was a very strange feeling, but it was nice to know that they genuinely cared.
"Yeah." I said, "I's called Lynn." My voice came out sounding really funny. I think it was all the crying that I'd been doing. I don't know. My face turned quite red with embarrassment. Slowly I was asked a few questions. A guy named Mush asked me how old I was. I told him "I don't really know, but I's 'bout eleven or twelve I thinks, from me best mem'ry." There were a lot of questions, but I was just tired and wanted to sleep. It was already very late at night, and all this attention and upset wasn't going to help these poor newsboys sell their papes tomarrow if they were up so late. I said to them, "ya know, I don't want youse ta hafta sacrifice youse money jus' for da likes 'a me."
They all looked at me and must have seen how sleepy I was in my eyes or my face and they mostly all politely said "goodnight", and went off to their own bunks. I had a feeling that the bunk I was sitting on belonged to someone, so I stood up (leaning a little on Jack, because he was still sitting on the bed) and looked around. Mostly all the bunks seemed to be taken. I think one of the boys must have noticed the look on my face and he said, "Oh, youse don't needs ta worry 'bout where youse gonna sleep. Youse can sleep right on da bunk youse sittin' on." and I turned around to face the bed. I gratefully slipped under the blanket and marveled at how soft and warm it could be in any place at all.
I heard a few murmurs of "g'night" and even a few people said, "G'night Lynn, hope ya sleep well." I don't know who it was that said this to me, but I know it felt good. In fact, I realized that no one had said my name to me in such a long time. It was hard to believe that it was even still my name. I went to bed with the sounds of "G'night, Lynn." ringing in my ears.
The next morning I was woken up rather rudely by the shouting of an old man. I don't think he noticed that there was anyone extra sleeping in the bunkhouse that night, and somehow I figured that this was going to be the best day of all. I slowly sat up in bed, and noticed that no one else was that none of the other guys were getting up.
"Hey guys, dontcha wake up around here? I thought youse had ta sell papes!" A few of them groggily rolled over, and Jack said,
"No one else wakes up as chippa' as youse, I guess, Lynn. We's all tired." I laughed and tapped a few of the boys with a wet towel. They sure got up in a hurry. I stopped torturing them though, I had to get ready for the day.
In a room full of boys I couldn't be seen in the state I was in. I unbraided my hair and ran my fingers through it a few times. I wished that with all the wonderfulness of the Lodging House that at least one of the boys would have a brush of some sort, but of course, they didn't. I splashed some of the freezing water on my face and scrubbed it until I was pink. Then I splashed my hands in the water ran them through my hair. I yanked at the tangles in my hair for what seemed like forever, and a couple of boys appeared in the doorway.
"Hey, is her majesty awake? Lynn, how's ya doin'? Can we come in?" These boys were being too polite for my liking.. If I was going to live with them we had to drop all the formality, you know?
"Hey boys, lose the formality. I knows ya don't ask permission before youse barge in on de udda boys, treat me da same way." I could see them noticeably relax. They came in and started laughing as they pumped the cold water into the basin, and scrubbed at their faces. While they shaved (They didn't have anything to shave off, but I guess they were pretending), I braided my hair. Two straight braids down the back. I thought about tucking them up under my hat so I'd look more like a boy, but decided against it, thinking it would make things easier for me if I left them down. I took the towel and wet it, and then scrubbed at my kneepants until I got the stains out from the previous night's tumble into the muddy ground. After that I straightened my shirt and put on my hat. Now I looked like one of the other newsies, well, one of the other newsies with braids.
"Hey Mush, she looks jus' like us." Observed one of the other newsies, I think it was Racetrack. Then, I realized that I had no idea how to be a newsie. How was I to get the papes to sell? How was I going to find a way to sell the papes? And most importantly... How was I going to get any money to buy the papes in the first place?
In the middle of all my worrying, a voice broke into my thoughts. "Lynn, do ya know how youse gonna sell da papes today, or even how ta sell da papes?" a voice asked softly, I turned sharply to my right to see Cowboy standing behind me. "Do ya?" He asked again. I looked straight into his eyes, and for a second I thought I saw a want for true friendship, something I'd never had. It startled me.
I broke my eyes away from his and answered him with a half-whispered, "Well, um, I... no." I must have had a really sad or distressed look on my face because he flashed me a bright smile and said he'd show me how to do it all.
