Holy Caca

Sam looked around. Why was he in the middle of a field? Where was he? The only thing Sam could see for miles was field. It didn't look like anyone even lived here, so what was he doing here?
"Holy Caca!" cried a voice from behind him.
"Al!" cried Sam, spinning around. "Why am I in a field?"
"Okay, Sam, you're the priest...." started Al.
"Yeh, I figured that one," replied Sam.
"Let me finish. See, about 3 hours ago, you, or Father Tom Daples, got a phone call from a woman claiming to be his wife, whom he thought died in a train wreck eleven years before. See, back then he wasn't a priest, but when he 'found out' he went and became one. And he never found out what had really happened. Especially, since the wife had had amnesia after the wreck. She finally remembered who she really was after taking a vacation with her son back to Dallas where they used to live, yet she didn't know this. And hadn't been back to Dallas since the day she left in 1944. And it's....." Al explained.
"Al, slow down. So, I'm here to find the kid?" interrupted Sam.
"Not exactly. Let me finish," replied Al. "Okay, see it's March 8th 1955, and it's been exactly 11 years since. Well, this lady, Patricia and her son Michael are in deep caca. See, she had remarried. Didn't exactly know she was already....but this nozzle is suing her because he claims he has custody of the kid, which in fact, you would. The kid is eleven, and according to Ziggy, is going to be stuck in the middle and almost gets killed, when...." Al's voice trailed off.
"What?" asked Sam. "What?"
"When you do," replied Al, not looking up from the handlink.
"Me?? AL! What.. where was Tom going when I Leaped in?" Sam said.
"Well. I would say... Ziggy says that Michael was coming to see Tom. Michael seemed to have called Tom. I don't know how he found out Tom was his real dad. I think the kid is pretty street smart and called several operators to locate Tom. I still don't know HOW the kid..." Al stated.
"AL! Come on. So what... What direction? And how much does Tom know about the kid so far?" Sam said.
"Well, Sam, Michael told Tom everything, but Tom isn't quite convinced. I spoke to him in the waiting room and he seemed very anxious to get to Michael. That's why he didn't wait for a car to be cleared and you are walking." Al replied.
"Yeah, but Al, there HAS to be another way than walking through this field!" Sam said.
"Well... seems that Michael accidentally let it slip that he was going to look for his long lost father, and shortly after he left, the new father, Scott Fenning, started out after him. And uh-oh, Sam... he has a gun with him." Al said.
"Oh boy, Al! This is crazy!" Sam said.
"Holy Caca, Sam, that's not all... seems Scott has caught up with Mike and... You gotta hurry!! This field is a short cut to Mike and you have to hurry over that hill..." Al said.
Sam ran over the hill and discovered an old shack. He heard who he took to be Scott calling Mike.
"Doesn't sound like he found him yet..." Sam whispered.
"In there Sam... Mike is hiding in there. Scott is a little ways off. Mike bolted and Scott isn't exactly the picture of health..." Al said.
Sam cautiously worked his way over to the shack. Scott hadn't yet come up a hill near by. But Sam could hear his sickening sweet cooing and feared for Mike. This guy was a real nut. Sam entered the little shack and spied the boy in the corner. He had blond hair, big green eyes and was thin and lanky.
"Dad?" he said. Then, "DAD! I knew you'd come! Scott is chasin’ me!"
The kid seemed scared and Sam ran over to comfort him. "We have to get out of here quickly, Mike!" Sam said urgently.
He gathered up Mike and ran out of the shed and over the hill right as Scott caught sight of the shed.
"WHEW!" Sam said. "Is that all Al? Am I gonna Leap now?"
"’Fraid not, Sam. You still get killed. And this time so does Patricia and Mike," replied Al.
"When?" asked Sam.
"Who are you talking to Pop?" asked Mike.
"Um, I, uh, to ummm, I'm praying son. That Scott doesn't chase after us," replied Sam.
"Huh? Okay, um, Pop, I'm able to walk myself," said Mike, looking up at Sam.
"Oh, yeh. Sam, it's better if you let the kid run too. Scott doesn't find you....til tonight, unless you stand around like a......" started Al, not finishing.
"Well, c'mon, let's go on," said Sam.
"Yeh, Pop. Um, you gonna call Mom?" asked Mike, kicking the grass as he walked.
"Ugh, well, son I would, but I can't seem to remember her number. Been a long time you know," replied Sam, hoping that Tom really wouldn't know the number.
"Oh, yeh, well, I'll lead ya there, and you two can just talk," replied Mike.
"Okay," replied Sam, walking over to the beat up car that sat in the gravel.
As Sam neared, he saw a middle aged woman sitting in the driver's seat.
"Mike… Who… Um… why didn’t you tell me…?" Sam said, surprised.
"I was gonna surprise ya, Dad!" Mike said, seeming happy.
"Uh, hi... Patricia.." Sam said, uncomfortably.
"Hello... Tom." Patricia said, holding back tears.
"I guess Ziggy was wrong. Seems she was as curious as Mike. She actually drove Mike half way. But when Mike had called Tom, they were to meet in the field. Seems no one told Scott and so he went into a frenzy and cut Mike off. Patricia would know none of this yet because she waited in the car. So that brings us to... here." Al informed Sam.
"Uh... I'm confused but okay," Sam whispered to Al.
"Patricia... you never called me that before." Patricia said sadly. "It was always Patty."
"Yeah, Patty. Sorry about that." Sam muttered.
"So aren’t you gonna ask how we found you and why we never got in touch?" Patty asked.
"No... I mean yes, but not now!! You're... new husband Sc... I mean... well he followed you here and tried to catch Mike." Sam said urgently.
"WHAT!?!? Well, he is fine with... Oh God..." Patty said.
"No he is out for revenge. He seems to be jealous of me and..." Sam started.
"Pop? You never even met Scott yet!" Mike piped in.
"Uh... well... from the... *cough* looks of it... I mean... well..." Sam stuttered.
"Come on Tom!! Mike!! get into the car! We'll go to the rectory!!" Patty said, starting up the car.
Just as they drove away, Scott came up the hill and shot at the car.
"MOMMMEEEEE!!" Mike yelled terrified.
"You weren't kidding Tom!" Patty said, bewildered.
"Yeah. I can tell... Oh boy.." Sam said.
Patty ripped up to the road and sped to the rectory. They left Scott standing there cursing and shooting after them.
Patty screeched to a stop. "Tom," she said, looking back into the passenger seat.
"Yeh?" replied Sam.
"What are we gonna do? He has keys to every place we own. Tom, I'm scared," replied Patty.
"Well, I'll...uh..oh boy. Tell ya what, go drive to the nearest hotel you can find. Call me. I'll get there as soon as I can," replied Sam.
"Okay." replied Patty.
Sam opened the door, and walked down the long drive.
"Tom??" said Patty, through the open window.
"Yeh?" replied Sam, turning around.
"I'm sorry," replied Patty.
"It’s not your fault! Just go and find a hotel. Scott knows where I work. So you'd be better off away from here," replied Sam.
"Okay, Tom," replied Patty.

