The Retropoet
The "Bumper Sticker" Page
Retropoet's Favorite Bumper Stickers
- Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
- Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
- Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
- Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
- Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
- Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
- Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
- Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
- All men are idiots ... I married their king.
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
- EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other 2, it's an amusement park.
- Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
- Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
- Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
- Hang up and drive.
- He/She who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
- Horn broken, watch for finger.
- I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
- I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
- I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
- I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
- I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
- I said "no" to drugs, but they just woudn't listen.
- If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
- If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
- It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
- Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
- Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
- Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.
- Keep honking, I'm reloading.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
- Lord save me from your followers.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
- My kid had sex with your honor student.
- My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ...or something like that.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Thank You For Your Time