He and Race started out the door and were walking down the street. I assumed I was supposed to follow them, so I set off, trying to imitate their jaunty, carefree style of walking. They went up to a large iron gate and waited until it was opened. Race turned around to make sure I was still there, and motioned for me to come up to the front. Many newsies were milling around me so I slipped through the crowd to join Cowboy and Race. When I got up there, I found Cowboy talking to another boy, who I assumed to be a newsie.
"Lynn, dis 'ere's my friend David. He's a real smart type, ya know?" I laughed a little, and spit in my hand and stuck it out, the way I'd seen the other newsies doing.. Jack laughed at me, but Davy spit in his hand and shook, it almost looked like he didn't want to, but I guess he couldn't possibly wimp out more than a girl. I guess it was really pretty startling to have a girl come up to you, dressed and acting like a boy, and intending to be a newsie on top of that. That probably explained the startled look David had given me when he first saw me.
Then, Jack tossed me a coin, and told me to buy twenty papes. I went up to the little window and asked this old man with a really mean face for twenty papes. He gave me a really funny look and called to his partner, "Ey! Look what we's got 'ere, a little goyl.." The other guy laughed, and the look on their faces really disturbed me, so I slapped my money down on the counter and tried to look at ease, or mean, one of the two (I hoped for both). In my most forceful (and totally put on) voice I said,
"Please, I want my papes." The man laughed and flung a stack of papes onto the counter.
"Theya, " he said, "youse got yer twenty papes, little goyl." I scowled, grabbed my papes, and backed out of his eyesight, making sure no one was going to come after me or something. I don't know what I was so afraid of, but I didn't like the way those men looked.. When I got down there, I set my papes on a park bench and sat next to them. Jack came over to me and sat down next to me. He had a stack of papes more than twice the size of mine, but I knew he was one of the best newsies so I wasn't expecting to sell as many as him anyhow.
"So, Cowboy, what'm I gonna do wit' all dese papes? I has no idea how I's s'posed ta sell 'em." He turned to me and laughed, and took me to a street corner.
"Now I knows you ain't too familia' wit' dis area, so's you jus' walk up an' down dis street until youse got no more papes left. Den youse can sit down hea' and wait fer me. I'll be along." I walked up and down the street, walking over to people and telling them the headline, asking them to buy the pape. I only sold 7 in the first few hours. The sun was beating down on me, and my hat was hot and heavy on my head. I wanted to take it off, but was afraid of people's reactions being even stranger when they encountered a girl newsie who was showing off that she's a girl newsie. I waited for a new person to come down the street.
A finely dressed gentleman in a black coat was walking towards me, so I went up to him and showed him my pape. "Buy me pape, sir?" I asked, "Dey's only a penny." He looked at me very strangely. Oh no, I thought, another person's going to comment on the fact that I'm a girl newsie.
"Hey, little girl? Are you sure you are supposed to be selling those papers?" He asked me with a very strange tone of voice. It bothered me, so I turned to walk away. He grabbed me by the shoulder and demanded to know why I was pretending to be a newsie. "Who are you hiding from?" He asked, "are you a runaway?" His voice scared me, so earnest, so very.. forceful. It bothered me, and I had no idea what I was supposed to say. I tried to turn and run but his grip on my shoulder was too tight.
"Mista, could youse please let go 'a me? I's got papes ta sell, an' if ya don't wanna buy one dats' youse business, but I's wan'in ta get on wit' me sellin'." He just turned me around and started to walk me forward. I did not like this one bit. In fact, it downright scared me. I get scared very easily, as you have probably noticed, but this was really scared. Not like the way people are scared of storms, or the dark, or the way that I was scared of meeting the guys, this was the type of scared you get when you have a feeling something very bad is going to happen. I tried to wrestle myself out of his grasp. I had no idea who this man was, but I never wanted to find out, that was for sure. I kicked him in the shin, but he just slapped me across the face and told me to walk. I walked, but very slowly. My cheek started to really hurt but I said nothing. I didn't want to get hit again.
I tried to remember everything I passed. The stand with the fruit, the lamppost with the scratched off paint on one side, the fence here and the building there. I wanted to be able to get back to the street Jack left me on if I could get away. I know I sound like a real wimp here. Why didn't I turn and bite the guy, or slap him, or kick him again. Why didn't I fight him? Well, I was. But I was a very young girl, it was my first day as a newsie, and I had never learned to fight. Believe me, it's hard to fight when you don't know how. He turned down a cold street, which was shadowed by tall buildings. I hated it. I was incredibly frightened, even for an eleven year old girl who is probably scared of a lot. I hit at his hands, trying to free myself. Suddenly, I saw a movement off to one side of the row of buildings. I screamed as loud as I could to try to get the person's attention. I think I did, actually, I know I did. I didn't know who it was, but I was incredibly grateful that they had noticed me.
