What you are to be, you are now becoming...
~Cameron Beck
It’s evening now, and dark in Mother and Father’s room. They locked me in here, to keep themselves safe, they said. But I wouldn’t hurt them! I’m not a demon, I’m not...at least, I didn’t think so, but the way they look at me, the horror in their eyes...they are afraid of me. Terrified.
The window is open a crack, and the pale light of the stars and a glowing half moon shine down, turning everything to silver. But the beauty of it, and the warmth of the small fire burning in the tiny hearth, does nothing to dispel the chill in my heart. A chill of fear...and a horrible aching loneliness, for I have a vague feeling of impending doom...I almost know, somewhere deep inside, what will happen.
I can hear their voices out there, soft and scared, although I can pick out few of the words.
“A Shaper...demons, all of them...”
“A danger to us, and ill luck...”
“We cannot afford to harbor such evil...”
I rest my arms on the windowsill and my chin on my arms, staring out into the night. The stars shine brightly above, mocking me and my childish sorrows and fears. The soft evensong of the night birds drifts faintly to my ears, a lullaby for a forsaken child...slowly, my eyes close, and I slip into a restless, troubled, but unbroken sleep that lasts till morning.
The morning cries of the birds doesn’t awaken me, nor the rosy dawn sunlight that turns everything soft and hazy with dawnlight. The sound of the door opening loudly (so loudly it must be intentional) startles me from my slumber. Mother’s frightened face looks in, reminding me of the day before, her screams...I almost cringe by the window, but she’s the one cringing...she won’t come within five feet of me.
“Rois, ‘urry outside now, we’re going t’ the city t’day. There’s a few things we need t’ do.” She beckons for me to come, and, with the foolish, innocent hope of a child, I follow, thinking that I must be forgiven...a trip to the city, what a treat! Oh, but little did I know...
We walk outside, Mother staying well ahead, and refusing to touch me. The horse is harnessed to the wagon, and Father stands beside it. I notice now that both Mother and Father are dressed in their best clothes, and I look down at mine, wrinkled and stained from the day before. But I am allowed no time to dwell on this, for Father helps Mother onto the wagon seat and motions wordlessly for me to get in the back. By myself? But it’s so tall! Eventually, I manage to pull myself up onto the wagon bed, and Father pulls up the back piece so nothing falls out. But there’s nothing there but me...how odd... Father gets up beside Mother and we start moving, going to the city. My fears are almost drowned out by my excitement at seeing the city for the first time. Oh, what an adventure this is!
The drive takes several hours, and I fall asleep in the back, lulled by the soft autumn sunlight and the steady movement of the wagon. I awaken as we reach the city gates. Father stops the wagon and ties it to a railing with some others, and I get down and walk inside with my parents. It’s enormous! So big! So many people and sights and sounds! My eyes are bedazzled, and the clamor is the most thrilling music to the ears of a four year old child. Mother and Father walk rapidly through the marketplace in the main courtyard, I have to run to keep up with them. They finally stop at a pottery shop and tell me sternly to wait outside. I nod solemnly and lean against the outside wall of the shop, watching all the sights with great fascination.
Street musicians, bedecked in wild, eye-catching colors, ply their trade on street corners, the merry music filling the streets. In other places, small teams of acrobats perform stunning (to my eyes) acts, the ribbons sewn to their clothing waving and swirling in the air. Smells of strange, spiced foods permeate the air, tantalizing and tempting to a child of four. The cries of vendors hawking their wares fills comes to the ears, and that of livestock, and the music of the street minstrels. I’ve never seen anything so amazing, so fascinating, in my entire life! How wonderful the city is!
Long minutes pass, and I fidget impatiently in front of the store. The sights and sounds of the streets can only hold a young child for so long, after all. Mother and Father still haven’t come out of the shop yet. How long does it take to buy a few mugs and bowls, anyway? Finally growing weary of waiting, I walk inside and look around. Mother and Father are nowhere to be seen. I run back out into the streets, a feeling of sick dread creeping through me. They’re not anywhere. I scream out for them, over and over, until my throat becomes raw from shouting. Tears start to stream down my cheeks, and I run blindly through the streets, sobbing. “Mother...Father...Come back, don’t leave me here!”
Panic takes control of my frightened mind, and soon I find myself thoroughly lost, and in a rather unpleasant looking part of town. Beggars and thieves line the streets, watching everything with hard, cold, calculating stares. A blind boy grabs at me, begging pitifully for coins. I scream in terror and jerk away, falling down in the process. The sleeve of my shirt rips, pain shoots through my arm, but I’m too terrified to notice. I run, as fast as I can, weeping and crying out in terror. Finally, I grow to weary to run anymore as my hunger and exhaustion take over me. I collapse onto the doorstep of a small, dingy, tired-looking house, and darkness claims my senses at last....