My garden is a Black Hole. Its name is Gordon the Garden. I pour money into it. Lotsa weeds grow there. Sometimes I can pick something edible out of it. Well, sorta edible, maybe.

Why do we plant our gardens in rows? Because some Englishman named Jethro Tull said to plant our gardens in rows back in 1731. So what does Jethro Tull know, anyhow? Well, he visited some vineyards in France and saw grape vines planted in rows so that the supervisor could look down the rows and see if any of the grape pickers were loafing. Then he visited some plantations in the American colonies and saw tobacco and cotton planted in rows so that the overseer could look down the rows and see if any of the slaves were loafing. So we plant our gardens in rows because we're a buncha slaves to what some ancient old fudd told us and he's been dead for years. In fact, everybody who gardened in 1731 is now dead. Musta been a bad year for gardening.

Well, I don't plant my garden in rows and I don't think my plants care. Hey folks, America's a free country and we can plant our gardens any way we jolly please! We can even plant stuff upside down if we want to! I'm trying to figure out how to plant potatoes upside down so I can pick them instead of digging them. So far, it doesn't seem to be working but I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.

Gardening's lotsa fun. It's a great excuse to play in the dirt. And oh by the way, sometime just stroll round and about your garden munching on whatever's there. You'll probably soon find out why critters of "lesser intelligence" just stroll round and about gardens munching on whatever's there.

My garden is laid out in 3 sections. 3 is a prime number. The south section has 23 plots. The west section has 17 plots. The northeast section has 19 plots. 23, 17, and 19 are prime numbers. That's a total of 59 plots, which is a prime number. Prime numbers are magic in gardening. Hey, don't ask me why they're magic, they just are!

(Psst... I've got a dirty little secret. Promise you won't tell anybody? Due to a slight reorganization, the south section now actually has 24 plots, for a total of 60. But that messes up my prime number gimmick, so please don't blab. Okay?)

Planting vegetables
Growing vegetables
Picking vegetables
Cooking vegetables
Eating vegetables
Fun with vegetables
Having the hots for vegetables