"Piece Of Mind" Gap-Filler
By: Lori (SixteenOzs)

DISCLAIMER: "ER," the characters and situations depicted within are the property of Warner Brothers Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant c Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. The stories presented here is written solely for entertainment purposes, and the author is not making a profit.

SUMMARY: Continuation of "Piece Of Mind." This piece begins as Mark returns from the bathroom, with Elizabeth's assistance.

Feedback is welcome. Please send all questions, comments or criticisms to SixteenOzs02@yahoo.com

RATING: PG

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: I would like to thank Jen, Ros, Cari and Alicia for all of their help in looking over the drafts of this story and giving me such great feedback. Thank you all so much!

Mark sighed heavily as he carefully eased himself back into the hospital bed.

Noticing this, Elizabeth quickly asked, "You okay?"

"Just tired."

"Here, let me adjust your pillow," she said, motioning for him to move forward a bit. "Can I get you anything? Water? A blanket? You've been cold all day. I should get you a blanket. Let me go and get one from the nurse."

"Elizabeth!" he finally exclaimed, reaching for her arm. "I'm fine. All I need is for you to stop fussing over me."

She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"It's okay," he assured her with a smile. Noticing that she, too, looked tired, he suggested, "Why don't you go back to the hotel, take a shower, get some sleep?

"No," she replied quickly. "I'm staying right here with you."

"Elizabeth," he sighed, "you're not going to get any rest here. They're going to be in and out all night, changing IVs, give me meds, checking my vitals. The usual."

"Mark, I'm not leaving," she said, her voice soft but firm. The memories of the seizure and his altered status from the steroids were still very clear in her mind. She had to believe that her presence made a difference then, and she wasn't about to leave him now.

"You can be so damn stubborn at times," he muttered under his breath.

She laughed as she watched him. "Oh, yeah? Well, so can you!"

"Then I guess that makes us a perfect match," he concluded with a smile.

"Yes, it does," she smiled softly.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to go back to the hotel?" He had to try one more time.

"I'm positive. Besides, we've slept in the same bed every night since you got back from San Diego in May," she reminded him. "I'm not going to break that streak now."

Carefully sliding over in the bed, he grinned as he said, "In that case, get over here."

She laughed as she sat down next to him. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," he assured her as he reached for her hand.

A contented sigh passed through her lips as she rested her cheek against his shoulder.

A nurse entered the room a few moments later. "Okay, Dr. Greene. Time to take out that Foley."

Mark laughed. "Sorry, you're too late. I've beaten you too it."

"Excuse me?"

"The Foley's out," Mark stated simply.

"Did another nurse already come in?" she questioned in confusion as she flipped through papers. "There's no notation here on the chart."

Elizabeth drew in a deep breath and glared at Mark out of the corner of her eye. When he asked her to take out the catheter, she knew it wasn't a good idea.

"No, I took it out myself. I got tired of waiting," he replied evenly.

Elizabeth turned sharply so she could see him better, a questioning look in her eyes. They both knew he wasn't the one who took out the Foley. So why was he lying about it to the nurse? She was about to correct him and admit that she did it, but the light pressure on her hand made her stop.

"You removed the catheter yourself?" the nurse asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

The nurse stared at him sternly. "I know you're a doctor in Chicago, but in this hospital, you're a patient. And patients don't perform procedures."

Mark scoffed, "I really don't see what the big deal is. Dr. Burke wrote the order to have the Foley removed. I waited over three hours, no one bothered to do it, so I did it myself. If you want me to sign something saying I did it AMA, fine. I will."

The nurse sighed as she made a few notations on his chart. "Have you been up?"

"I walked to the bathroom and back."

"Was someone with you?"

Elizabeth stole a quick glance at Mark, then said, "Yes, I was."

"Any dizziness?" the nurse questioned.

"No," Mark shrugged. "My balance was just a little off at first, but otherwise I was fine."

After making additional notations, the nurse looked back to Mark, "Do you need anything else?"

"Not right now."

After checking his IV, the nurse commented, "I'll be back in about an hour to hang a new IV and check your vitals. Think you can keep the IV in that long?"

"I'll try," Mark retorted sarcastically.

With huff, the nurse turned and left the room.

"What was that all about?" Elizabeth questioned.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"You know EXACTLY what I mean. Why did you lie to her about who took out the catheter?"

He drew in a deep breath. "Because if I did it myself, it's not considered 'practicing medicine.'"

"Which I'm not licensed to do in the state of New York," she finished for him with a sigh.

