"I wish I had the kind of eyes that pop out and you can still see."
-Craig 3/16/97, 3:15 pm

"Oh, so you're not hard of hearing, you're just hard of comprehension."
(Corollary)
"You don't need a hearing aid, you need a comprehension aid."
-Craig 4/15/97, 2:50pm

"You're a nice bunch...of BROCCOLI."
-Mr. Mo 4/15/97, 8:55am

"God help me remember what I bought so this stuff doesn't go to waste."
-Mom's Prayer Over Groceries 4/30/97 7:10 pm

"I think the scales _might_ be different..."
-My Global Teacher, in reponse to two maps, one of which the US was bigger than Asia. 5/15/97

"The Periodic Table is just one big lie."
-Phil, 5/15/97 1:50

"Throw it again, it hit my leg."
-My Gym Teacher, 5/15/97

"There's no tea (t) in China! C-H-I-N-A!"
-Robby 5/20/97 7:58 am

"'Triumph is just 'umph' added to 'try'"
-Corinne, 10:00 pm

"When I die, I want to go to Cancun!"
-Amanda, 5/22/97

"Sophomore cut day should be every day."
-Steve, 5/29/97 9:45

"That was a low branch..."
-Mom, after hitting a tree limb

"I'm a poet and I didn't even realize it."
-Dave, Before the They Might Be Giants Concert

"Are you just going to dive into a pool of water?"
"No, I'm going to dive into a pool of carbon tetrachloride."
-Craig and Phil, respectively, 6/13/97, 7:00 pm

"I think the word democracy came from the Greek philosopher, Democracies."
-Dave 6/17/97, 3:30 pm

"I love Pink Floyd so much, I'll go to London!"
"Pink Floyd is in London?"
"I don't know where they are, but I would go to London if they were there!"
-Jerry and Corinne, 6/27/97, 10:00 pm

"I wish I had venom sacks so I could spit venom at people I don't like."
-Matt 7/4/97 1:30

"That's it, now I'm in a funk."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to funk you!"
"WHAT?!?"
-Bik, Mar, Dave 7/18/97, about 10:00pm

"I guess you don't know what's happening until it happened already."
-Bik, 7/24/97 5:00pm

"Ugh. Watching this show is getting pleasure from human misery."
"If it makes you feel any better, I get misery from watching human pleasure."
-Mar and Corinne, a long long time ago (I can still remember)

"This is the best ride in the park.
"What is?"
"The bus."
"Huh?"
"It's tipping..."
"I don't know...I like Mr. Toad."
-The Asian Beavis and Butthead, Mar's Trip to Disney

"Maybe tonight we'll go to Treasure Island."
"You mean Pleasure Island."
"No, Treasure Island. It's that store that sells-"
"Christmas Trees?"
"Yeah."
-Corinne and Dad, Mar's Trip to Disney

"I think God is a big rooster."
-Amanda, 8/4/97, 4:00 pm

"I was rollerblading here...and my wheel fell off."
-Chris 8/8/97, 10:00pm (hi matt!)

"It's not a stereotype if it's true!"
Mar, 8/12/97 4:00 pm

"I don't know how you did it, but you tickled my eye."
-Mar 8/26/97 2:00 pm

"I lost something very important."
"What?"
"My bra."
"Oooh."
"Well, it's better than losing my virginity."
12:28, 8/26, anon .

"So my father had to say, 'Susan, the Amish are gathering in the corner over there.'"
-Kat, Sergi's girlfriend, 8/29/97, 10:20

"You're competent until you're wrong."
-Nolan, 1:00 pm, 9/9/97

"That's good intimidation, though."
-My Guidance Councelor, 10:00 am, 9/10/97

"When God said about replenishing the earth, he might have meant with bugs."
-Beth, 1:00 pm, 9/10/97

"One thing you never want to do..."
"Is piss off God."
"No, pissing off God is okay, you just don't want to stir up the poor!"
-My Comparative Religions teacher and Josh, 9/16/97, 1:18

"Well, I figure, you just can't go wrong when you talk about dead cows."
-Craig, 9/16/97, 3:41 pm

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