ADVICE FOR IDIOTS An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental,
Health & Safety
Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your
eyes."
> >
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the
Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he
no longer wanted them to cross there.
> >
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She
asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."He
said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
> >
IDIOT SIGHTINGS Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the
airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?"
I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and
nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
> >
Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine, when she asked if I
knew what the buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded,
appalled, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?"
> >
Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to
"downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun We should
have lunch like this more often." Not
another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the
headlights of
an approaching truck.
> >
Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the
life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.
> >
Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we
were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger's
side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I
know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side