Here's
me looking quite pre-pubescent. The hair was done by my mother using a
bowl and some lawn strimmers and the German sailor suit was later used
in a Village People concert. God knows why I'm looking so happy, hanging
on for dear life to a garden fence. Hmmmmmm.
Here's
me in Italy. I beleive living so near to Sellafied nuclear power plant
when I was young has caused that strange, architectuaral mutation to grow
out of the side of my head. Hmmm indeed.
Yes, well
here's me looking rather kinda sexy. Hmmmmmm. This has appeared several
times on various sites. Enough said methinks.
Here's me
in Venice. What we don't see here is the events that followed after wards.
The glare of the flash blinded me for a few seconds and I fell into the
water. Luckily I was able to swim to the shore - unfortunately also into
the path of an oncoming boat. Unfortunately this boat was the Veneziano
Firework Compay Delivery Gondola, which swerved to avoid me and ploughed
right into the local electricity station causing a huge explosion of fireworks,
electrical charges and blacked out the whole of Venice for 2 days. Which
was nice.
Theres a
rational explanation for this, so here goes: I invented a time machine
and went back in time. There! Now that's believable isn't it? I was the
one who suggested to the Trojans that even though after 10 years of war
with the Greeks, that the nice horse shaped thing might just be a going-away
present. Daft gullible sods. Ooo I had a chortle at that.....hmmm.
This is
what happens if you spend too much time on computers: anorak, glasses,
braces and strange facial hair. Fortunately I was just dressed like this
for a joke. Normally of course, I would be wearing sandals.
This is me with my little sister Beth. Please note clean shaven short haircut appearance of me from a few years ago.... Oh where o where did I go astray????
Although its oft, and scandously written otherwise - I AM a football god...