Writin by: Sage Smith; Directed and Edited by: Alicia; All Star cast including: Sage, Alicia, (Weird) Kisten, Dana, Patricia, and Kail.)
Sage Smith, is at the E! building late one night when she stumbles accross post-it notes from Hal Sparks. They lead her to the roof where Hal is waiting, sitting at a beautiful table with candles a bottle of wine and a red rose in his mouth. Sage, shocked and excited says: "Oh, Hal! It's beautiful." Hal looks at her and says: "Nothing is too good for you." Soft music plays in the background, and he takes her hand. He removes the rose from his mouth and puts it behind her ear as he dips her. The music gets softer yet closer, and they dance into the moonlight. Hal is in the middle of dipping Sage when Alicia,(Weird)Kristen, Dana, Kali, and Patricia burst onto the roof. Hal drops Sage and the girls simultaneously scream "Hal!" They come running and crush the red rose as it falls from Sage's ear. Hal says "It's not what you think!" Sage gets up and cluch's Hals arm and says "Hal? Who are they?" Hal stands between them and tries to explain, but it's too late. They're already at each others throats. Sage pulls Alicia's hair and she screams as she reaches for Sage's head. Kali(a midget) kicks Sage in the shin as patricia pokes her in the eye. Sage yelps in pain. Finally Hal says "woah ladies!" They calm themselves and sit down.
As Hal stands in front of them tugging at his shirt nervously he begins to tell them about his Talk Soup gig and how demanding it is. They start to take pity on him as he begins to weep. Sage puts her arm around him at the same time as Kristen. Sage nkocks Kristen's arm from Hal's sholder, Kristen hits her, and once again it's a knock down, drag out! Hal calms them for a second time as they agree to follow him to his car for a surprise that would end the fighting. Dana gives Sage one last kick in the leg.
As they are in the parking lot, still arguing, Hal tells them to stay put and runs to his car. A few seconds later he returns with a goofy grin and pulls out a ring box from his pocket. They stand around him looking into his gorgeous brown eyes...well all except for Kali the midget, she's looking into his knees...nervously he takes a deep breath...But before he can mutter a word a man with a gun darts around the corner. He says "I loved Johnny. I hate you! You must die!!" He shoots at Hal, and as he screams like a girl, Alicia jumps in front of him and takes the bullet.(The midget tried, but she couldn't jump high enough to reach the bullet) Alicia lies dying in the parking lot. Hal runs to her side and puts his hand behind her head to lift it. Alicia slowly closes her eyes and whispers her last words "I love you Hal" as her head goes limp in his hands.
A year after Alicia's death, Sage is running through the E! parking lot because she is late for a meeting. Suddenly she crashes into a guy with the most alluring cologne. "Hey! Watch it!" Suddenly, she looks up as she gathers her papers and gasps. It's Hal! Sage can see him begin to remember that night, that horrible night. As Sage comforts him, he looks up at her. "Hal,"She asks, "Who were you going to ask?" He stands up and begins to weep harder. As Sage holds him close she wispers "You don't have to tell me." He finally subdues his crying, "I loved Alicia, I loved you all," He said, "but Alicia, she was my passion." He runs from her arms crying.
Days later, Sage recieves a letter from him. As did, Patricia, Kali, Kristen and Dana. The letter reads: 'I love you as much as anyone person can love another. Meet me where it all began, the roof of the E! building at 9:00 tonight. Though it seems doubtful at this point, I really love each of you as much as one person can love another, well the midget kind of gets on my nerves
That night they meet him at the E! building. He sets each one down, softly carressing their face as he does. He stands in front of the table, takes a deep breath and says "I loved Alicia the most. But I would like to marry..." Suddenly, from the corner the gunman rairs his head. He shoots and it scrapes Hals shoulder. He runs after the gunman who ducks out of the way and grabs Sage. "Let her go!" Hal yells. "You'll have to fight me for her." Says the gunman. Hal rears back and knocks the gun out of his hand with a flying butterfly kick. This gives enough leeway for Sage to run. Hal breaks into some Kung fu. The gunman, who just so happens to be Kali the midgets ex, falls to the floor after a blow to the head. He reaches for the gun and as Hal turns away for a second, shoots him in the chest. As the girls scream and cry they rush to his side. He kisses each one for the last time and says, "I'm going to be with Alicia now. But Sage, you are my soul, my desire. As was Alicia, without the two of you, I have no reason to live." Sage cries "No Hal! I love you, please stay with me?!" Hal says "I'm sorry, but I must go to Alicia now. But someday, you will be with me." And he kisses her one last time and closes his eyes.
(oh god here come the tears)