Issues We Face



SIBLING RIVALRY

"I just hate it! She's pretty, funny, outgoing, and genuinely sweet."

"Everything comes so easily for him. Everyone likes him."

Does this sound familiar to you? Chances are that unless you’re an only-child, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if you wouldn’t consider you and your sibling(s) as rivals, you’ve probably thought something like the above statements at least at one time or another. It’s natural to compare yourself to your sibling(s), especially the closer you are in age. Oftentimes, you can’t help it. You feel like everyone expects you to be good at sports like your older brother, better in school like your little sister, etc…Or maybe it’s just you who expects so much of yourself…
All you know is that it seems you’re always in competition with your siblings, and you feel like you’re always losing. As if that’s not enough, you start feeling guilty on top of all that if your sister and/or brother is sweet and nice….innocent. What a mess! You CAN’T win like that…what do you do??

Sibling rivalry is NOT a new thing! The very first siblings who ever lived (Cain and Abel) have their own little story of sibling rivalry. Cain was so jealous of his brother and the fact that Abel’s sacrifice to God was favored above his, that he actually committed the first murder over the whole thing! Then we have the sisters, Rachel and Leah, that were both married to the same man. I can guarantee that caused some heavy-duty sibling rivalry! Rachel was favored by Jacob, because he loved her more, but for a long time it was only Leah that could give birth. Both sisters had a reason to envy the other one. Also, Jacob was favored above his older (twin) brother, Esau. He managed to obtain the birthright and first-son blessing (valued above most everything else!) through trickery. I’m sure that didn’t set well with Esau…

David declared his son, Solomon, as successor to the throne instead of his older son, Adonijah, who thought HE should be next in line to the throne. This made Adonijah angry enough that he went ahead and declared himself as king anyway. Afterall, it was rightfully his, right? NO! Good thing that whole plan was foiled! But I’m certain there was sibling rivalry in that family. Then there’s the story of the Prodigal Son. Obviously, the older brother felt cheated when his little brother received so much for coming home, even though HE hadn’t ever left but had always stayed faithful to his father!

This next example is probably the most famous show of sibling rivalry found in the Bible. Joseph had 10 older brothers, and yet he was clearly THE favorite one. He was favored by his father, his mother, and even by God. His brothers hated…deeply despised him for this. So what did they do? They sold him to a group of Ishmaelites who were passing through, then told their father that Joseph had been attacked by a wild animal.

We don’t need any more examples to see that siblings compared themselves to each other back in the Bible times too. But did any of these siblings figure out how to AVOID or CORRECT the rivalry??

Eventually, Jacob and Esau made up and corrected things between themselves. Though the Bible doesn’t specifically say so, I have to believe that Rachel and Leah came to terms with each other and the way things were at some point, perhaps after Rachel was finally able to have a child (well, actually 2 children). We don’t know whether the brothers in the story of the Prodigal Son ever healed the rift between themselves or not…

The best example we have of sibling rivalry that came to an end is the rest of the story of Joseph and his brothers. After Joseph was sold as a slave, he went through a lot, but God’s hand was on his life the whole time. Eventually, he ended up as the second in command over all Egypt. During a terrible famine, his brothers whom he hadn't seen in ages came to him to buy food from the supply that Egypt had. Joseph could have been angry, bitter, and full of vengeful plans for his brothers…but instead he completely forgave them and provided for their needs during the whole time of crisis! He even had his whole family move to Egypt to be with him.

So here’s the answer to our question. Start out by forgiving (and forgetting!) any wrongs, hurts, and troubles that your sibling(s) have caused you. Look for the GOOD in your sibling(s), and be genuinely happy for and proud of them instead of being jealous… Try your hardest not to compare yourself to them, and remember that God created each of us exactly how He wanted us! If there’s something you can change about yourself (ie. Being nicer, studying harder, working more at something…) it makes a lot more sense to change things than be resentful about them. And most of all, don’t look at your sibling(s) as competition, but as *friends*. Sibling friendships can actually be really great…so why don’t you give it a try. :)

Well, that’s all for now. I hope someone out there finds this helpful. God Bless! Have a Merry Christmas!

