22/10/98
WHAT IS THIS?
Shut off the sound
I can't hear my sense.
Mind no longer filled with,
taken over, by common life,
Yet no clearer.
My eyes - so wide open,
but feeling only dark.
I've removed myself from my life,
stepped out of the arena
Sat in the stands
But I can't bear to look.
Can't meet my own eyes.
What do you call this?

22/10/99

What is it about you?
You, plural, that is.
Swept with the current, abandoned
I reach out in all directions at once
and find a hand in every corner.
Gratified and shocked.
Relieved and horrified.
A soul-mate in every scene.
What is it about me?
I was untouched, never this.
I photocopy my love letters,
put my heart in triplicate
Burn the passion candle,
and blow the ash forever far.
Still I remain alone.
Unfaithful.

17/1/99 - Brasil
A night of crying
A heart screwed up in sorrow
I stand over the waking city
and shout my lament.
I'm not ashamed
to admit my fears;
These tears, a badge of dreams.

12/3/99

Delay

I'm eating an easter egg;
I know my mother would have disapproved.
She always maintained that easter eggs
had to wait for the joy of easter Sunday,
while traversing the coldness of Friday.
Kind of like the shiver of orgasms
after doing the dishes.

26/3/99 - 12.30 am
Poem for Gecco

An acrobat in absent space
could not match your weightless spin
through my circle of consciousness.
You are hardly, barely, noticeably there
But you expand to fill the gaps;
Or maybe the gaps expand to contain you.
Flicker tongue and dart eyes,
Slowly alert, deceivingly rare
Elusive but eternal; elastic but etched
And forever enigma.
I offer up my wrists.

27/3/99

Wanting to hit out and wound you
for your lack of forgiveness.
Knowing the sensible, calm path;
enough to know it can't stifle injustice.
I can see the irony.
I just can't forgive you.
And I feel forced
to be reasonable.

24-25/4/99

END OF THE LINE

She burst open on the windscreen
right in front of me
spraying insect parts in a liquid stain.
Watching the road through her wasted eggs,
I felt the saddest solidarity with her
In the pain of my condition.

25/4/99

ENCONTRAMOS

(Away being edited :-)

25/4/99

I woke thinking of you
In the same way I had slept
but strained with old desire
and stiff with long-tense bones.
I can but I can't;
I shouldn't but I will.
These things don't
just pack their bags
and leave.

8/5/99

I'm here; I came,
and whatever's the same,
really is not.
Don't be fooled
by the familiarity
of the setting.

8/5/99

All I need is your fingertips;
their curious brush on my cheek
will bring the rest of you back to life
in the movie theatre of my memory.

All I need is your voice -
my name on your tongue,
your moist whisper in my ear,
to remind me who I am.

8/5/99

My sunnies got fried in Brazil,
My assumptions were wrong in Fiji.
My tyre blew out near Oxford,
I choked on the smog in LA.
I did the shopping thing in Vipiteno, Italy
and the hospital thing in Papeete, Tahiti.
I collected my thoughts in Buenos Aires,
I drank feder weiss in Germany.
My wallet was flogged in Lucerne,
My English was foreign in Edinburgh.
I was ignored for two days in France,
turned blue on the Austrian alps,
and got lost in Leichtenstein.
Meanwhile,
back at home -
My friends;
lived
bought things, and
died.