The Chronicles of Our Meals Together III


Apparently, I became "one of the guys" this weekend. This title was bestowed upon me despite the fact that I do not have the genitalia to support the claim. As being a new member in the "one of the guys" club, I was exposed to new arenas of conversation that were restricted in the presence of other girls. Most of these, of course, had to do with bodily fluids.

With this new mindset, we went out to a diner. Hence, "The Chronicles of Our Meals Together III". Ahhh, the good old diner menu. It informs the customer (like they didn’t know they were about to order disco fries anyway) what the available food was. Yet not even a diner menu is sacred to a bunch of teenage boys, so we started making fun of the way they described the cole slaw. The sole adjective, "Creamy". We all giggled, one at a time, as Dave passed around the menu and pointed out the operative word.

After a few minutes of glancing at the menu, our waitress arrived. Her first question:

"Would anyone like any cole slaw?"

"Um….no."

So we gave our orders, and somehow the conversation shifted to something that was decidedly "welfare". Phil looked up and spouted, "But remember, last time I made a joke about something being welfare, the woman with one tooth got offended and made the spinny thing run too long. I thought I was going to die, and I was right next to Michelle Farber."

"Not to mention Slobodon Malosovic," Graham said, adding his two cents into a story that made absolutely no sense to him. Acutally, there is a five minute anecdote that makes Phil’s statement clear (it actually is a coherent story) but Phil failed to realize that extracted a few key pieces of the story would make it lose its coherency.

Realizing this, he said, "Slobodon Malosovic wasn’t there!"

"That’s why I said not to mention him."

The Past Stranger Than Fictions

Why Not? I'm nice, really!

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© 1997