This is from my Christmas 1998 Poetry Pals 
Featuring:
David Kelley
James H. John
Bob E. Lewis
David Dill

All poetry on this page is the property of the author!!!!!
Warning!!!
Copyright thieves SHOT!
Suvivors Prosocuted.
 

MY COWBOY’S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
©Copyright: 6/98 AllRights Reserved * David Kelley

 
‘Twas just before Santy came,
the story is told.
Cattle weren't stirrin',fact they's
bunched against the cold.
The tack was hung near the
chuck wagon with care.
Why, we didn't know Santy was
close anywhere.
Cowboys on the ground were
wishin' for their beds
While nightmares of wild steers
ran through their heads.
‘Tween now and the next gather,
we needed a nap.
Cookie had just finished,and
tied down the flap.
When out past the cavvy,there
rose such a fuss,
I sprang to my feet, leavin’
the bedroll a muss,
And grabbin’ my shotgun and 
my ragged ol’ hat
I run t'ward the racket thinkin'
“…what'n thunder's that?”
When thoughts of amazement
through my head courses,
It was a buckboard teamed up
with draft horses,
A driver in red buckskins,so
spry and dainty,
I know’d in an instant, it
must be ol’ Santy.
Quicker than jackrabbits,them
horses they came,
And, he’s shoutin’ commands to
each one by name…
“Get a step, Joe!. One more, Prince!.
On, Big Ed!
Pick it up, Sam! Tightenup, Lou!
On, Old Ned!
Don’t spook the cavvy, back away
from them pens,
You’re a pullin’ this wagon like a
bunch of ol’ hens!
Now, when I haul on these lines
I mean to stop.
Hold up in this cow-camp like a
ton of cow flop!”
They sat down in their riggin’,
like I knew they would,
With a wagon of goodies… made
of leather and wood.
Then, in a twinklin’ with no
further delay,
He said, “Back it up,boys, this
here ain’t no sleigh” .
I couldn’t believe my ears,
and lookin’ around,
Off that wagon ol’ Santy came
with a bound.
He was short, and his chinks
reached near to his toes.
He was happy and fat, with
a little red nose.
There was a ton of packages
and some new tack,
And, ol’ Santy was carryin’ it
all on his back.
His eyes sort of bloodshot,
much like a cherry,
From ‘rastlin’ them horses
clean across the prairie.
His lips was plumb puckered,
his mouth drawn and droll,
(Mine got that way, the day I
swallered my Skoal.)
He was holdin’ a piggin’ string
tight in his teeth,
Not fer’ tie down, but for tyin’
‘up’ a fine wreath.
His head was too big and he
had a round belly,
No doubt derived from eatin’
Texas Chili.
He’s chubby and plump all right,
I’d say quite jolly.
I laughed plumb out loud when
I seen him, by golly.
He winked his bloodshot eye,
and spat ‘tween his lips,
And, it made me to knowwe
were all in the chips.
He weren’t much for chatter,
just done what was due,
Givin’ presents and goodies
to the whole durn crew.
Then, he stuck his fingerin
his wee little ear,
Wallered it around and said,
“We’re through bein’ here”.
He fled to the wagon, and his
team called ‘em up,
“Come on you swaybacks… what’s
the dad-burn holdup?
We won’t be back till next year
‘cause we’re flat broke.
Merry Christmas, my eye,
I just busted a spoke!”


A TALL GRASS PRAIRIE CHRISTMAS

Old Santa could drive any team.
He was better than the best.
But that blizzard ragin'down below
Was puttin him to the test.

You see, snow wasn't exactly fallin'
It was blowin' from left to right.
The wind was whirlin' and swirlin'
On this most special night.

Out here on the prairie
Winter can come and go.
This time it came with a vengence,
We was darn near buried in snow.

Santa was circlin' and circlin',
Goin' round and round and round,
Lookin' for the slightest chance
To get his team of reindeer down.

Cause, pardner, it was Christmas eve.
There was a town down there below
And Santa ain't the kind of guy
To be stopped by a few feet of snow.

He thought he just might be able
To sweep on down closeby.
So he swung his sleighin a sweeping turn
And headed down for a try.

That sleigh bucked and rocked somethin' awful
Santa reined his team to the right
And they fought and fought and struggled
To break through that blowing white.

