Issues We Face



PEER PRESSURE

Have you ever knowingly made the wrong choice just so you could appear “cool” to your friends? Have you ever kept your mouth shut in a time when you really should have spoken up as a Christian because you didn’t want to look bad?

I think we all have experienced some peer-pressure at least at one point or another. It’s okay to want to fit in, but when you end up compromising your standards because it’s more important to you that your peers accept you than that you please God, maybe you need to stop and do some evaluating. You see, God should be number one at all times, our first concern and priority. I know sometimes it can be really hard to go against the flow, but it’s worth it to live for God. Our lives should reflect God’s image, not our friends’ image, and certainly not the world’s image. If your friends are the kind that will make fun of you or think less of you because of your devotion to God, then you need to make a decision. Which is most important? Think about it. Don’t let your friends or peers stand in the way of Christ’s blessings and will in your life.

The Bible tells us in Matthew 10:33 that if we are ashamed of Jesus before our friends, He will be ashamed of us before the Father. Romans 12:2 warns us, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

When we become born again, we become new creations. We are given more responsibilities and are expected to leave our sinful nature behind and strive to be holy. Of course, God doesn’t actually expect us to BE holy, (He knows we are human!) but He does expect us to strive, to really try, to live in purity. If we are more concerned with what others think than what God thinks we are going to miss out on so much that He has to offer us.

So, peer-pressure is obviously a problem…an issue…today, but is it a new concern? Nope! Let’s take a look at the lives of some Bible characters that experienced peer-pressure, and see how they dealt with it.

Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, are the first Bible characters that come to mind when I think of peer-pressure. After these four Hebrew friends were taken captive to the city of Babylon, Daniel convinced the chief official who was in charge of them to let them eat vegetables and drink water only instead of partaking of the meat and wine that had been sacrificed to idols. You can bet that these four friends were laughed at when the other captives found out that they were turning down what would be considered the “good stuff”. It took courage to do what was right, but Daniel and his friends were blessed for following God’s laws. Later, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, were faced with another big test of peer-pressure. When the king constructed a 90-foot high image of himself that was made of gold, he made it a law that everyone had to bow down and worship it! These three friends refused and as a result were thrown into a fiery furnace. Can you imagine! How easy it would have been for them to just compromise their values for a few minutes to save their own lives. By the way, God saved them from that fiery furnace because of their faith and commitment to Him. Then Daniel was thrown into a den of lions for praying. God’s hand was on him in that situation too and he escaped alive.

Moving on to some new characters, lets talk about Noah. He was told to build a huge ship for when the great flood came...but, it had never even rained there before! Everyone around him thought he had gone crazy, but he obeyed God. A lot of times that we find ourselves giving into peer-pressure have to do with us not wanting too appear crazy, weird, or a number of other undesirable things to our peers. So we compromise. But not Noah.

Job experienced peer-pressure when his “friends” urged him to just curse God and die when he was going through the most devastating crisis imaginable. Did he give in? No, but he did question God and certainly got some clear answers!

I think it’s safe to say that all of the Disciples faced a great amount of peer-pressure; after-all they left everything they had to follow the most controversial figure of their day and of all time. Obviously they didn’t follow Christ because it would make them popular. The message that they brought to the cities they visited was not only one of love and grace, but also one of repentance. Some people didn’t like that too much. If they had been concerned with what people would think of them, they would never have done some of the things they did for the Kingdom of God. Along with the appointed disciples, I'm including John the Baptist, Paul, and others that preached the Good News during that same time period.

The Bible is filled with stories of Godly men and women who did not give in to peer-pressure. But lets take a quick look at some situations in which they DID give in, and lets see what we can learn from the outcome of their situations.

Did you know that Pilate, the governor that handed Christ over to be crucified, knew he was innocent but was afraid of going against the crowd’s desire to have Jesus killed? He washed his hands before the Jews, telling them that he was cleansing himself from having anything to do with crucifying Jesus, telling them that it was their doing and not his. He didn’t want to upset them. But he wasn’t really “clean” from having anything to do with the act. He was just taking the easy way out…giving in to “peer-pressure”.

