In other news, a >Big Burger= restaurant in Jamestown was destroyed today by a thousand foot GTS-Goddess calling herself Chris. When asked why she did it. The goddess said she was sick and tried of hearing their ads for their big big burgers. Burgers so big they would fill up anyone. So she gave them a challenge. If their big big burgers could fill her up, she would leave them alone. If not she would destroy them and any other >Big Burger= restaurant she came across.

Needless to say, panic has spread to the other >Big Burger= joints around the world. Mr. Burger president of Big Burger could not be reached for comment.