"You were doing me a favor, one I greatly appreciate. I'm not going to let you get in trouble for that, especially since it's not even something worth getting in trouble for in the first place," he assured her firmly.

A long moment passed before she quietly said, "I'm getting pretty good at lying to keep myself out of trouble."

"You didn't lie about this," he pointed out. "I did, and I'd do it again."

"But I didn't tell the truth either," she argued.

He watched her for a moment, then said, "We both know this isn't about who took out the Foley. You thinking about the malpractice suit?"

"Something to look forward to when I get back to Chicago," she retorted sarcastically.

"Elizabeth, you are going to get through this. I promise you that."

"It's funny how we can each have much more faith in the other than we do in ourselves," she said with a weak laugh; thinking of how she'd been so convinced that he'd make it through the surgery, and now he was convinced she would get through the trial.

"That's why we're good for each other," he said simply.

"That we are," she whispered, just before brushing her lips against his.

Reaching over, he gently caressed her cheek. "I love you, Elizabeth."

"I love you, too," she whispered. After watching him for a moment, she wondered, "Do you remember anything that happened during the surgery?"

He rested his head against the pillow and tried to think of anything he might be able to recall. With a shrug, he answered, "Like I said, the only thing I really remember was talking about the baby. You've asked me that twice now. Is there something I should be remembering?"

Looking down at their intertwine hands, she quietly said, "You, um, you had a seizure while Dr. Burke was mapping Broca's."

He drew in a deep breath. Obviously, there was quite a bit he didn't remember. "What happened?"

"Burke said it was caused by the electronic stimulation. They used saline to cool the brain and Propofol. They couldn't give you Ativan because you needed to be awake and alert for the surgery. You were out of it for about thirty minutes, so Burke suggested closing up and coming back in a few days. I said something like, 'A few days?! You just opened his skull!' It was the strangest thing, because as soon as I said that, I heard your voice. You were back, asking us what was going on." She paused, then admitted, "I suppose I just wanted to know if remembered that."

He thought for a moment, then shook his head. "Not really, but I always knew you were there. What made you change your mind about being in the OR?"

She laughed. "I'm a surgeon, Mark, I couldn't stay out of an OR even if I tried."

"Is that the only reason?"

"No," she whispered. "I knew you needed me."

"Thank you."

She shook her head. "You don't have to thank me. We're in this together, remember?"

"I remember," he assured her with a smile.

"So, you think we're going to have a boy?"

"Maybe," he grinned. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I'd be happy with a boy or girl."

"Have any ideas for names?"

She laughed. "You seemed to have quite a few this afternoon."

"And I don't recall you being exactly thrilled about any of them," he pointed out.

"Jésus?" she reminded him with a wary look.

"I was drugged," he countered.

She chuckled, then suggested, "How about this? We go through the alphabet, and each say one name we like that starts with each letter. We'll stop if we get to something we like."

"Okay," he nodded, "I'll go first… Alexander?"

"We're still assuming it's a boy?" she questioned with a smile. "Okay, um, Andrew?"

"B… Bradley?"

"You must really like that one," she remarked. "You mentioned it earlier, too. Bailey?"

"Christopher?"

Deciding to tease him a bit, she suggested, "Craig?"

"That is NOT funny, Elizabeth. Not funny at all," he said flatly.

"You mean to tell me you don't find it even the slightest bit amusing?" she grinned.

"No," he said with a glare. "And moving right along, Daniel?"

"David?" she smiled softly.

He watched her for a moment, before he finally wondered, "After my father?"

"Of course," she nodded. "What do you think?"

He considered it, then smiled. "I like it."

"So do I."

"What about Charles for a middle name?" he offered. "That way, his name would come from both his grandfathers."

"David Charles Greene. I like it, and my father will love it," she said with a chuckle.

"So, have we decided?" he wondered.

"I think so, but we still have a few months if we change our minds."

"Sounds good to me," he smiled as he closed his eyes for a moment.

"You look tired, you should get some sleep," she recommended. "It's after one o'clock."

"Only if you do the same," he countered as he opened his eyes.

"Deal," she said as she kissed him gently. "'Night, Mark."

"Goodnight, Elizabeth."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and she shifted slightly so that she could rest her head on his shoulder.

For the second night in a row, he watched as she drifted off to sleep, as the tension slowly vanished from her face and he felt her body relax next to his. He was lucky, far luckier than he ever thought he deserved to be, and he knew it. In all his life, he'd never known a love like what he felt for her.

