This page is dedicated to the loving memory of one of my best friends Elizabeth Boron. Elizabeth took her own life on August 8, 1999. I will forever remember her as my Zilly. My LaWanda Brown, because we were "da Brown sistas". She still has my blue bra, and it is hers forever. I remember her loving my cat, Tyler and Olli, and our constant jokes about us having relationships with them. I remember her putting her cat Nosferatu in her bookbag so that she could bring him over to my house to meet me. I remember him playing with me, and how much he loved to be with her. I remember our inside jokes like "I hate my hips, and I look like sh*t." Our last conversation included this joke. Our nicknames for people like Horsefeed, Jumbo Jeff, Limpy, Chubbles, Joan's Sampler, Hot Chocolate, ew Cold Chocolate!!! Mrs. Ed. I remember our junk food binges and how we were the "packrats" and chink chips. And the breakfast I made for you, and you actually ate it. And the aussome sandwiches you would make me for breakfast. No one could make them like you did.
I remember our long talks about Tony and Scott and other people. And Jiggly Boobs, and Erik and Mike. And Ilyssa. I remember the matching butt floss joke, and that party you went to freshmen year. I remember Chris Wyher's arse, and how you were scared of your hand cos it was hairy. And when you told me all about Tom, and I remember Terrie's party. I remember listening to TOOL in the bathroom before our midterms sophomore year, and you slept through all of them. And Gwar, and you're "relationship" with Kenny. I remember "What's third to you? ****ing?" And slamming the door, and he thought we were arguing. And the St. Bernard, and "shook your boobs". I remember GI JANE, Our dancing around my room to Vanilla Ice, LL Cool J (you still have that cd, hehe), Dance Mix USA, Madonna, and BEL BIV DEVOE!!!!
I remember our long conversations about everything. You were always there to listen. You always could feel what I was feeling 100%. And now you're gone from that forever. I don't have you to call up and make me laugh at myself for caring so much about things that didn't matter. I will forever remember our promise to each other about December 31, 1999. Oh god Liz. I can't believe you are gone. I want to run upto you and hug you, and hold you, and tell you that everything is going to be alright. But now you're gone, and I can't. Do you remember when I wrote this to you?

Sisters... is what we used to call ourselves... we shared secrets...private thoughts... poems...only we could judge each other...im sorry it has to end like this... but im not sorry it ever began... u will always be in my heart...u will always be my friend...when things get hard.... We sometimes tend to run away... but thoughts of each other don't...I don't care what they say... I hope u know that.... I have different thoughts from others... I miss our jokes... I miss our fun times together... I miss the times we were "happy" being ourseleves... I miss the bathroom in the morning... I miss making fun of those who wanted to hurt us... I miss u... but it hurts me too much...ur my sister... and always will be... I love u... and I always will... I'll need u forever… but now I cant run to u...tears r dripping from my eyes... dancing around my room... once was an activity enjoyed by us both.... Now it is a memory... a memory of the friendship we once had... im sorry sis... I didn't betray u... but I love u... and I think we need to let each other go... Even if it does hurt... im sorry... im sorry... im sorry...

It almost fits the situation. Except this was a year ago, and you were alive and well when I wrote it. I remember listening to TOOL with you, because it made us "feel" things that nothing else could. I remember singing H. and Pushit with you. I remember when you let me hear Spawn by silverchair over the phone because I hadn't heard it before. I remember how excited I was when I found out you had bought Neon Ballroom and you told me you liked it. I remember "Let the rabbits wear glasses!" "Sim sala bim bum bah, sala do sala dimba!" and how you always loved that, and "Und kierne eier!". I remember praying for your friend "Kip, who had a lisp and talked like this" in Theology class. We were so funny together. And the incident while making a poster with Linsey for our project on the Sitar. And Bob and your nickname for him. And our venture into your neighborhood, and he frog, and "we're lesbians!", and Dictionary Diane, and Lesbi friends, and Oh gay! And Homo you don't! And invauable hussy and worthless slut. I think we need a picture of us now...

