White
Bird In The Moonlit Sky
Author
: hidoko
Web
Site : xzOne
Pairing
: tetsu x hyde
Author's
notes :
- Warning: Yaoi/
Boys' love
- comments please
email hidoko@hotmail.com
- Original chinese
story here
The
deepness of the night was dawning, it was a silent sky;
a dark chasm with few stars glimmering in it. Twinkling,
as if they were joking with him.
How
beautiful.
Without
apprehension, this starry sky slowly disappeared in the
city's noises, and what faced him were unfamilliar crowds.
Standing there, unmoving, in the passing crowds, he, too,
slowly lost his own existence as a person.
Ah,
silence for a while.
Then,
tears fell down drop by drop. "I, I.... I didn't mean it
to be this way!"
No,
he was a guy, he shouldn't cry, no matter how painful it
felt, he shouldn't let it surface. But, even if he had shown
his uttermost feelings, would there be anyone to care? He
had lost that distant night sky, lost those beautiful eyes,
all because of the momentary impulse. 'Yes, it's my fault.
This feeling isn't supposed to have existed anyway."
'Are
we... Still friends?"
'I
didn't mean to spoil this friendship! But I don't have to
apologise. Anyway, anyway if he can kiss me just because
he thinks I am cute, I can do the same!' By thinking this
way, he would have felt better. He did not want to remember
the love which he had felt in that flash of memory, anyway,
anyway... Anyway Tetsu was wrong too! He had let him thought
that he loved him, and because of that, his feelings towards
Tetsu grew little by little, and seemed to have been roused
from the alcohol.
'Yeah,
shouldn't have went with him,' He decided not to think about
that phrase which he had said just now. Yes, it was all
the alcohol's fault! The next day, all he had to say was,
"Ah, I didn't know that happened! Aaa, really? It happened?
Impossible, Tet-chan. You probably drank too much!"
But,
even in his sleep, this memory continued to persue him,
like a cold-blooded hunter who wouldn't give up until he
was broken thoroughly. He saw Tetsu's shadow. He saw Tetsu's
flustered eyes. There was a bit of horror in the confusion.
It was an endles, horrible nightmare. In the dream, he had
become a bird, which had been bloody because of reality's
torture, a bird without its wings. And beloved Tetsu was
slowly disappearing from his sight.
He
had waken from the nightmare again; it had been a few nights
in a row. Tetsu had said, "Since the recording is finished,
let's all take a break and rest for a while..... .."
It
was Ken who had told him. Ever since that celebration party,
Tetsu hadn't talked to him.
"Most
probably because there's nothing to say," A helpless, bitter
smile floated on his face, followed by a vast endless pain.
"Tetsu, I hate you most!"
Unhappily
he looked out of the window at the scenery. He couldn't
stay at home any longer, couldn't be like that, and revel
in sadness! 'Hating Tetsu' has already become a part of
his heart; it had been because of the pain.
Somewhere
outside in the park, there were many many doves flying about.
'I
want to fly, fly towards the endless sky! I want to touch
the blue illusion...!'
Without
Tetsu love, there was no meaning. When his dream had been
shattered, he was like a bird tied to the ground.
When
he returned home, he listened to the different messages
in the answering machine. There was Yuki's and Ken's, and
those from other different people. But there was none from
Tetsu. His fingers slowly crept towards the phone, and dialed
Tetsu's number.
"Hello?"
Tetsu's voice sounded troubled. He slowly put the phone
down, and tears seemed to have found its way down. He dialed
the number again, and once more it was Tetsu's voice. Nothing
was expressed in words; nothing came to his lips, and from
the other side of the line he heard, "Hello? Hello? ......I'm
gonna put down!"
"........Matte."
Stammering words seemed to flow from his inner heart. He
did not know when was the time that his heart knew what
to make him say.
"...
... Hide--"
"Sorry
to bother you."
"Hideto,
I..... ."
"Tet-chan,
I love you." He put down immediately. The tearstained him
fell onto the ground... ... When he was alone, he realized
that he could do what he wanted to. Anything he wanted to.
He picked up a knife. "Tetsu, Tetsu.... This is the first
time I understand what is real love, I've never felt anything
so deep before..."
Red
was the color of blood.
Finally,
he realized that he actually had wings. Spreading those
wings, he let himself fly, towards the endless sky.
***
The
solitary moon hung in the night sky, seeming very lonely.
Tetsu
hesitated for quite some time, and finally gathered enough
courage to press the doorbell. He waited for the door to
open, waited for that beautifully chiselled face to appear
in front of him, to banish his troubles. He waited for the
right moment to express his heartfelt thoughts, to say that
he was sorry, that he had been so stupid as to fear and
doubt his own heart.
And
yet no one opened the door.
He
became worried, and knocked on the door. Maybe Hyde was
still angry with him. Aa! The door was unlocked! He thought,
'this baka is so careless!'
The
house held a scary feeling of emptiness. His hand reached
for the switch and turned on the light.
The
things that happened next to him was total chaos, total
darkness.
Because
when he awoke, he was in front of Hyde's grave. He didn't
cry, probably because the tears had lost their way when
his heart was dead. What only existed was the bouquet which
lay in his hands, the people by his side who were crying.
Ah, everything seemed so empty.
He
went away with the crowd, so as not to let his friends worry.
But, as the night dawned silently on the earth again, he
went back into the cemetery. It had been the same lonely
moonlit sky as before. The few stars in the sky lent a deeper
feeling of sadness instead of the happiness when Hyde was
there.
A
white bird flew down onto the grave; its large eyes seemed
to shine with overflowing pain.
"I'm
sorry, Hyde..." He finally broke down, and flung himself
against the gravestone, tightly hugging his beloved....
..
***
The
feeling of Spring was thin; and there was the rare snow
fluttering down.
"Hyde-chan,
Tet-chan, we're here to visit you. Ano, so how's life over
there?" These were just casual words. Yuki placed the fresh
flowers in front of the two gravestones, and gently heaved
a sigh.
Silence
hung for a while.
"Yuki-chan......
are you cold?"
"No,
not cold," Yuki smiled warmly. Gentle fingers were entwined
with his smaller hands. "Aa.... Hyde-chan, happy birthday!"
Both
of them smiled, and in their eyes, two familliar figures
almost existed right then in front of them. Both of them
were blissful, and happy.
"Hyde-chan
must be very happy this year!"
They
left after some time.
A
white dove was perched on the tree, gazing down from above,
and, another flew from afar towards its lover. It brought
with it a blue ribbon, as if wishing its beloved a happy
birthday.
---------------
Completed ---------------