He'd been working at County for the last eleven years. Death and dying were things he had to deal with almost every day, and he was fairly confident that he'd come to terms with that early on in his career. There was no way he could have survived this long if he hadn't.

So he was pretty sure that it wasn't the thought of dying that had him terrified ever since he'd found out about the tumor. It was the thought of losing Elizabeth, of not having her love in his life, of leaving her alone with the responsibility of raising their child.

But he wasn't going to think about that. The surgery was successful, the tumor was removed and the chemotherapy wafers implanted. For what was probably the first time since this whole thing started, he truly believed that he would beat it. He had to, for Elizabeth and for the child she was carrying.

Lightly tracing an imaginary line along her jaw, he just smiled as he watched her sleep. He wasn't sure how much time passed before he saw the nurse enter the room from the corner of his eye. Looking a bit closer, he was relieved to see that it wasn't the same nurse who had come in earlier about the catheter.

"Hi," the nurse said softly, noticing that Elizabeth was asleep. "My name is Claudia. I'm going to be your nurse tonight."

"Nice to meet you," Mark smiled.

"How are you feeling?" she inquired as she began to check his vital signs.

"I'm fine."

"Dr. Burke didn't leave an order, but if you're having trouble sleeping, I'll see if I can have the on-call physician prescribe something for you," Claudia offered.

"That's okay, I don't need anything," he assured her. "I was just thinking."

"Well, let me know if you change your mind," Claudia said as she changed his IV.

"Sure," Mark nodded. Nodding towards Elizabeth, he said, "I would appreciate it if you could get us another blanket."

"No problem," Claudia smiled before walking over to closet and removing a blanket from the top shelf. Returning to the bed, she covered them both with it. "Just buzz me if you need anything else."

"Thanks," Mark nodded as she left.

Shifting into a slightly more comfortable position, he gently kissed Elizabeth on the forehead. He was still smiling as he closed his eyes and allowed the exhaustion he was feeling to take over.

Mark stirred the next morning as he felt a slight pressure on his right arm. Without opening his eyes, he murmured, "Elizabeth?"

"She went to the ladies' room to freshen up," an unfamiliar female voice said from above him.

He opened his eyes slowly and tried to focus through the fog that seemed to surround him. Blinking several times, he looked around them room, finally remembering where he was. Glancing to his right, he saw the same nurse that came in the previous night, just before he fell asleep. She was now taking his blood pressure.

What was her name again? He thought it started with a "C." Carolyn? Catherine? Claudia? Yeah, Claudia sounded right.

"'Morning," he said sleepily. He reached for his glasses, then checked the nurse's hospital identification badge. Claudia Pearson. Apparently he wasn't as oblivious as he thought he was the night before.

Brightly, Claudia replied, "Good morning."

"What time is it?"

"Quarter 'til seven," she answered as she removed the blood pressure cuff and made a notation on his chart. "How are you feeling?"

Coughing softly, he wondered, "Can you ask me again after I've had some coffee?"

"Spoken like a true doctor," Claudia laughed. "Any pain, numbness, weakness, dizziness?"

Mark slowly stretched his body before he said, "No, everything seems fine."

"I thought you were giving up coffee since I can't have any?" Elizabeth questioned with a chuckle as she crossed the room, having overheard his request moments earlier.

"I just had brain surgery, and you're not even going to let me have a cup of coffee?" he teased.

She laughed as she sat down on the edge of his bed. "Since it's your fault that I'm having orange juice instead of coffee this morning, I'm going to say no."

Watching the interaction between the two, Claudia smiled while finishing her notations. "Dr. Burke usually starts his morning rounds about seven, so he should be by shortly. If you need anything, you know the drill."

"Thanks," Mark nodded as she left.

Elizabeth watched him for a moment with a small smile on her face. Leaning closer, she kissed him tenderly before whispering, "Good morning."

"Good morning," he repeated with a smile.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. How about you?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded.

"What are you going to do today?" he inquired.

She regarded him curiously for a few moments before she replied. "I was planning on staying here with you. Why? Trying to get rid of me so you can hit on the nurses?"

He laughed softly, then just shook his head. "Why would I want to hit on the nurses when I'm already engaged to the woman I love?"

"Good answer," she smiled.

"But seriously, you don't have to stay here," he assured her. "Go back to the hotel, take a long hot bath, take a nap. I'm sure you'd be more comfortable sleeping there."

"How many times do I have to tell you? You're here, and that's all that matters to me," she said softly.

"I just don't want you to wear yourself out. That wouldn't be good for you, or for the baby," he reminded her.

She thought for a moment, then suggested, "What if I promise to take it easy while I'm here?"