Sam walked inside his room. There wasn't much to it. It was furnished pretty simple, and on the desk beside some old papers sat a photo of a woman who looked like Patty, only youner. Just as he sat down on the couch another priest walked in.
"Hello Father Thomas," said the other priest.
"Hello," replied Sam.
"We were wondering if you were going to show up for tonight’s service. I mean, after what has been happening, we weren't too sure about it," said the priest.
Just then Sam heard the Door. It seemed a little muffled. Al walked out of the closet and right through the other priest.
"Oh, um, sorry," mumbled Al. "Okay, Sam, this is, oh-ho-ho get this, Father Samuel. And you can't make it to the service, or Mike and Patty die."
"Um, Father Samuel, I can't make it. There's a man after my wife and son, and I'm afraid for them," replied Sam.
"Okay, Father Thomas. We hope everything goes all right," replied Father Samuel.
"Yeh, me too," replied Sam. "Thank you, Father Samuel."
Father Samuel walked out the door and turned down the hall.
Just then the phone rang. Sam scrambled off the couch to get it. "Hello?" "Pop?" asked a voice, definitely Mike's.
"Yeh, it's me, Mike. You okay in there?" asked Sam.
"Yeh, Mom wants to talk to ya," replied Mike.
"Okay, son," replied Sam.
"Yeh, Tom. Hi, we're doing okay. We're in the McKinley Motel, just off of Main Street. We're in room fif...." started Patty. But Sam didn't hear that last part.
Glass shattered as a man in dark clothes crashed through the window. "Alright, FATHER!" cried an angry voice. It was Scott, and he still had the gun in his hand. He fired at Sam, but Sam managed to roll out of range, barely missing the shot.
"Where's my wife!" cried Scott.
"Look, Scott. If you want---"Scott's shots interrupted him---"Mike then do it legally..." said Sam, dodging the bullets.
"I tried that! It's too slow! Got it! YOU! YOU are the reason I can't have MY kid!" he cried, shooting into the ceiling. "Scott, be rational," said Sam.
Al popped in, and for the third time in a row he yelled, "Holy Caca!!!! What's going on, Sam!!!??!"
"Father Thomas! Father Thomas!!!" cried many voices from the hall.
"Oh, great!" cried Scott. "I'll be back for you later..." Scott's eye caught the piece of paper that Sam had been writing on. "Oh, the McKinley eh? Thank you, Tom!" He burst back through the window and disappeared into the darkness.
"Get up, Sam!!" cried Al.
"I'm trying to AL" Sam said. He was a little dazed. Scott had kicked him when he flew in the window and he was just now feeling the affects after the adrenaline kick wore off.
"Sam... NOW! He is heading over to the hotel!!" Al yelled.
Sam got up and reeled a bit. He finally steadied himself and ran out the door.
"Fr. Thomas!! Do you need... help??" cried Fr. Samuel.
"YES! Call the police! Tell them to get over to the McKinley hotel NOW!" Sam yelled as he ran past.