Peter denied Christ three times as a result of peer-pressure. He was afraid and confused and it was easy for him to just say “no” when asked if he knew Jesus.

Again, there’s a lot of examples that I coud point out, but I don’t want this to get too long. So I will close with this.

What have we learned here? Peer-pressure is not a new thing; even Godly people fall into the trap of peer-pressure; and finally, peer-pressure is not something you HAVE to give into.
What causes us to compromise our values when faced with pressure from friends or peers? Most of the time it has to do with being afraid of what people will think of you or it just being easier not to go against the flow.
What’s the best way to NOT give in? Just be strong and trust God; He will help. And remember, it matters much more what God thinks of you than what others think of you. Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ”.

-HK



RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding."- Solomon

Solomon, the wisest man to ever live. Even with all his knowledge he yet writes that we should not lean on our own understanding. This proverb can meet one on many levels, and mean many things to a person, but can it not also be applied to relationships?

In John 15:10-11 Jesus says "'If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments, and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.'" In this passage Jesus tells us to keep His commandments. He never intends for His commandments to be a drudgery or to be a burden, rather He says that He wants us to keep His commandments so that our joy may be made full!

With this in mind, what has this to do with Proverbs 3:5? "Trust in the LORD with all your heart..."

As a child you trust your parents, in a way that children do. You count on them to meet your needs, you don't worry about your next meal, what you're going to wear, where you're going to go. Because you know that they are going to be there for you, and that they will provide for you. Likewise, God is our heavenly father. We are to come to God with the faith of a child. Trusting Him to be Jehovah Jireh, our Provider. Not only trusting Him to get us through the day, the month, the year, but also through our trials, our joys...and our relationships.

I've observed many people in their dating relationships, and I've sat back and watched the game, and the confusion that permeated the relationships. But is that confusion healthy? Is that confusion of God? 1 Corinthians 14:33a says "for God is not a God of confusion but of peace..." Will not things flow better, work better, if God is the Author, and not us? Turning over this area of our life to God isn't something that is done to take away from us, but to fill us...to let God fill us with His love, with His peace, without confusion.

To trust in God, means to depend on God. To believe that He is going to work things out, whatever the circumstances. Not leaning on our own understanding is something that is very hard to do, but if Solomon -- a man far wiser than you or I will ever be -- found that trusting in God was the best way to go, how much more do you or I need to trust in God?

Trusting God in the way of relationships is a huge thing. Often times we tend to lean on our own understanding. It's easy to adopt the world's mentality that we're a "reject" or something of the sort if we aren't going out with somebody, or if we don't have a date Friday night. It would be very easy to depend on ourselves, on our "knowledge", in the way of relationships. We as humans sometimes forget that we don't know everything. Is it wise of us to depend on our "knowledge" in anything, especially in the area of relationships? Is it not far wiser to depend on the Creator of all relationships, the One who has given the most perfect example of a relationship to us?

We sometimes tend to think that we need to have a relationship with somebody now. God only shakes His head and says, "'For I know the plans that I have for you' and let me bring them about in My time, so that 'your joy can be made full.'" We would tend to think "I know what I want in a person." Yet God, with His everlasting patience, says gently, "I created you, I formed you in your mother's womb. I also created somebody special for you, and know whom I had for you before the foundations of the world. I know what you need, and it's far greater than you can imagine, far better than what you want." We sometimes tend to think that God is taking His time, moving so slowly. God only smiles, and says, "I know whom I have for you, but I also know you are not ready. I will bring them into your life, into your heart, when you are ready. In My time, beloved, not in yours."

Simply put, we need to let God be God. God is worthy of our trust, and allowing Him to do what He does is the best choice to make. So, let God be God in your life. It's what He does best. And trust in Him; it's the best we can do for ourselves.

-AT



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