He sighed. "It's a start."

"I'll be fine," she assured him as she caressed his cheek. Grinning, she added, "You're starting to get scruffy. You need a shave."

"That's right. You didn't like the goatee," he commented with a grin.

Before Elizabeth could reply, Dr. Burke entered the room. "Well, looks like you're feeling better - you're giving my nurses a hard time."

Mark had to laugh. "I really don't see what the big deal is. It was just removing a Foley. It's not like it was brain surgery."

Elizabeth bit her lip, trying to stifle a laugh, but Burke just glared at Mark for a moment.

"You're telling me you removed the catheter yourself?" Burke questioned.

"Yes."

"With no assistance?" he asked, looking at Elizabeth.

"No. Elizabeth was in the bathroom at the time," Mark lied, staring defiantly at Burke. "You gave the order. I just got tired of waiting for the nurses to get around to doing it."

"You are a patient here," Burke reminded him sternly. "That means we're responsible for what happens to you within these walls."

"I understand that. And if you want me to sign a form saying I removed the Foley AMA, I will. I don't have a problem with that," Mark countered.

Burke remained silent as he reviewed Mark's chart, finally asking, "Have you been up, walking?"

"To the bathroom and back twice," Mark replied. "Elizabeth was with me."

"Any problems?"

"My balance was a little off, just had to take it slowly," Mark explained.

"Any pain, weakness, numbness, dizziness? When you were walking or during the night?" Burke inquired.

"No, nothing that I remember anyway."

Consulting the chart once again, Burke asked, "Were you having trouble sleeping? There's a note on here that you were awake when the nurse came in to change your IV around one-thirty."

Elizabeth looked at Mark curiously. "You were having trouble sleeping?" she questioned anxiously. He'd looked she as tired as she felt last night. He should have been asleep almost immediately.

Mark laughed. "You can both relax. I spent most of yesterday afternoon and evening sleeping. I woke up when I was moving around, and it took a while to get back to sleep. I was just thinking when the nurse came in, I probably fell asleep a few minutes after she left."

Writing something down, Burke said, "I'm ordering an MRI mapping for you this morning. It'll be just like the one you had the first day you came here. You'll be doing various language tasks while we map the brain. It'll take about an hour. That's just so we have pre- and post-op scans to compare."

"Sounds thrilling," Mark commented dryly.

Burke chuckled. "At least I know one theory won't be debunked today."

"What's that?" Mark questioned curiously.

"That doctors make the worst patients."

Elizabeth laughed, prompting Mark to retort, "Just wait until you're in the delivery room, screaming at everyone in sight, demanding that they let you deliver the baby yourself because they don't know what they're doing."

With a gleam in her eyes, she said, "Thanks for reminding me. I need to tell Kerry she'd better stock up on extra plaster in the ER around my due date. Any requests for who you'd like to do your cast?"

"While you two debate that one, I'm going check on some other patients," Burke said with a smile.

After Burke left, Mark grinned as he wondered, "So, are you threatening me?"

Coyly, she replied, "I'm just saying you should never underestimate the strength of a woman in labor."

"I learned a long time ago never to underestimate you," he assured her with a gentle smile.

"Good."

A few moments passed before he wondered, "Would you mind doing me a favor?"

"Of course not. What is it?"

"Could you go back to the hotel, pick up my shaving kit and some pajamas," he requested. "As much as I love this oh-so-fashionable hospital attire, I think I'd be much more comfortable in my own clothes."

"You are determined to have me go back to the hotel, aren't you?" she chuckled.

"Elizabeth," he said with the same expression he'd used to convince her to remove the Foley for him the night before.

She folded her arms across her chest. "You are well aware of the fact that I cannot say no to you when you give me that look."

He grinned, but didn't say anything.

She sighed, then shook her head and smiled. "Fine, I'll go. But I'm warning the nurses about you before I leave."

"If that will make you feel better, go right ahead. I don't mind," he laughed. "I also wouldn't mind if you decided to stay a while at the hotel, take that shower and nap I mentioned earlier."

"We'll see," she said, giving him a wary look. "How about I stay here until they come get you for the MRI?"

"Sounds fine."

Elizabeth quietly entered the hospital room later that afternoon. She smiled as she sat her coat and the bags she was carrying on the chair in front of the window. Walking closer to Mark, she looked at him curiously. His eyes were closed, but she couldn't tell if he was asleep or just resting. She sat down on the edge of the bed, then softly whispered, "Mark?"

He opened his eyes a few moments later and looked in her direction. "Hey," he smiled.

