Contribution - Dave, from Calgary #2 (12/20/96)

Hey, I hear that you're looking for a new name for your webpage. Might I recommend that you change it to "Lieutenant Franco's Page of Laughs". I also got another funny story.

Once there was this guy named Ron, and he had a cat named Lois. Now Ron was crazy, so he thought that Lois was a person. So, one day, he opened his fridge for some milk and there wasn't any. So he turns to Lois and says,"Hey Lois, since you like milk so much, go get 4 litres of it from 7-11." And he puts a 10 dollar bill in Lois's collar, opens the door and puts him outside. Now Lois, since he's a cat, doesn't know what to do. In fact, he didn't even understand what Ron said to him. So, Lois is walking around doing whatever it is that cats do, and just by fluke, he ends up at the 7-11. And, since it had automatic doors, Lois walked in. And then the clerk comes around, and sees the 10 dollar bill in Lois's collar, so figures that the cat has one of those crazy owners, so he gets a box of condoms(just guessing what he wants), ties it to his tail, puts him outside, and puts the $4.29 change on the ground next to him. But, Lois can't carry coins, so he just leaves. And somehow, Lois gets back home, but when Ron sees that he got condoms instead of milk and didn't bring the change back, he gets so mad that he jams one of the condoms over Lois, fills it up with gasoline, ties the opening up, and throws him into the fireplace. Except doing that ain't too smart, because number 1, there's a lot of gasoline, and number 2, the screen wasn't shut or anything. So, KABOOM, and there was nothing left, all because Lois got condoms instead of milk.

Can you tell I have nothing to do?

Dave

Note - The people at Captain Guffaw do not condone this type of story and apologize for its content, even though it made us laugh so hard we drooled on our keyboards.