I've been on the road to recovery for over 12 years. As a result of living a life of recovery in a 12-step program, I have discovered that recovery from any chronic disease is emotional and spiritual. One day there will be a cure for Multiple Sclerosis. I don't
concern myself with that. All that matters is what is happening today. It has been a wonderful journey that has brought me into contact with other
people who are seeking to recover and live a life that is rich and meaningful.
I have had epilepsy since I was 5 years old, I have had Multiple Sclerosis since 1975, and I am an alcoholic and addict. I have not found it necessary to pick up a drink or drug since 26 November, 1984.
I was in denial that I had MS for 10 years. After I had a year of sobriety, it dawned on me that when 5 out of 6 doctors mentioned MS as a diagnosis, there was something to it! I had changed doctors each time MS was mentioned.
I put a smile on my face and said, "I have MS and it's ok!" But, it wasn't. I hadn't really accepted it. Then, I was hit with a bad exacerbation. My AA sponsor said, "Jill, God has a reason." I looked at her and replied, "If God wants me to be in pain, I don't want Him!" Then, a friend gave me a book: When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner. I began to understand.
Despite that, I became very depressed. I didn't have a support system for MS. I couldn't get out to go to AA meetings. I was virtually unable to pick up the phone. Then, I found out about the MS Society and called them. They had a psychologist in the office in San Diego, where I was living at the time. He helped me to get to the point where I was able to go out and give away what I had gained. Consequently, I became involved with the MS Society in the friendly visitor program and a support group there. I discovered the value of helping others to get out myself. If I have my focus on someone else, I'm not thinking about how bad I feel - and I begin to feel better! The pain actually becomes less. Most important, I feel better emotionally!
I liked the support group so much, when I moved to Cleveland, Ohio, I started a group like it and we called ourselves The Brunch Bunch. They're still going strong on the west side of Cleveland. I'm thinking of starting another one on the east side. I am a peer counselor and am involved in the friendly visitor program. I brought what I learned from the psychologist in San Diego to Cleveland. He said I'd put Cleveland on the map; maybe I will yet!
As I have had to accept that I am an alcoholic, I have had to accept that I have Multiple Sclerosis. Along with acceptance of the disease, I have learned to accept myself with the disease! I discovered that I am still Jill - that didn't change! I am not my diseases. I am what I make of myself. Therefore, I choose to be the best me I can possibly be!
I have learned that I need to do the best I can with what I've got. I have also learned how to live with the disease one day at a time in a 12 step program.
Stick around and see how I and others who are living with these and other diseases have learned to cope!
I've also learned I have to have a good sense of humor and need to find ways to have fun! My mother e asked me how I can keep laughing. I responded that it seems to me that I have two choices: I can laugh and live or I can be miserable and die. My choice is life!
I have started Poets' Corner, a page of poetry by people who have chronic diseases. Have you written poetry you'd like to share? I'd be honored to post it to this site.
I have received a few awards, all of which were a surprise and quite an honor! I took the liberty of creating plaques for them. I do hope those who designed the awards don't take offense. I'd like to share these awards with you!
Would you share your experiences with others? Are you an artist or a musician? May I post your art or a link to your art here? Or, just let me know you were here! Did You Sign My
Guestbook?
View My Recovery Guest Book
Write to me at jocularjill@msn.com.
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