Heaven is such a beautiful place from what I have been told. But I can't help but miss you so. There are also times when I remember the horrible circumstances under which you left.

The date is Friday June 30th, 1988. It is evening time, and you are not feeling well. I ask if you would like to go to the hospital, and you say no...that you would be ok.

Saturday, the next day. It is about two thirty in the morning. I hear a terrible thud on the kitchen floor and rush to find... Oh My God! Mama, you are lying on the floor, moaning and so helpless. I dial for help and about ten minutes later, the ambulance is here.

The men attend to you and after awhile, they take you in the ambulance to the hospital.

When I get there, I see you laying there so still and with tubes and bottles attached. The doctor tells me the sad news ...You have had a stroke!

Later that day, you are transferred to another hospital where for the next 51 weeks, 358 days you would stay.

Your stay would not be an easy one. You are comatose and semi-comatose while there, and you would be rushed to intensive care five, or was it six or more times.

I tried to vist you each day. Do you remember, Mom? At times,your eyes looked at me and you had a faint little smile on your face. I talked with you and held your hand...DO YOU REMEMBER MOM? PLEASE SAY YOU REMEMBER!

One time I knelt by your bed, held your hand, closed my eyes and prayed for a miracle. I prayed and prayed that you would open your eyes and tell me everything was going to be alright. That you would squeeze my hand and give me a great big smile.

I opened my eyes and found you in the same state. You cannot imagine how crushed I was that day. I left knowing you would never return to your beloved home, or to me.

How you suffered Mom, while you were there. You certainly didn't deserve to go through all that. There have been countless times I have asked myself "WHY" and have yet to find an answer. Perhaps one day I will.


Saturday June 24th, 1989. It is about two forty am.The phone rings and when I answer, it is the doctor at the hospital. I already know what he will say and as I listen, I hear his voice. "Mr. Rusin, I have some sad news for you. Your Mother just passed away."





Those horrible words.....the words I kept telling myself I would never have to hear......the words that shocked me so and changed my life forever..... "Your Mother just passed away!"





A few days later on Tuesday, you were laid to rest. So many people came to pay respect to you. You were so well loved by so many, Mom. It was a gorgeous sunny day...a beautiful day to go to Heaven and be with The Lord. That evening a gentle rain was falling. The angels sheding tears of joy that you are with them. I am crying to, Mom. Please forgive me, but my tears are not those of joy. They are of grief and sadness and loss!