It turned out they couldn't make it down
And they had to turn away.
But old Santa heard something down below
And knew he didn't need to stay.

It would'a been nice tohave made it down.
But it all had clearly worked out.
Those folks down there in that town below
Knew what Christmas was all about.

You see what Santa heard in that blizzard
Let him know that all would be right,
For he heard those folksa' singin'-----
"Silent night ----- Holynight!
All is calm ------ All is bright!"

And old Santa proclaimed as he rose out of sight,
"Merry Christmas To All On This Most Holy Night!"

Unpublished Work, Copyright1997, James H. John
 

Jefferson's Christmas

Christmas was over
On the Double Horn Spread.
Craig was all tuckered
And ready for bed.

Before he could turn in
On that cold Christmas night
He'd feed all the critters,
An' see all was right.

Down at the stables
Where Jefferson stays,
With his sorrell horse cousins
As well as them bays.

Craig went to Jeff's stall
With alfalfa and feed
When he looked in
There was no sign of the steed.

Jefferson was gone !
On that cold Christmas day.
He'd eaten his oats,
But left all his hay.

That curious young mule
Had escaped from his stall
When he saw Santa,
Them Reindeers and all.

He followed them
The rest of that day.
Just teasin' ol' Rudolph
An' eatin' his hay.

West Texas was cold
The stars shinin' bright
New Mexico and Nevada
Were Christmas Card white.

When Jefferson got to Oregon,
He was plumb tuckered out.
So he ate some more hay
An' turned 'round about.

Then headed for Texas
An' the Double Horn spread
He was thinkin' 'bout alfalfa,
Ad' ol' Craig in bed.

"Where have you been,
You silly ol" mule?
I've worried "bout you
On this day of Yule!"

Of course Jefferson didn't answer.
What could he say?
He knew Craig spoke horse,
But was just learnin' Bray.

So he walked in his stall
And began eatin' that night.
And I swear that he winked
As Craig turned out the light.

David J. Dill
©CopyrightDec. 25,1996

I wrote this poem about Craig Cameron's mule, Jefferson.
Craig Cameron is the world famous horse trainer and teacher.
Jefferson (as in WilliamJefferson Clinton) is Craig's mule
That he was training during a clinic that Craig held in Colorado
Several years ago. This poem was rejected by Western Horseman and Craig
Declined to ask for it to be published in that magazine but I think it
Is worthy of publication here. I hope you like it.
Any artists that would like to take a crack at illustrating it
Are welcome to contact me with their work as I think it would make
A nice Christmas card that might find a market at some future Christmas.
 

'Twas The Night Before (a PoloticallyCorrect) Christmas.

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs,and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerousby the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of  life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose

And had gone on Geraldo,in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeerwere gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group,packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why,he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothingof fur,
Which meant nothing forhim. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls.Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only goodgift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist,and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there,disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty,limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed,a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right
A gift that would satisfy,with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...evenyou.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your lovedones enjoy peace on earth."

Author Unknown
(came in un-solocited e-mail)
 


 

The Cowboy's Christmas Ball

Old Pete got his invitation,
In the mailbox one afternoon,
It told of the annual Christmas Ball,
That would be coming around real soon.

 He really didn't know if he would go or not,
 His best clothes were not very good.
 He dug out his old Sunday hat he would wear,
 It was shaped like an old log of wood.

  These clothes had all been stashed in a box,
  With mothballs packed tight all around.
  He checked to see if he found any holes,
  But luckily none could be found.

   He thought that they smelled kinda raunchy,
   But he guessed he could air them out some..
   He'd hang them all out on that old barbed wire fence,
   Till time for the party would come.

  He forgot about that old jenny,
  That they kept around to halter break colts.
  When he went out one day to gather his clothes,
  What he saw there sure gave him a jolt.

 The jacket was gone except for one sleeve,
 The pants were as bad off it seemed.
 There was nothing left but the pockets,
 It all seemed like a very bad dream.

He glanced out toward a big old shade tree,
Where that jenny was standing alone,
At her feet lay what was left of his hat,
She'd eat it plumb down to the bone.

 Old Pete walked slowly back into the shack,
 He'd have to stay home now this year.
 He'd miss seeing all those pretty little girls,
 But at least he'd have no crowds to fear

Bob E. Lewis
 


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