They turned down the street and started to very quietly come up behind to see what was happening. I didn't really see what happened, but the man suddenly tumbled backwards and his hand scraped right across my face. Ouch. That really hurt. Right where he'd slapped me too. Suddenly, Jack appeared from behind the man, smiled briefly, and then became serious and yelled,
"Cheese it! Cheese it! 'E won't be down long an' we 'afta get away!" I tore down the street after Jack while he ran down odd alleyways. Occasionally I could hear pounding footsteps chasing behind us, but when Jack runs that fast, you know something has to be very wrong, and when you are running for your life, you run very fast too.
Jack stopped and leaned heavily against a brick wall in a dark alley. We stood there, panting heavily, and he looked around nervously. "Whoa. That was a close one, kid. Youse sure gots a lot ta learn 'bout dese streets!" He said, very seriously. Then his tone softened a little as he added, "But, we was all like dat once, so I guess it's ok." I laughed a little, because it actually was a funny picture, Jack having such an amazing run- in with a guy like that. I briefly tried to imagine him actually needing help. It didn't work.
"Who was that guy, Cowboy?" I asked. "Snyda'," he replied. I knew better than to ask any more, because the hatred and fear in his eyes told me that in good time, all would be explained, and this was not the right moment to ask. This boy really knew what he was doing, he could be so serious inside his Cowboy appearance. I decided to ask him one more thing, and I chose to call him Jack. "Do you know where we are, by chance, Jack?" I asked, Jack laughed.
"Da Cowboy always knows where 'e is. But we's gotta be very careful, 'cause Snyda' could be anywhea' 'round hea'." So we set off down the streets. By now it was quite dark, and because we didn't have anything to talk about, I was thinking to myself. Obviously Jack had seen where the man - Snyder was he called? Well, he's seen where he'd taken me. I wondered if Jack had been following me all day, or if he had just come to find me. I wondered if he'd sold any of his papes? Then I realized I didn't know where any of my papes were. I'd probably dropped them when I was struggling to get away from Snyder.
Oh, how grateful I was for Jack! If he hadn't come around just then, well, I don't even want to think about that. I still didn't know what that man was going to do with me. I decided I didn't want to know. I looked up at Jack, (yes, he was a lot taller than me. Not that I was short or anything, he was taller than mostly everyone, but I did have to look up at him.) His hair was stuck down close to his face, probably because he'd worked up a sweat running so very fast from Snyder. I had a cramp in my side from all the running, I wasn't accustomed to running so fast. His eyes were fixed on something in front of him, though what it was I couldn't tell. He looked, well, I don't know what the expression on his face was supposed to mean. He didn't look mad exactly, it was almost like he was tired, but there was something else.
"Jack, whatsa matta'?" I asked, with my smallest voice possible.
"Nothin'." Came a rather forcefully nonchalant reply.
"Ya look, sad, or angry. Did I do anythin' wrong? I's real sorry about dat guy, Snyda'. Did he hurtcha?" Jack stopped and leaned against a building. I could see the Lodging House just a little ways down the road. He looked right into my eyes, and I could see that he was looking for something. I didn't know what, but it was something very important to him. I felt so, so strange. I mean, if there was this person who everyone thought was just, strong? Happy? Adventurous? Most of all, someone you, yourself had thought of that way, even if you'd only known him for a short time? If this person was feeling very, I don't know, strange or maybe he just wanted me to know, it was a very strange feeling for me.
All I could say was, "I know. I understands." He looked at me almost sharply, and then took my hand and walked the rest of the way to the Lodging House.
I went in first. "Hey guys, what's goin' on?" I guess the voice of a girl in the Lodging House was not a common or expected thing yet, because they looked up, rather startled, and when they saw it was me they relaxed a little bit.
"Oh Lynn, it's only youse! We ain't used ta havin' a goyl 'round da place yet." Said one of the guys. I was getting better with names, and I thought it was Racetrack.
I laughed a bit, and then took a chance, "Very funny, Race." I said.
He smiled, a nice smile, and said, "You learn real fast. Who's dat ova' dere?" I looked where he was pointing and saw a boy with dark, curly hair leaning against a bunk bed nearby, he gave me a silly smile, and I smiled back. I had no idea who he was.