He arrived at the hotel a second before disaster. Scott had gotten there a split second before Sam. Seems as if he was drunk. Patty was screaming so loud she was heard all through the place. "Where is the Daples-Fenning woman's room located?" he asked the secretary.
"We're sorry... no one of that name here." she replied.
"Um.. do you have anyone who came in tonight with first name Patricia or Patty??" Sam asked.
"Yes. Six." the secretary replied curtly.
"Oh boy... AL??" Sam said exasperated.
"Try Michelle Warner. She disguised her name." Al said.
"Of course... What?" Sam said to the secretary who was looking at him funny. He made a face at her as if SHE were the crazy one and said "Michelle Warner's room please."
"Yes we have that name. Room 56. To the right." she directed.
"Thanks," Sam said as he ran off.

Patty was up against the wall, protecting Mike who was behind her. Scott was calmly talking to her, explaining why he had to kill them all now.
"You betrayed me." he said, with a hint of giggles on his voice. "Now you have to die. That is what must be done!"
"No... you don't... have to do this. If you just... put down the gun, then... well, you can still visit Mike... and.." Patty stuttered, ready to cry.
That was a bad move on her part. She should have fooled Scott into thinking they would stay with him. But now Scott was worked into uncontrollable rage.
"NO! YOU ARE GONNA..." he started, but was interrupted as Sam ran through the door.
"How did you find her??" Sam demanded.
"I followed her. I got here right after she found out her room was ready and when she checked in I followed her to the room. I decided to wait to strike. Going by a different name was genius, Baby." he cooed.
"Don't call me that, Scott!! I thought you were different!!" Patty yelled.
"I thought YOU were different, Baby!" Scott shouted back.
"Me??? I loved you, Scott. Up until all this...this...." she started, not knowing what word to put there in the presence of a priest.
"Caca?" asked Sam.
"Yeh! This caca!" she cried.
"FINE! It just makes me MORE MAD! I'm gonna kill you, I swear. Right, after I kill HIM!" cried Scott, turning and firing. Luckily Sam ducked in time. The bullet, however, went straight through Al.
"Hey, you nozzle!" cried Al. He walked over pretending to punch Scott.
"Look, we can work this out. There has to..." Patty was cut off by another shot.
Sam fell to the ground. He had been shot in the arm. Al ran over to him as if he could really help.
"YOU!!! You... you..." Patty said and began to cry.
"You NOZZLE!" Al shouted, genuinely angry.
But when Scott went over to Sam to see what happened, Sam waited until he bent over to get a better look and kicked him in the groin. He then quickly got up and smashed Scott over the head with a phone.
"Nice work Sam!" Al shouted with a big smile.
"OWWWW" Sam grimaced, clutching his arm. He had just truly felt the pain, now that the danger seemed over.
Patty was crying and hugging Mike, and Al was looking at the handlink.
"Well, Patty and Mike stay with Tom and Scott is put away for life for attempted murder... Looks like you can Leap, Sam!" Al said happily.
Sam looked at Patty and Mike one last time. Patty looked at Sam just as the familiar blue light surrounded him.

Sam felt himself being lifted into the air. High into the air. He looked down to see a giant crowd of people and he heard LOUD music. "Ooooooooh BOY!" yelled Sam, as he felt himself drop.