Guess good ol' Rob Schneider has found himself a new movie career by starring in manufactured, maudlin flicks that are grating on the nerves. What happened...did someone kidnap Adam Sandler from this routine rut of appearing in conveyor belt brainless comedies? Well, we can't dismiss Sandler totally from this painful practice. After all, he wears the hat as Schneider's boss by executive producing this latest vapid vehicle The Animal, an intentionally goofy comedy that has all the aspiration of a whoopie cushion full of needles. Prominently juvenile and unctuous, collaborators Sandler and Schneider follow up this nonsensical offering from their previous effort in the moderately successful sleeper hit Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo from 1999.
Schneider plays Marvin, a nebbish file clerk with tossed about curly brown hair and big round headlight eyeballs that makes him resemble a thin version of rotund comedian Marty Allen. Along with Marvin's misfortune as a wayward wimp in life, he adds another dimension to his bad luck streak when he gets into a car accident. Soon, he is patched up with animal parts from various beasts. So it's safe to say that Marvin is his own poster boy for Wild Kingdom, huh? Schneider's predictable schtick starts to form as his protagonist is controlled by these same random animal functions that guide him erratically like a dysfunctional toy. In a way, his new found animal/human makeup is advantageous because it renders him strength and a sense of confidence. And because Marvin has these creature-like powers, he can realize his dream as a cop. And this unexplainable condition also helps Marvin land a cute girlfriend (reality television's Survivor sweetie Colleen Haskell).
The problem with The Animal is that there is no element of surprise for Schneider's dimwitted antics because we EXPECT his brand of exaggerated foolishness. Director Luke Greenfield adds nothing to a premise that already surrenders itself to the familiar conventions of a snickering, arbitrary farce. To lambaste The Animal for what it represents is a waste of time because it wallows in its wastefulness with shameless glee. Fickle and laden with the formulaic frothiness that both Sandler and Schneider (who incidentally co-wrote this misguided script) specialize in with impish flair, they are peddlers of mindless stupidity that suggests moviegoers want junk food first while dismissing their cinematic veggies.
As long as film fans find the pointless absurdity of Sandler/Schneider comedies a valued treasure, I'm sure the continued adventures of crude humor-oriented, subpar gagfests will be as common as breathing through one's nose. The Animal is a futile sight gag that will no doubt satisfy those who enjoy watching their nonsensical entertaining tastes in a land known as Nitwit Nation.
Frank rates this film: ** stars
