Meet Your Hostess

My Personal Bio

Hey! I'm glad you're not just interested in the food and links and you really want to get to know me. It makes me feel special.

To begin with, I was born on a small tropical island while my parents were vacationing. I suprised everybody. I guess I was spontaneous since birth. The resort my parents were staying at had a party in their honor and the cheif of the native tribe presented me with a diamond that was found in the local mines.

That was sixteen years ago. Now, I am a normal teenager. Except for the fact that I have a rare condition which made me eight feet tall. It's useful for reaching in tall places.

This is the most recent picture of me

I write books. I have three published novels under the pen name of January La Sola. I picked that name because it means January of the Sun in Fijian, and that was the island that my parents were vacationing on when I was born. They visited Fiji in January so it was warm and sunny. Get it, January of the Sun?. I was number one the New York Times Bestseller List for five weeks in a row.

In my spare time, I distill my own liquor and run a speakeasy out of my basement. The barflies that frequent my basement are some of the craziest characters anyone could possibly meet. My favorite is Nicky Two-Times, even though he always repeats himself. Then there's Vinny Bag of Donuts and Stevie the Fish.

I haven't slept since I was ten. So I make daily trips to England so I'm never in the dark.

Really.

The Truth

Back to My Home Away From Homepage

Why not? The worst I can do is mail you back!