HOME INSURANCE-We give you full destruction coverage!

We at Duey, Cheatem and Howe guarantee coverage to ALL home owners. Here is a rough copy of what our Home Owner's Policy normally looks like.

WE WILL COVER:

* Any house that is less than one story above ground

* Any house that is less than one story below ground

* Any house that is less than fifty feet from our main office

WE WILL NOT COVER:

* Any house that is destroyed by fire, natural disaster or freak accident

* Any house that is destroyed on an odd day or any day that ends in a 2, 4, 6 ,8 or 0.

* Any house with a bathroom larger than the toilet

We feel that this policy is fair and gives everyone and equal opportunity coverage. As with all policies, this policy is NOT NEGOTIABLE.

All policies copyright Duey, Cheatem and Howe, 1998. All rights reserved. Any questions or comments call 1-800-WECHEAT to get a service person to tell you that WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR WHINING! JUST LEAVE US ALONE TO DO WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR!