13 Things Your Vet Does Not Want to Hear
13. He's a Friesian? Good heavens, Doctor, I thought you said to freeze him!
12. I know it's the middle of the night on a holiday, Doctor, but there's been an unfortunate accident with a sleigh, and a fat guy in red pajamas wants you to bring forceps to remove a few sleigh bells from some reindeer.
11. Bad news, Doc. Brownie got into the rose garden again, and I think he has aphids.
10. Hi, Dr. Belfry! My ACME mail-order Dressage Pony has just arrived! Can you come over and help me assemble him? I've tried, but I have some parts left over. Just how important is a spleen, anyway?
9. Hey, Dr. Smith...is it bad when your horse floats upside-down in his tank?
8. $400 for x-rays? Are you nuts? Next time I need a horse x-rayed, I'll just holler for Superman and tell him the horse swallowed my wedding ring, thank-you-very-much!
7. I really think you should geld my horse now, Doctor.I can't keep paying for all his calls to those 900 numbers!
6. Yes, that's right. Just leave a message from the villagers: we think Frakenstein Farm had a small, uh, mishap in the lab again. We'd like Dr. White to bring some large neck bolts and a torch at his earliest convenience. Thank you.
5. Old Blue? Gingivitis? But I give him gum after every meal!
4. Of course I can handle a stallion. Just explain again how you tell a boy horsie from a girl horsie, ok?
3. You said my horse should have a better coat...well, I just bought Honeygirl a London Fog Deluxe Overcoat, and not only does it fit funny, but she still looks sick!
2. I've been reading some natural childbirth books, and I want my mare to give birth the nature intended...under water.
And the number one thing your vet does not want to hear: I don't mean to complain, Dr. Jones, but my horse's glass eye keeps popping out when he jumps.
