I FOUND MY FAMILY!!!
I had decided that I was going to give searching for my birthfather another shot. I had been putting more energy into my search lately, and I found that my birthfather was born in 1949, in New York City. So, taking a gamble, figuring he must still have relatives in the City, Mike took over at my request, because I was just too afraid to start the calls myself. I gave him all the listed numbers of Mariuses I could find in New York, and there weren't many. As Mike started going through the list, calling each number, I listened to him give the typical
"genealogical research" story. Time and time again, I heard the "No? Well thank you anyway, and have a good evening." Click. Until he reached a guy who claimed to have a nephew named Gary, but not Garrison, born in 1949 in New York. Unfortunately, he had passed in 1985. But we should call Gary's father, out in Fresno, and speak to him. I held my breath as Mike dialed the number. My eyes grew wide as I just, as most adoptees, "knew"... As soon as Mike mentioned my birth-given name, Blue Marius, the interrogation switched from Mike asking the questions to this Dr. Marius asking the questions. Where was I born? What date? Who was my mother? How old was I? Where was I adopted? Who adopted me? etc., etc., etc. He told Mike that he would call his daughter in New York and give her the information, then Mike passed the phone to me. I was, needless to say, shaking uncontrollably. I had no idea what to say, and now, looking back, I can barely remember what was said. He sounded then as if he wasn't sure if I was indeed his long-lost granddaughter. So he asked me a few questions, and told me I'd hear back.
That probably had to be the most nerve-wracking week of my life. When should I call back? How long should I wait? I pestered Mike over and over again with question after question. Easter night was when the call came. I was doing dishes, Mike was vaccuuming, and the phone rang. Mike handed it to me, saying it was "some woman". That woman, turned out to be my birthfather's sister, April!! I HAD FOUND MY BIRTHFATHER'S FAMILY!!!
My "Aunt April" and I spoke for hours and hours, putting small pieces of the puzzle together. Strangely enough, I wasn't as upset as I thought I was over
my father's passing
, because somehow, deep down, I "knew"... I guess it was that adoptee thing again. April and I had so much in common, even the same voice!!! Turns out I found out a lot of why I was who I was, and why I did certain things I did. I can't begin to describe what this means, except to those who have found. You know what I'm talking about. There's nothing like going through life, not knowing where you came from, not knowing why you write left-handed, or why you can only sing certain notes, or why a certain art strikes you so proundly, or why you have the pet peeves and quirks you have. I've spoken to my grandfather, my grandmother, my aunt, and my great-uncle briefly, and I recently just reunited with them in Long Island.
Click here to read about it.
My story is simply one of hundreds of thousands, and I truly wish the best to all of you out there searching.. keep it up, it's worth more than words can ever say. I don't think any adoptee can truly be at peace until you make that conenction with your blood. It's something that defies science, and defies explanation, and those of us who aren't able to experience it growing up feel it much more keenly than those that do. The moral of my story, for those of you that aren't adopted,... is, don't take it for granted, because one day you won't have it. Cherish that bond for what it is, because it's part of what life is all about.
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Adoptee Identity Crisis
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