There was once a guy from Earth names Stan. Stan was from the 20th century. He was about 18 years old and thought he was "all cool and stuff". One day, Stan stumbled upon a transplanetal portal in his parents' swimming pool. He had just gone in for a short dip and the pool began to glow bright white and before he knew it, everything went dark.
He woke up to find himself completely dry and in a large strange meadow. There were all sorts of funny looking plants he'd never seen before, and the whole place had a different feel to it. He didn't know what to think. In fact, he didn't even know where to start! He thought maybe he was in Ireland. He heard that had some big meadows, and none of the plants were familiar to him. Plus, he lived in the city, in the United States, where there was few parks, let alone large peopleless clearings.
He slowly got up and began walking around. It seemed to be night time, and there were two moons shining brightly overhead. However, he didn't think this was strange because he was an idiot. Everyone knew he was. They weren't being mean. He was just a total moron. His mother had once told him to go out and cut the lawn. He was reading one of his favorite comic books, and grudgingly pulled himself from the best part. He groaned when he stepped outside and saw just how great and big the lawn really was.
Actually is was a pretty small lawn as far as lawns go. But Stan had grabbed a pair of his mother's pinking shears. To cut the grass with. Stan's mother thought it was odd. But she knew he was a complete and utter moron so she let him do it. 'What the hell!' she though. 'It keeps his nose out of trouble, and those infernal comics!' In fact, she'd asked him to cut the lawn about 5 months ago, in the beginning of May. It was now the beginning of September, and he'd only done about 1/4 of the whole lawn.
And why, you ask, was he taking a dip in the pool in September? Well, you might think, it was still warm, but that day it was quite blustery. Stan was just plain dumb. His mother told him to take a bath. So he went outside to the pool. With his clothes on, and a bedsheet for a towel. No logic in it at all. Just another dumb idea from the malfunctioning brain of Stan.
At any rate, Stan was now standing in a large strange field, lighted by two large strange moons, and now being approached by some large strange bunnies. He noticed they seemed to be doing something. When they got closer, he realized that something was talking. The bunnies were talking.
They approached him at a leisure pace. They didn't seem scared, as most bunnies would be. Stan immediately bowed down and shouted, "ALL HAIL, THE BUNNY MONARCHS!", embarassing himself immensely.
The bunnies looked down and giggles amongst themselves. "No, no," said the first, "We're not the rulers here". Secretly he was thinking, 'What an idiot!'
The second bunny was still giggling. She had a large moon hat and a poncho type dress. The first, by the way, had no shirt, red pants and a large witch's type hat. The second bunny stopped giggling long enough to say, to the first, "Bunny, a stick guy!"
"Yes, Pansy! I bet Star would be pleased if we took him with us to the castle", Bunny replied.
"Hey!" Stan said. "Am I gonna get to meet the Comic Book Master?"
The Bunnies snickered again. This guy WAS a moron!
"Um, yeh. Come on." Bunny said, holding out a paw.
"Well, I don't want to!" Stan screamed.
The bunnies were confused, but just shrugged and walked away, laughing their heads off. Stan watched them go, glad to have escaped the Comic Book Master. He'd do something nasty for sure! Always trying to mess things up. Just look what he did to Earth!
Just then he realized what the bunnies had said. They had said he was a stick guy. Stan looked at his hands. They were, sure enough, stick hands. Then Stan watched the bunnies walk away. Walk. It wasn't even that they were walking and not hopping. It was the fact that they were walking upright on their hindlegs. Stan, however, didn't seem to think it strange. For some reason, the facts that he was now a stick guy, that 2 large person sized bunnies were walking and talking like persons, and that he was on a strange planet, refused to hit 10 on the strange-scale. In fact, Stan seemed to think this was normal. 'Darn that Comic Book King!' he thought, angrily. He'd really done it this time, that Comic Book King. You see, Stan was a comic book nut, and so stupid he couldn't tell reality from fiction. Of course he was harmless, only a threat to grass, which he evilly chopped to bits weilding the horrid pinking shears. And the grass hated and loathed him for it! They'd get their revenge some day... But for now he was safe from the grass, being on a totally different planet. But Stan didn't know that.
Still wearing his belt that sheathed his pinking shears, he decided to go up against the Comic Book Master, who he believed to be an evil, giant blade of grass. Well, hey, 5 months of cutting grass with pinking shears can really go to one's head, especially one such as Stan. He ran after the bunnies.
"Hey! I can help you defeat the Comic Book Master!" he called.
The bunnies snickered and turned.
"How?" they inquired.
"These magical shears, bestowed upon me by my mother! I shall save Earth from the evil Master's spell!" Stan said, ceremoniously.
The bunnies gawked. What was this Earth? "What is this Earth?" they asked.
"Why, this! Poor beasts! Dillusional!" Stan cried. He was beginning to think himself quite a hero.
"This is FORN!" the bunnies corrected him.
"Porn?" Stan asked. He began to giggle. The bunnies were puzzled.
"No, Forn. FORN."
"Oh, like pornography?" he asked with a big, stupid smile on his face.
"What?"
"Ya know! Pornography.... FORNography... hehe"
"You wanna see the Fornography?" the bunnies asked. They wondered how he knew about THAT.
"What I... no... nevermind. So... this is... Forn?"
"YES!!!!"
"Well, I will defeat the evil grass beast for you anyway!" Stan called. The bunnies began to snicker again and pulled the battle crazed lad along to the castle, to where the ruler of Forn, Star, resided.
"Well, he looks like he's from Earth." Star said. He was not happy. Stick guys could be a danger if they found out how to transport themselves and Fornonians to and from Earth. "We'd better keep him HERE!"
"I'M GONNA SAVE FORN FROM THE GRASS BEAST!" Stan was now screaming ferociously, and waving his pinking shears around, menacingly.
"What on Forn.... ..... Hey, Star..." Bunny whispered to Star. "This guy's clearly an idiot. And you know how Forn is.. if he stays long enough he'll become one of us, and no one will believe him then! So let's get a "grass beast" for him to slay, and he'll slay it and shut up. That way..."
Star got the idea and conjured up a medium sized grass monster. Stan couldn't defeat it. Star sighed and conjured up a small grass monster. Stan STILL couldn't beat it. So Star finally just set him to work on the western pasture. It needed a good cut. Stan went to work, and slowly became a Fornonian. He didn't realize it, being engrossed on cutting the grass with his shears. But before long, he was a full fledged bunny. Bunny and Pansy were outraged, but that was what he was destined to become: the dumbest, crasiest bunny of them all!
Stan lived a long and prosperous grass cutting life on Forn. Since Forn time was 100 years to every one Earth year, he lived to be a very old bunny of 1,005. And although he was still stupid, and still held the title of the most moronic bunny ever to live on Forn, he was the inventor of a crazy, wacky invention called the "lawnmower", which made use of two blades that spun around when the whole contraption was pushed along, therefore cutting any grass in its path in a neat, conformed way...