I took a wild guess from the names I could think of, "I have no idea, Race. Dat's mean of ya. Ummm... maybe is it... Pie Eata'?" I laughed at myself, because I knew that I was totally wrong. Pie Eater was a lot younger than this boy. Oh well, at least all the boys laughed too, but in a nice sort of way.
One of the other boys stood up. "I's Pie Eata'." He said, "dat dere's Mush."
I laughed, "Sorry 'bout dat, Mush. I can't rememba' da names too well yet.."
He laughed, "It's ok," he said. I was really enjoying living here. Yes, it was a little strange at times to be the only girl among a lot of boys, but it was definitely a nice thing to feel wanted, and to feel like you had a family.
I was smiling at the group when one of the boys asked me, "what happened ta yer cheek?" I frowned, not knowing what I was supposed to say.
"Um.. what's your name?" I asked, sort of randomly.
"Bumlets. But what happened to you?" He pushed it on me.
"Oh, that? Well, it was just something that happened to me. It doesn't hurt," I lied. "What a funny name that is, Bumlets!"
Jack came in a few minutes after me. "Hi guys, how's da life? Uh.. hi Lynn." I smiled at him, and he smiled back at me. Maybe he was just smiling at the group. Oh no Lynn. I told myself that I would not fall in love with anyone in the Lodging House. It would ruin our great relationship, so friendly. Still, so many of them were so cute. It was like a law that to be a newsie you had to be cute. I stopped. That was the last thing I wanted to be thinking about.
I looked around the room. Some of the boys were in little clusters, talking about the day's events. Some were just sitting on their bunks, doing nothing, some were spreading out the money they'd made that day, counting it. That reminded me. I felt in my pocket for the seven pennies I'd managed to earn that day. I could still feel them. I was glad that nothing had happened to them during my fleeing from that man, Snyder. I couldn't bring myself to borrow money from Jack again, so I figured I'd buy fourteen papes the next day, and sell those, earning fourteen cents, and then I could give Jack back the ten he'd borrowed me. I knew that these boys couldn't afford just to lose ten cents like that. Then I'd use the four pennies I still had to buy eight papes, and from then on I'd be making clear money. That was a good thing.
Okay, at least I knew I could get out of my debt to Jack. I felt really bad about having wasted most of his money on papes I must have dropped when Snyder was, well, attacking me, chasing me, whatever you'd call it. I took out the pennies and spread them out in my hand. Such a pretty site, money that was (sort of) mine. Yeah, I knew I owed it all to Jack, but I had earned this money myself. It was a really nice feeling.
One of the boys came up to me, "Hi. I'm Specs. You can prob'ly remember dat 'cause I's da one wit' da glasses." I looked up at him, he was a nice boy wearing glasses, as he said. I wouldn't have trouble remembering his name. Specs. I could remember that, if I could remember Mush and Bumlets. I did wonder where they got these names. Specs continued, "I was jus' wonderin' how youse foyst day sellin' papes was." I looked up at the boy who had been speaking to me.
I started to speak, "Ulg.." Whoa. That was not supposed to happen. I smiled as I blushed, and cleared my throat before I spoke again. "Well, today Jack lent me a litta' money." I started to tell the story as best I could. Soon I got to the point where I was going to tell about meeting the man who chased me down. I stopped in mid-sentence. Specs looked at me, he'd sort of been staring off into space, looking sort of wistful, as I spoke. I also noticed that Jack looked at me. I finished my story, "Uh.. an' so's I made seven pennies. Dat ain't so bad for da foyst day, is it?"
Specs laughed, "On my foyst day, I sold jus' one pape. An' dat was when dis udda newsie sold it for me!" I didn't know whether to laugh or not, so I got a very confused expression on my face, which caused Specs to really burst out laughing, and of course that set me off, and we sat there cracking up for a really long time.
When I opened my eyes (I'd closed them because I was laughing so hard), I saw that every newsie in the place was staring at me. I tried to smile at everyone, but all that happened was that they all laughed at my beet-red face. Oh well, I could live with that, I mean, when people laugh at you that way, at least you know they think you're worth listening to, (I hope I interpreted that right!).
It was a very fun evening. I wished that all my nights from then on could be
this happy. Of course, I was wrong, because everything can't be perfect always, but we
did have many good times in the Lodging House after a long day of working the streets.
That night I fell asleep, and had nice dreams.
To part
2!