The way we handle...@Cara

The way we handle a situation or a problem has a very significant influence on the outcome.It is more of an art than a science.In many cases,it is more human than technical.Even some technical problems can be better resolved by using humanistic approach.Yet,the world has witnessed a lot of sufferings from mistakes in handling the various issues/conflicts.Just look back at the recent racial conflicts of Bosnia and political misadventure in Timur Timor recently.

Let me share with you a personal experience.The incidence happened almost ten years ago.My cousin,whose house is only 10 metres away from my parent's house,was accused at school by his teacher of being a Peeping Tom.He was so embarrassed that he lost control of himself and went up straight to his teacher and punched him on his nose!The teacher's house is about 200 metres away from our house.We are living in the kampung.When this sort of thing happened, the whole school and  village knew and talked about it. And, both families felt the  humiliation and shame.

For a week,nothing happened and everyone from either side kept calm and maintained restraints.Then,the younger brother of the teacher came back to our kampung for the weekend.When he was informed about what happened,he got angry and wanted to return a punch back to my cousin.When  my cousin was walking back from shopping and the road passes in front of the teacher's house,he was punched and kicked by the teacher's brother.There was a fight and he ran home to get a parang to finish off his teacher's brother.Luckily,his late mother was in the house and called me and my uncle who happened to in the house at that time.My cousin was almost in a trance and there was nothing on his mind(I doubt whether he is in control of his mind) than to take the parang and finish off his attacker.We managed to stop him not by words but by pinning him down.That was the only way.

After the attack incidence,I called upon a respected old man in our kampung to be the mediator.He managed to convince both parties to put the case to rest.So far,it worked until to-day and nobody from either side break the truce.My uncle was a very reasonable but firm.He passed the message to the other party that if anyone from my family members is attacked, then he will personally take revenge and the families will be at war forever.That was the culture at that time and I think it still prevails until to-day, especially in a kampung in Kelantan.

Sad to say,until to-day,both sides of the family never got back to our former kampung folks close relationship.When we meet,we acknowledge one another and go our own separate ways.The family pride is still sticking up like a sore thumb in each family ego...

A similar story happens every where,from time to time,not only between  a student and his teacher,but also between societies and between  nations.Issues and conflicts are not as simple as the case of Peeping Tom.They are bigger and more complex;they can be  domestic as well as international. From my personal observations,certain things or incidences got worse because of the way they were handled or rather mishandled.Just look back for yourself for the past ten or twenty years ago.We can't avoid incidences and conflicts; they  will be there for us.I think we have a lot to learn how to handle our human problems better.The human race has put man on the moon in the late 60's and have solved many scientific mysteries,but when it comes to more down to earth matters,we were no better than fifty years ago.With all the latest and sophisticated telecommunication technology in our hand literally(ex. handphone and Internet nowadays),we sometimes fail to communicate with our very own family members and friends.Closer back at home,the May 13th,1969 incidence was handled very well by the leaders at that time.As a nation,we have done reasonably well from then to August,1997-before the financial crisis.And I personally testified to that as an eye witness.

Everyone of us experience many things in life.The longer we live,the more things we will have to face.There will always be the good,the bad and the ugly.All of us wish that we have only the good things,but life is such.It is always a mix.However,life itself is beautiful-La vita e' bella.Some are more fortunate than others.Last week,I was worried sick when my eldest son had to undergo a simple operation to remove his swollen appendicitis.My friend and a neighbour is now undergoing cancer treatment.He still smiles and jokes with me despite his predicament.It is just the way how one handles a situation.It is easily said than done.Honestly,I don't know how to cope with cancer!God forbids.

In 1997,we have a financial crisis.Our country chose our way to solve our problem.We did not follow the recommendation of IMF.I agree with the leadership from day one.It works so far and I hope our economy will recover in two to three years from now.

On the other hand,we have the policy of privatisation.In principle,it is for the public good.But the way it was handled for certain projects/services,the public is suffering from bad services and higher costs.I agree that we need to pay for better services but the cost must commensurate with the level of services provided.We need more effective monitoring and supervision to ensure that the public is not taken for a ride by greedy businessmen.

Now,we are also witnessing another major event in the making-the case of Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim.He was removed from the post of Deputy Prime Minister and also from UMNO on the accusation of sexual misconduct.Everyone of us has his/her own views.Given the chance,different people will handle it different way.One may be confident of a 'right' way,but certain events that may take place later can make the 'right' way wrong.As they used to say,let history be the judge.And I will be keeping my eyes,ears and heart open for the truth and nothing but the truth....