Feel Good

FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

(Yes, you have your permission!)

This is your FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF passport. It validates your allegiance to yourself. It helps protect you from feelings of inadequacy and inferiority.

This document will be written by your own hands.

Possession of this document will provide you with an immediate awareness of you combined strengths, triumphs, and personal achievements.

Carry this document with you at all time. It will provide you with the strength and comfort in times of stress and trouble.

This Passport is valid for life. Read it daily.

Date of Issuance _______________________

Bearer’s Name and Address____________________________________________
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NOTICE TO PASSPORT HOLDERS

This Passport, issued to all persons regardless of age, race, or creed, will permit the bearer to experience a new sense of self after honestly completing all entry sections.

You will violate the rules governing your Passport if you persist with the following negative attitudes which undermine your FEEL GOOD attitude: An unwillingness to let go of living in the past, habitual self-condemnation and feeling of worthlessness, and professing allegiance to self-pity, pessimism, resentment, and dishonesty.

IMPORTANT!

This section must be completed before your Passport is valid!

Name:_________________________________________Sex_____________________
Birth date________________________Birthplace_______________________________
Height______________Hair Color________________________Color of Eyes_________
Marital Status_________________________Favorite Occupation___________________
Favorite Hobby__________________________________________________________
Name and Ages of Children
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Signature of Bearer_______________________________________________________________

Put your favorite photo of yourself here.

Now, list the reasons why you chose this photo. Determine, for yourself, what is attractive about you. (Be true to yourself!) List the many physical parts of yourself which you proudly accept. Can’t find any? Get the help of a friend.

(Example: I have heavy but shapely thighs, a friendly smile, and a prominent nose that gives me a lot of character.)

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Use another page. You are on a roll! Don’t stop now! :-)

SELF-CONFIDENCE

You do many things WELL! You may take them for granted (and you know others do), so list them all here.

(Example: I run four miles a day, and never miss an outing. I bake breads that melt in the mouth.)

Start writing!

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DO I HAVE FAULTS?

Here, you are going to list your faults.

“A man must have his faults.”—Gaius Petronius

(Example: I may be stubborn, but I am persistent and dependable.) Fill the rest of the page with your faults.

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SENSE-OF-HUMOR

Humor is a vital part of life. It offsets solemn or troubled times. In this section, list some of the past hardships you’ve endured, but can now put into perspective with a touch of laughter.

(Example: I’m better off without my repossessed car. Now the finance company is stuck with a lemon that leaks in the rain, conks out in direct sunlight, and occasionally chases dogs.)

“Merry heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”—Proverbs

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COURAGE

Everyone has moments of personal courage in life but those important events are often forgotten in the passage of time, or because modesty and memories of previous setbacks get in the way. Recalling times of bravery (your first speech in front of a large audience, helping a poor swimmer to safety) reminds you that you are self-reliant and capable of heroic action.

List incidents of personal courage you have experienced, from childhood to the present.

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“There is a proper dignity and proportion to be observed in the performance of every act of life.”—Marcus Aurelius

Choosing to Risk

“Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.”—Herodotus

Risk strengthens. It shows that you have confidence in your judgement and are willing to overcome fear, boredom, or complacency in order to bring about change. Taking a chance implies that your decision to pursue a certain course is rational and that you’re prepared to deal with either failure or success. If you succeed, you will enjoy a new vitality and sense of accomplishment. If you don’t, the experience will strengthen your resolve to risk again because you’ve tested your courage and know you’re able to go on.

List how you have benefited from risks you have taken.

(Example: I was always afraid to travel alone but, after the divorce, I fulfilled lifetime dream and visited Alaska by myself. I have become my own person.)

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PLAY TO WIN

Playing to win can often make the difference between failure and success. It means going after a goal with persistence and the unwavering resolve to succeed. You can become a winner, which is far more rewarding than going through life as a loser, by setting goals and going after them.

List examples of how you “snatched defeat from the jaws of victory”, and indicate how you can avoid similar results in the future.

(Example: I never speak up during my care-receivers doctors’ appointments. I never know what was going on in the ‘well-health’ department. I will ask questions, expect clear and concise answers. If I don’t receive them, I will ask the same question in different ways until I get a clear, concise answer.)

(Example: I never spoke up during employee brain-storming because I felt that no one would be interested in what I have to say, but my holding back may have kept me from being recognized by my boss. Now I realize that being able to present my ideas well is part of winning on the job, if I want to be promoted.)

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“In the long run men hit only what they aim at.”—Henry David Thoreau

“You don’t learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but be attacking and getting well hammered yourself.”—George Bernard Shaw

POWER OF FAILURE

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."-Helen Keller

Failure is a teacher and can be the source of much personal growth. Experiencing failure-and learning to judge your own capabilities-demonstrates that you have the strength to accept life’s challenges. Never condemn yourself for not succeeding. That’s not fair to you.

List how past failures led to new achievements.

(Example: I tried many times without success to break the cigarette habit on my own, but I finally realized I couldn’t do it alone and signed up for a stop-smoking workshop. I haven’t smoked for six months and I can now taste food.)

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"A minute’s success pays for the failure of years.”—Robert Browning

RESENTMENTS? YOU BET!

Relinquish your resentments. They’re unhappy memories of past experiences that once crossed your life. Letting go of resentments releases you from the mental imprisonment of reliving yesterday’s troubles. (You don’t have the time to exact revenge, anyway.) Freeing yourself from resentments creates a new blueprint for present-day happiness and a chance to go for the gold!

List how resentment has trapped you in the ‘past’ and why you won’t let it happen again.