"Did I wake you?"

"No," he shook his head. "I just closed my eyes for a few minutes."

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she took his hand in hers.

"I'm fine," he promised. "How about you? Did you get some rest?"

She had to laugh. "Yes, I did. I was planning to lay down and rest for about fifteen minutes. I woke up an hour and a half later, got up, took a shower, got dressed, gathered your things and did a little window shopping on the way back."

"Window shopping?" he questioned with a curious expression. "Should I be worried?"

"Well…" she grinned, "I found this absolutely lovely store a few blocks from the hotel. They have baby furniture, bedding, toys, stuffed animals, all sorts of things."

"How much did you spend, and how are we getting it all back to Chicago?" he laughed.

"I didn't buy anything… yet."

"Really?" he questioned suspiciously.

"I just picked up their catalogue and a few magazines. I thought we might go through them this evening, perhaps come up with a few ideas for the nursery," she suggested. With a grin, she added, "I figured it would be best if I did this while I knew you were a captive audience."

"What? You didn't think I'd be interested in going through fabric swatches and paint cards?" he tried to argue.

She stared at him incredulously, then just laughed. "Mark, if it were up to you, we'd still be using that ratty blue and white plaid comforter that I think you've had since you were in medical school."

"Then why do you want my opinion?" he countered. "Pick out whatever you like, and I'll be fine with it."

"I just thought it'd be better if you had something you liked when you were going in the nursery for those four-in-the-morning diaper changes," she concluded with a grin.

"Oh, so I'm doing the diaper changes?" he asked as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Since I'll be doing the feedings, I think it's only fair that you do the diapers."

"Yeah, I guess that's fair," he grinned.

She watched him for a few moments, a small smile on her face, before she wondered, "How did the MRI go?"

"It was fine," he replied with a shrug. "The same as the first one. Burke stopped in during lunch. He'd taken a preliminary look at the scan and said everything looked good. He was going to take a closer look this afternoon then come in to discuss it with us."

"That's good," she nodded. "They let you have lunch?"

"That's what they called it," he said warily. "I didn't think it was possible, but what they serve the patients is actually worse than what they sell."

"Isn't that always the case?" she chuckled.

He rested his head back on the pillow for a moment, then closed his eyes and sighed.

"What is it?" she asked in a concerned tone.

"Just wishing I could take a shower right about now. But somehow, I'm guessing that's probably out of the question," he commented as he opened his eyes.

"Probably," she nodded sympathetically. "But would a shave help?"

"Actually, yeah," he admitted. "Did you bring my stuff?"

"Of course," she smiled as she stood up and walked over to the chair. She looked through the bags for a moment, then stopped suddenly.

Noticing this, Mark asked, "Elizabeth? What's wrong?"

She bit her lip before finally picking up what was in the bag and walking back to the bed, where she slowly sat down.

He watched her curiously as he waited for her to say something.

Holding a white envelope with her name in his familiar scrawl, she said, "When I was gathering your things at the hotel, I-I came across this."

He'd sighed. He'd completely forgotten about that. The last thing he wanted was for her to find it now. "Have you read it?"

She silently shook her head. While her curiosity had definitely been piqued when she first found the envelope, deep down, she already knew what was in it. And that was what stopped her from opening it.

Knowing she was waiting for a response, he finally began to explain, "There are three letters in there. One for you, one for Rachel and one for the baby. I, uh, I wrote them night before last, in case-in case I didn't make it."

She nodded almost imperceptibly. She'd figured as much. Even though she knew, without a doubt in her mind, that he loved her, there was still a part of her that wanted to see the words he'd written. But she also knew how he'd intended her to read this letter, and she NEVER wanted to be in that position.

She stared at the envelope for several moments. As she looked up to him, he could see the tears brimming in her eyes. Drawing in a deep breath, she handed him the envelope. "You DID make it, and that's the only thing I need to know."

He took then envelope and placed it on the table next to his bed before turning back to her. Slipping his hand behind her neck, he drew her closer as he softly wondered, "How about that I love you?"

"I already know that. And I love you, too," she whispered with a smile as she tenderly pressed her lips to his. Looking into his eyes, she resolved not to worry about the letters, or losing him, or everything they'd been through in the last few weeks. All she wanted to think about at that moment was how grateful she was to have him in her life and enjoy the time they had together.

Her laughter seemed to fill the room as she pulled back slightly and brushed her hand across his jaw. "You really do need that shave."

Please seed all feedback to: SixteenOzs02@yahoo.com

January 20, 2001

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