In Loving Memory of Jake Thomas Z.
Our Sweet Baby Angel is
Jake Thomas was born on October 10, 1996. He was so beautiful, strong and healthy. He was a picture perfect baby boy, dark hair and big brown eyes like daddy. We brought him home to his big brother Zachary who was so excited to have a baby brother. If Jake cried, Zack would offer his soother or he would gently rock his baby seat. Daddy called him Tiny Man Jake and I called him Babe. We couldn't be a happier family. Christmas came, and family got together from both sides and were able to meet Jake and spend time with him. Although we didn't know it, Jake was growing weaker. He hadn't been putting on the normal weight that a baby would, and he wasn't nursing as well as he had been. Nights were long with much crying and frustration. Days were peaceful as Jake slept well, and spent a lot of time talking and cooing and giggling and wiggling. The crying became stronger and longer and nursing wasn't going very well. The doctors said he was just fussy and to try a few different things. At yet another doctor's appointment, we were told that Jake should have a few tests, if he didn't gain any weight in two weeks. Just two nights later, I took him to the Emergency Room as he wasn't eating, and was having cold sweats. The doctor checked him out from head to toe, said he was healthy, and to try to give him soy milk, perhaps he was having difficulty with breast milk. We went home to mix up a bottle of formula. Daddy was cuddling Tiny Man Jake as I made the formula, when he noticed that Jake's skin had turned ashen and he wasn't breathing. We began CPR and called the ambulance and waited for what seemed like forever for the paramedics to come. A friend came over to watch Zachary and we rushed back to the hospital. There just happened to be a cardiologist in the hospital, a pediatrician, and two more doctors and nurses. Jake had the best possible team, but they just couldn't bring him back. They tried for over an hour, but God had already taken him up to heaven. Jake had died from a congenital heart defect, present long before birth, and unknown to all of us. Undetectable, this defect caused his heart muscle to deteriorate beyond repair, and we were informed that he wouldn't have been a candidate for heart transplant or any kind of surgery even if we had known from birth. We held our sweet Jake for a very long time. It was so difficult to let him go. He never seemed more beautiful to us than that night.
January 4, 2008 - A new year is here my angel! It has been a long time since you left for heaven but my love for you keeps growing. We had a quiet day, thought about you a lot, as always, and lit a white candle for you beside your angel figurine. Love you so much!
October 10, 2007 - What a beautiful, sunny day for your birthday today my sweet angel! Did you send the sun our way after all this rain? Eleven years ago you were born, what a wonderful day that was! Zachary says "happy birthday to you baby brother!" We love you and miss you so much!
January 4, 2007 - Snow fell again last night but today it is sunny! What a beautiful morning to wake up and remember you, my sweet angel! Zack talks about you more and more now, I know you would have had so much fun together! I know he misses you. Love you so much my son!!!
October 10, 2006 - Happy Birthday my 10-year-old! Today is your "champagne" or "golden" birthday. Ten on the 10th and the tenth month as well! We wrote on balloons for you sweetie and Zack drew a picture of a truck and a happy face, as well as a sad face with tears :( He misses his baby brother a lot and knows you are in heaven. The balloons we sent up this time didn't get stuck! They went straight up, waaaay up til we couldn't see them anymore. We were in our back yard, the birds were singing, and we all sang happy birthday. We love you and miss you soooo much.
January 4, 2006 - Where is the time going, my baby? Today the rain falls but your candle is lit, casting a warm glow. We all thought of you today, as on all days, and miss you terribly. Love you so much!
October 10, 2005 - Happy birthday my sweet baby Jake! Wow, nine! Today we sent balloons up for you, for your birthday, but it was very windy and they became stuck in a talllll tree! I know you can see them just the same. Love you and miss you!
January 4, 2005 - Hi my sweet angel! Thinking of you often today, the anniversary of the day you became an angel. It's a cool, crisp winter day but the sun is shining. Miss you so much! Your candle is burning today in your honour, my baby.
October 10, 2004 - My eight year old! Happy birthday to you my sweet boy! Today we send birthday balloons up for you, our love and wonderful memories with them. Miss you so much, babe.
January 4, 2004 - Another new year is upon us and still the aching in my heart goes on. Never a day, hardly a moment passes without thoughts of you my sweet baby. I light your candle for you today my angel and we remember you always.
October 10, 2003 - Happy Birthday Baby! 7 years! We miss you soooo much! The sun is shining and it is a beautiful warm day. Thinking about you always and especially today with happiness and longing. Love you sooo much babe.
January 4, 2003 - Miss you so much my sweet angel! Christmas was difficult without you once again, but you are in my heart as you always will be. Your candle is lit today and burns with the gentle reminder that you are with us always. Love you so much!
