We here at Duey, Cheatem and Howe guarantee to insure ALL LIVING people. Please do not attempt to get us to insure people who are on their death bed. Even though most people say that the person is still alive we still disagree and besides, we don't like cry babies.
WE WILL COVER:
* Any person that has never consumed alcoholic or nonalcoholic beverages within the time of application or any time after application.
* Any person that is a son or daughter of Andrew Jackson.
WE WILL NOT COVER:
* Any person that has ever caused Duey, Cheatem and Howe a hard time in any way.
* Any person that think the Dallas Cowboys are the greatest team to ever set foot on this earth.
PAY OUT WILL TAKE PLACE:
* When you approach our desk to collect.
PAYOUT WILL NOT TAKE PLACE:
* On any day that is odd or ends in a 2, 4, 6, 8 or 0.
Copyright 1998 Duey, Cheatem and Howe. All Rights Reserved.
Any questions or comments call 1-800-WECHEAT and you will get a recording that tells you WE DON'T WANT OR NEED YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS. LEAVE US ALONE! Don't you understand that we have worked hard and long to make this policy as good as it is?