That pic was taken Candlelight 1997.
I remember our singing along to that specific wav that we both loved. "Ivory". And how you would always send me funny wavs, and we'd make fun of everyone online. And your poems, and how we would share them with each other. I love you Liz, and I will never forget you. This page is for YOU. And I will always have you in my heart. No matter what happens. I know you will be looking over my shoulder, watching, making sure I never date a guy with bigger boobs then I have. Do you remember our Crack cult? And how I was Aruali Johnz, and you were Zilly Flint, and Jaime was Aimee Lee? Jaime is sorry, I am sorry, you guys are friends now. Things were fixed. We're going to pretend that. We all love each other. Do you remember the parking lot at Clemens? And the Red Mustang? And 14 blocks! And our special Dance that no one else knew, and the butt dance.

These are some songs I think apply to you...
MarianneTuna, Rubber, a little blubbler in my igloo, and I knew you pigtails and all, girls when they fall, and they said Marianne killed herself, and I said, not a chance, don't you love the girls, ladies, babes, old bags who say, she was so pretty, why why why why did she crawl down in the old deep ravine
c'mon pigtails girls and all those saiolors get your bags and hold down, won't you just hold down, cause Ed is watching my every sound, I said, they're watching my every sound, the weasel squeaks faster then a seven day week, I said Timmy and that purple Monkey, are all down, at Bobby's house, making themselves pesters and lesters and jesters and my, traitors of kind, and I'm just having thoughts of Marianne, she could outrin the fastest slug, she could, marianne, quickest girl in the frying pan..."

Gone Away
Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away
Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away

Angel
Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here...

Shade
If you're hurt,
Why don't you tell someone.
Don't feel bad,
You're not the only one, yeah.
Don't go hiding,
Hiding, in the shade.
If you were abused,
I'll find someone to help you.
I know you were used,
What are you gonna' do?
Yeah...

Jumper by Third Eye Blind, because it was the only Third Eye Blind song that we could admit that we liked ;-)
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies,
That you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again,
I would understand,
I would understand,
The angry boy, a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light
On a burial shroud
I know something's wrong
Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say,
Put the past away
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand
Well he's on the table
And he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they are doing here
And your friends have left
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I
I want you to know
Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today
We can put the past away
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand
I would understand
Can you put the past away
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
I would understand

Ok, well I am updating this part, because I would like to add the little things that I miss about Liz's presence in my life. Everywhere I go it seems a new one has come up, and I was thinking about this last night, and I decided I should write them down, and what better way to do it then to share them. Maybe her friends will remember these, but these are probably mostly inside jokes, who knows?
When she would come into my house and say "HI MOM!" to my mom.
How she would call me up and ask me how Olli was doing.
How she would tease me about how sometimes I sound like an airhead.
Reading poems to each other over the phone.
She could only straighten my hair, no one else can do it the way she can.
Our constant jokes on people.
How she would make fun of those who tried to hurt me.
How if someone was harassing me online, she would automatically IM them and bitch them out for me.
I can't invite her to Senior Week.
I can't ask her for a senior portrait.
We can't "fall in" the ocean again "by accident" in the middle of March when the water is 40 degrees.
I can't sacrifice my scrunchies with her, and I cant tell the Ocean of Wonders to take my jelly rolls.
I can't have "through the doors, down the steps, around the statue" ever again.
Poochy Curls no longer has any meaning.
Yeaaaah, I'm a fag, drag and all, I'm a fag... this no longer is as funny.
I can't watch scary movies with her and make them stop early so she has to wait to know what happens.
No more Chubbles...
No more "And he put it in me!" " And I liked it!" or "Mama, I didn't sin" "And the first sin was intercourse"
I can't tease her about her Cheerleader magazine
I can't go to Friendly's and be called an Oreo
She won't refuse to wear shoes in Friendly's anymore.
She won't hit on Ryan, or jump on his car.
She won't call me the worthless slut ever again, and her the invaluable hussy.
Ok, that's it for now.... Leave Her a Goodbye Note Read Her Goodbye Notes If anyone has lyrics that they would like to see on here, let me know. You can Email me at Laura