It will be a peaceful Sunday morning if the Ivans don't come to our barbed wire blockade and say hello to us. I thought to myself. Oh, it was nice to see our Me109s flying - I hadn't seen them for so long. As I was trying to swallow my breakfast, and I mean trying, because whatever it was supposed to be, it was as hard as rock - and just as tasty. Life in the trenches was no bed of roses - unless, that is, it was the thorny stems.

Suddenly, I heard Erwin yell out, "The Ivans are coming! Move your arses! Now!" As I grabbed my rifle I could hear the whine of shells as a cover for the Russians. Planes were screaming through the sky and men were shouting and cursing all about. I hurried into the pillbox, commonly known as The Keep, where all my buddies were playing a game of poker. As I looked out through the porthole at the front of the pillbox, I saw about two thousand men rushing towards us.

“Shit!” I cried out, “They've even got tanks!”

I was throwing everything I had at the Ivans - from bullets to grenades to metal lunch boxes. My buddies soon joined in on the act. The trouble was, the Ivans were throwing everything back; not just lunch boxes, but lunches to go with them.

“Look at that! How come they get steak for lunch?!” I shouted, “We have no idea what we're eating and they have steaks?! Cover me, Erwin! I'm gonna try to get their lunches!”As soon as I stepped out of the hole, I could see that all the Ivans were aiming their weapons at me. Every move I made they fired tons of shots at me.

“Come on, Ivans: I'm just a normal man after some lunch!” I yelled to these bloody animals. Suddenly all the shooting stopped. All was quiet; you could hear a needle were one to drop on the ground. Oh, now that's just nice! All they do is come and drop their lunches here and buzz off! I thought to myself. As I was stretching my back and picking up the lunches, courtesy of the Ivans, the earth started moving.

“This is not good,” I pointed out to myself. “Oversized lunches are coming!”I yelled as I ran back to the pillbox. A volley of shells rang out, whizzing over the field. The dust flew a hundred feet high and I couldn't see anything through its thick cover. All I could hear was the sharp buzzing of the shells as they screamed through the air.

“Take them!” I yelled to my comrades as I threw the lunch boxes to them.

“Have you been shot, Otto?” Erwin questioned.

“No! Look, just bloody eat the food! It could be your last meal,” I hastily replied.

While we were enjoying the prime steaks, shells continued bursting all around us. It was like an inferno outside the pillbox, but we were all having a ton of fun, dodging from cover to cover, playing hide-and-seek with the bullets and lunch boxes. We were so good at that game, because we loved the fun element of it so much. With our hide-and-seek superstar, Heinz Von Student, we were invincible.

The Ivans were a little bit out of patience by this time. Heavy artillery and tank guns were all moving in and aiming at us. To counter this onslaught, we started to bombard the Ivans with our lunch boxes. These lunch boxes, filled with grenades, had begun to set a few T34/85s on fire.

“I think they must realise the price of interrupting our lunch time, mustn't they?”I smiled at my men. Erwin was jumping around like a bloody madman, and Heinz again got stuck into the contents of one of the lunch boxes.

A new Waffen SS Panzer Division had hence been created. Only the finest and toughest soldiers were selected from the entire Eastern Front to join the Division. Heinrich Himmler himself had the task of making the final selection as to who was in and who was left out in the cold. We, as a group, had become the Sixth Company of SS Panzer Division One. As a reward for our successful campaign we were given a special title, Wolf Von Lunch Boxes. Under the command of myself, Obersturmbannfuhhrer Otto.

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