Growing Up On CU
Some random anonymous thoughts...
posted with permission and the
hopes that it will help you feel less alone
I tend to isolate myself and
not let anyone inside unless I see a person, one that I will view so very
differently from the rest and there I may open up, let down of a few walls
on CU. A two-dimensional personality is what CU appears to be for most
people, a quick "fix" if you are in need of a sexual satisfaction but
masturbating looking at pictures or just using your mind doesn't seem to
really work anymore. In a way, CU may become a bottle of alcohol, in need
of a more potent fix each day, each month, seeing a total stranger naked just
doesn't do it for the person anymore. In a way, for some CU is mostly
laughter, superficiality, emotions, if too deep or too complex tend to
"stray" the group off of its common desire: entertainment. To even want to
let others see you cry, people you've never seen before is quite a feat.
But, if you start crying in a theatre, chances are most people will
"shhhh" you so you'll either "buck up" or "get out". You find yourself
wanting to be human or humanistic, you desire contact but how close can
contact be when your friendship goes through a wire and comes out as pixels
on the other person's screen?
CU is a world, a universe on its own. CU is exactly real life, CU is
bad and is good. CU is everything and is nothing. If you see a child born
on CU, or a baby, you are amazed. But then you think about it, you wonder
"what if this child grows up on CU?" is this something you really look
forward too? It does scare me, the thought of it, the thought of a 10 year
old boy, girl being enticed by older men wanting nothing else but to "extend
their quick fix". After all, this 2 dimensional world is just that for
some, a sort of open multimedia porn book. Each day a new page is written,
one you may not agree at all with, a page you may actually fear. Because
you see, outside if someone "flashes" a 10 year old kid and he gets caught,
the law takes over from there. But "inside" CU, everybody flashes everyone,
whether be their personality (aggressive, mild, positive, negative, the
whole salad of human behavior) or their genitals. Sex for free, the 60's
again, this time there is no responsibilities at all because once you have
turned off the computer, that's it. What you have done, you live with it
until the next time where you might do it again. As I said before, is CU
good or bad, is it both or more of one and less of the other? I really
don't know, all I really know is that for almost 5 years spent on this
medium of communication I think I have changed and I think I haven't changed
at all. I think CU brought some aspects of me out, the shy person out and
transformed it in a more confident person. Before CU I was a very sexual
person, a very liberal person as far as I see sex in my life. Making love
to a woman, with another man at the same time, that happened long before CU.
Once I got on CU, I saw that the world was much more liberal then I first
thought it was but then I got to see that reality shows you that between CU
and the real world there is a (pardon the pun) world of difference. In the
real world, people do not express their sexuality so openly, so forwardly.
In the real world, we tend to mask ourselves, to mask these "hidden desires"
we all have but we may never express. CU becomes a wonderful way of letting
go of these desires, letting them free and see if they can take a life of
their own. You may realize that you are not the only person in the world
that loves to do "this", "that" for so many other people will express the
same sexual desires as you. There, in the CU world. Sex has a form of
communication, isn't that something that a psychologist would say is a
terrible mistake to make? CU isn't sex only, but sex is the main factor by
which CU grows. And sex is people, and people grown. So you see, I have
grown over the years, grown on CU.
March 1999
