You want to put me in a cage Because all the world's a stage it's just for an hour or two If I am merely a player I will play my part with great skill and art but I won't be type-cast reduced to a cliche You want a slut, a bitch, a ballerina Not a whole woman Sorry, but myself is the only role I know to play Fulfilling your strange fantasies is not my life's mission I recommend an out-of-work actress A drama major or starving artist Who'll accept your script eagerly And always let you direct be a geisha girl then tie you up, tell you how bad you are and tuck you into bed with a kiss on the forehead Submit Dominate wear the costumes and the masks Just being a person isn't enough for you But it doesn't have to be me Because any girl will do 1998
Anger and sadness rule the day so I bring flowers then take them away Because someone might sneeze in the presence of weeds wasted effort Beauty cannot be seen and does not matter to those who refuse to reach and refuse to be touched by a simple act simple affection that could mean so much I throw my wildflowers into the wind wither, die blow away return to the ground return just as beautiful Be a gift for someone else 1998
Chasing season has returned but it's different this time Those walls are gone Now I can roam anywhere but you're not here I wait in the dusty plains running with the rabid coyotes dreaming of how we might have met wandering through storms we might have chased This was supposed to be the worst season the one that would break my heart the down drafts should have torn us apart but you decided to stay safe, no more running An epic race Erased to dust Can't face the Southwestern wind that makes storms erodes life to bone and dust dries my tears before they fall No tears for me Coyotes cry for no one crying on the empty horizon like my love and the plans we made I came here for a reason to know my love is really gone to feel the energy build and to see if I'm still strong You were supposed to tear me apart like a mighty lightning bolt not fade away, like something that never wanted to be Alone on the dusty plains I look to the dangerous sky and ask Who will run with my wild heart? 1998
You never forget me but things change things happen we never could predict accidents, crashes, falling stars memory does persist but doesn't connect Once intense, so important now familiar, an acquaintance never forget me but I remember the love the love forgotten but never forget me My name My words eternal promises never break but love turns to rust Fade to pain Now you tell me couldn't when you loved me don't reveal so much Now I know too much Hurt too much I can't forget Set me free but remember me Remember me 1998
That dark place wants to hold me No dreams No hope But I always cope even here Don't think Don't write but I'll break free I always do You can't hold me forever In here Silence my words and I'll use my words against you No matter how dark This is my space You can't win Not here 1999
I thought you might be interesting but you already knew it all Who knew Buddha could be so cruel The experiment is over you took what you needed Just enough karma Just enough of me Just enough experience to last a life time So generous, so giving So close to Heaven in your humble mountain home Without an inch to spare for me It's a good thing we're not closer or you'd give in to your intuition Well, I think if we were closer I'd tell you where to go Don't compare your death to mine when my life you do not know I've never met the Dalai Lama but I've heard him speak & read his words if he met you he might say quit talking in riddles stop pretending to be profound your puzzles & vagueness don't impress anyone When you walk your middle path do you stand on a broken yellow line? I'm still standing where the horizon can always be found Those mountains are not Himalayan which is too bad because the lack of oxygen might do you good Hide in mystic pretence the resevoir of empty souls so much to be filled Look through the mask See your experience all that you need to know but don't wait for me we're traveling parallel lines With all my strength and my freewill I'll make sure those lines never intersect 1999
Here's to the cult of lost causes and everything that never came true Here's to the bodies that were buried and the souls that refuse to rest Here's to all things evil keep them alive allow them to thrive Here's to tradition let's celebrate every anachronism no matter how useless no matter how cruel Here's to the cult of magnificent defeats pyric victories and crusades made in vain Here's to a twisted history that wants the past without the pain no chains, no heretics, no plagues Here's to all that has been laid to waste in the name of pretending that immorality is a slight misunderstanding Here's to all that will never be no matter how loud the cheers no matter how high the flags no matter how pious the prayers Here's to glorifying wrongs that were left to die Here's to nostalgia and selective memory Here's to all that will never be 1999
Nothing wants to go my way Here in my darkest Spring The radio is on but the music doesn't soothe irritates the words go unnoticed I wish reality were just a dream a joke that God played on me but each day I awaken and the tragedy replays The days grow longer and warmer but not for me My winter won't retreat The cold and the wind mix with the lyrics Icy songs sing everything I've done wrong words have an empty ring when they tell of everything I miss Please tell me what is meant to be Help me through the pain of this Spring that reminds me of all I lost and all I never had 1999
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Volume VII