(Example: I resented being poor and having to work my way through school. My constant bitterness only made me feel worse. If I finally let go of hating the past, I can be free to enjoy my present.)

(Example: I resented being the ‘do-all’ in the family. The whole bunch was taking me for granted by imposing on my time for myself. I even allowed this to happen. I finally learned to say ‘NO!' and found the lock on the bathroom door. I now have time to think my own thoughts, alone, and have decided I have been doing something right for my family to feel they constantly need me. All that is left for me to do is teach them that they CAN do for themselves.)

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Use another page. Get all the resentment out of your system.

“Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.”—Christina Georgina Rossetti

I’M MY OWN BEST FRIEND

You have a friend for life--yourself!! Friendships provide comfort and strength and must be nourished with gentle deeds and loving actions.

List the steps you have taken to become your own best friend.

(Example: I signed up for the French class today. I wanted to take the course for the last three years. Then as a reward I made plans for a two-week vacation.) (OK, I know I’m stretching it a bit, but you get the idea.)

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“No one can harm the man who does himself no wrong.”—St. John Chrysotom

RESPECT
(You are not Rodney Dangerfield)

A FEEL GOOD builder is to admire, respect, and appreciate the uniqueness of other people. No two people are alike.

List some of the original qualities of other people and why you admire them.

(Example: My mother is a remarkable cook. My best friend is a truly witty conversationalist.

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“We can help one another find out the meaning of life…But in the last analysis, each is responsible for ‘finding himself’.”—Thomas Merton

FOREVER YOUNG

Thoughts, attitudes, and actions, not the actual passage of time, determine old age. Resistance to growth and new ideas saps the life force. Rigid thinking blocks self-renewal. Hope and anticipation are two factors which help keep you eternally young.

List the actions you have take to remain forever young.

(Example: I study dance twice a week in a studio full of students fifteen yours my junior.)

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"We do not count a man’s years until he has nothing else to count.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

YOUR UNIQUENESS

You’re an original. There’s no other person in the world like you. That’s why you are irreplaceable.

List the traits that make you unique.

(Example: I don’t have a selfish bone in my body. I really can make people laugh and enjoy themselves.)

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Continue on the next page.

"Remember that the value of a man is not measured by what he has, but by what he is.”—Pope John Paul II

GUILT
(Guilty of what?)

There’s no need to punish yourself for past mistakes by feeling guilty. There is life without guilt. It means learning from your past mistakes, not condemning yourself for them. (AND, not allowing others to put a ‘guilt trip’ on you for being human.)

List your guilt-producing experiences and how you choose to eliminate them from your FEEL GOOD inventory.

(Example: I once felt badly that I moved away from my parents’ hometown. But now I’ve made a new life for myself and they’re proud of me.)

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“The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as the greatest virtues.”—Rene Descartes

Now that you have honestly answered all the preceding entries, you have living proof, authored by your own hand, that you’re a very special and accomplished person.

The process doesn’t end with the completion of this document. Your newly discovered traits must be affirmed in your own mind, just like learning the alphabet as a youngster, to ensure their continuance.

Memorize, repeat, and internalize your attributes until they become part of your consciousness.

“I am larger, better than I thought. I did not know that I held so much goodness.”—Walt Whitman

“As a man thinketh, so is he, and as a man chooseth, so is he and so is nature.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The next thing most like living one’s life over again seems to be a recollection of that life, and to make that recollection as durable as possible by putting it down in writing.”—Benjamin Franklin

If you have read this far, your are most probably asking yourself one of two questions;

1. Where does she get off telling me how to FEEL GOOD about myself and my life?

I put myself through this same test and made the lists several years ago. I had to force myself to take a critical look at myself and realize I needed to talk to myself like a ‘dutch uncle’. I am NOT a slave to be controlled by others. I CAN make the best of a bad situation. I AM strong enough to catch the curve balls life throws at me. I AM smart enough to know I need all the support I can get. I DO admit I don’t have all the answers. I am NOT afraid to ask questions. I learned I HAVE to step aside and let others handle the things I am not equipped, or smart enough, or emotionally capable, to deal with. And, I can look really nice when I want to (I prefer to wear sweats or shorts; comfort clothes. I consider jeans dressy for most occasions).

2. Why was this not made public years ago when I first needed it?

It was, if anyone had bothered to tell you it was out there somewhere. I found it while I was looking for much needed employment. I couldn’t find a job anywhere. I was my own worse enemy in an interview situation. (I am not good with words in stressful situations. I always manage to say the wrong thing.) I’m not sure the organization I received this information from is still in business. In fact, it probably has another name by now, something like “support group’.

THINGS TO DO TO HELP YOU FEEL GOOD

1. Stand straight and tall. (Makes breathing easier.)
2. Celebrate an achievement. (You made it through one more day.)
3. Make an ‘I’m great’ list. (Yeah, right! I’m great, but I don’t have time for lists.)
4. Put things in perspective. (You do have time for lists.)
5. Enjoy the present. (It is a gift from GOD.)
6. Surround yourself with true friends. (Real friends don’t cut you down.)
7. Ask others for advice. (Someone else has ‘been there, done that’.)
8. Think positive. (No, not ‘positive you’re going to have a bad day’.)
9. Find a mentor. (Aren’t computers wonderful things? A mentor is only an email away.)
10. Relax. (Stop. Close your eyes. Take deep breaths. Count to ten. Repeat as needed.)

Above all, listen to your heart. Repeat ‘I am good and have lots to offer. What I have to offer, you need’. You are right! I do need what you have to offer and I’m waiting impatiently for the information. But, most of all, I need your support. And, I am here for you.

Smile.

Pasting a smile on your face fools the brain into thinking it has done something really good. ?

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