-HK



RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

A prevalent occurrence that I have seen taking place among Christians has recently been brought to my attention moreso than usual. As I turned to God and the Scriptures as to what I should do about it myself, and as to what God might have me say concerning this matter, I found more than I expected in answer to my question. Throughout this portion, I'll progress to my point, addressing some subpoints as well.

I'd like you to think with me a moment...who are you? Really think about it...who are you? Maybe you'll think I'm _______ (and fill in your name), or perhaps you'll think I'm a child of so and so, and think of your parents. As Christians, we are children of God. And, "you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you many declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light." (I Peter 2:5,9) So, according to I Peter, you're also part of a chosen people, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation. I Corinthians 3:16,17 says "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple." Here, we see that we are also a temple of the Holy Spirit.

In the Old Testament, particularly in the first five books, we can see how God set up the priests, how they had to purify themselves before they went into the temple of God, and how they were the “spiritual leaders” to the people of Israel. Likewise, we are called to be spiritual leaders, examples, to the rest of the world in which we live. In I Peter 2:15,16 it says “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’” Indeed, the priests purified themselves, in order to enter into God's presence being holy and blameless, and we, too, are called to be holy. Then the question arises, how then, can we be holy? We are made holy by the blood of Christ, so we can stand before God blamelessly, but Philippians 4:8 also gives insight as to how we should think: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.” As temples of the Holy Spirit, we should do nothing to defile that temple. Our words and thoughts and actions, they should be those that Christ would have us have. We are called to a higher standard as Christians, to be holy. Just the magnitude of it blows me away. But God doesn't expect us to do it alone, He helps us. And He does not give us any temptation except that which is common to man, and that which we do have, are able to be overcome.

Now, I come to the point of all this. If we are the aforementioned, especially if we are called to be holy and are temples of the Holy Spirit, what right have we to defile it? Just centering on one aspect of this matter, we as Christians can get caught up in the physical appearance of those of the opposite sex. At times we hear ourselves saying things like “Ooo...s/he is SOO fine!” or something of the like. But I question, is that holy? Is that edifying? Is that God-glorifying? Are we focused on the right thing? Or are we missing something? The latter part of I Samuel 16:7 says “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” As Christians, were called to be like Christ. To look at things as He does, to be different.

Ephesians 4:17-24 says: “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. You however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." When you became a Christian, you were engrafted into the promises of Israel. It's like you're spiritually Jewish. So, in this passage when Paul says that we should no longer live as the Gentiles, it can be taken as a reference to non-Christians. Basically, in this portion of Ephesians, Paul is saying that we should not act the way non-Christians do. To say things that are not edifying and building up, and are not Christ-like,...those are the kind of things “Gentiles” say. But we are called to be different. A royal priesthood, a holy nation. Children of God. And as children of God, we are to imitate our Father in heaven.

A phrase that used to be more popular a year ago is “What would Jesus do?” The phrase was often overused and abused, at least when I saw people say it, but if you seriously look at the phrase, it has great meaning to it. Now, would Jesus be so focused on the outward appearances of a person? Nay, rather He's concerned with the soul. I encourage all of you, and I too need to do this, to strive to look at things the way God does, and to love people as they are. To focus on the inner person, and not to get wrapped up with physical appearance. It's hard not to get wrapped up in it, I know that, especially since society is so focused on it....but we are called to be different, and God supplies us with the strength to carry out His will. And His will is that we be more like Him.

I implore of you, both guys and girls, to look for what is important. To not get caught up in things of this world, but to be different. Not only when around non-Christians, but also when around your brothers and sisters in Christ. Be “salt and light” and “...Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). Love one another, and edify each other, and God will bless you mightily. For He says “Those that honor Me, I will honor” (I Samuel 2:30).

-AT



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