October 10, 2002 - Oh babe, my sweet Jake. Today we should have been having a 6th Birthday party for you! We did celebrate, though, the day that you came to us and brought us so much joy and happiness. Nana, your big brother Zack and I went to the park today and released 4 balloons, they said, "Happy 6th Birthday" on them. The sun was shining and it was a very nice day. I know you are up there now with your Papa and that you are together, as we all will be one day. Love you so much, miss you every minute. ~Mommy
January 4, 2002 - Hi Sweetie! Can you believe that it is 2002? It is a beautiful, sunny, warm day. Your candle is burning beside your picture and all the little angels. Christmas was wonderful though bittersweet without you, but your stocking was there with ours, right where it will always be. The letter I wrote you that first year is still inside. We love you and miss you so much, sweet babe.
October 10, 2001 - Happy Birthday to you sweetheart. Your white peppermint candle is burning today beside your picture. It is lighting up your smiling face for us to see. Although all we need do is close our eyes and we can see you. Always we can feel you in our hearts.
January 4, 2001 - A new year for you sweetie, and you can see it all from where you are. Just know that you are loved and missed and never a day goes by that you are not remembered and longed for. Love you so much!
October 10, 2000 - Happy Birthday baby! Miss you soooo much. Tonight we sent up birthday balloons for you. Zachary sang happy birthday to you, I wonder if you could hear the song... Love you, babe.
January 4, 2000 - Today is your angel day, babe, we lit a white peppermint candle beside your picture today, and thought of you often. Trying hard to remember that you went to a wonderful place called heaven that day, rather than the pain that you had and how sad and angry we were. We love you so much and one day we will be together again, all of us!
December 25, 1999 - Merry Christmas sweetheart! Candles were lit for you today and prayers were said. We had a nice quiet little Christmas and you were in our thoughts constantly. Miss you babe.
October 10, 1999 - Oh Sweetheart, we just miss you so much! Happy Birthday baby! We sent up balloons to you today, your big brother Zack let them go for you. We were in a beautiful park on the side of the river, the weather was really nice. Oh, Jake! You would be three years old today, but you will remain our sweet baby forever! Love you soooo much! - Love Mommy, Daddy and Zachary
March 25, 1999 - Thinking about you so much, miss you lots!! Here's part of a song I like, and I think of you when I hear it...
January 4, 1999 - Our sweet boy, we love you so much. It is hard for us to know that you are gone, but easy for us to remember how beautiful and wonderful you were and will remain that way forever in our hearts.
December 25, 1998 - MERRY CHRISTMAS, OUR DEAR SWEET BOY, WE MISS YOU SO...
October 10, 1998 - Happy Birthday to you Jake! Your second birthday! Even though you are not with us, we still celebrated the day that you came to us! We miss you so much! We sent up some helium balloons to you, we each wrote on the balloons and Zachary sang happy birthday! There was even a rainbow over the lake! We love you Jake!
January 4, 1998 - Jake, the sun is shining this morning on the new fallen snow, it is so beautiful - did you send the snow to us, our winter baby? Daddy, Mommy and Zachary all had some special time this morning with lots of hugs to send your way, can you feel them?
Here is a poem I wrote for you almost a year ago, just for this day. We will light a candle for you today, our sweet baby angel, Jake. We love you.
The glow from the flame is the glow on your face
when you smiled and wiggled,
The light of the flame is the brightness you brought
when you cooed and giggled,
The warmth of the flame is the warmth in our hearts
when we remember you with love,
May the warmth in our hearts float you gently
on your baby angel wings above.
In loving memory of baby Jake Thomas
who got his wings January 4, 1997
Until we meet again... Love Mommy, Daddy and Zachary
He Only Took My Hand
“He Lives In You”
My Heart Will Go On
Angel on my Shoulder
Her voice is soft and gentle, and no one else can hear
When I'm tired and lonely, It's comfort that she brings
When I'm filled with happiness, I hear her laughter ring
My angel's very close to me, I even know her name
And although I cannot see her, I love her just the same
She now has no more suffering, and gone is all the pain
I believe in my heart, we'll someday meet again
An angel's job is taxing, It's as hard as it can be
I hope she doesn't get too tired, looking after me
Yes, my angel's with me, from morning til the night
I know as long as she is here, everything will be alright
So when my days are over, I will not pass in fear
I know my angel's waiting, to lead me home up there.
by Nita Vincent
The Mention Of My Child's Name
God's Child
"For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he's gone.
It may be one or seven years- or twenty-two or three.
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you and should his stay be brief.
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
and from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love and not think the labor vain.
Nor hate me as I come to call to take him back again?
I fancied that I heard you say, "Dear God, Thy will be done.
For all the joy this child shall bring. The risk of grief I'll run".
I'll shelter him with tenderness. I'll love him while I may.
And for the happiness I've known. Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him much sooner than I'd planned.
I'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
Little Angels
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world, seem wonderful and mild
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud, before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be "Goodbye."
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children, Angels are hard to find.
"Author Unknown"
The Compassionate Friends - Reflections on the death of a child
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