Issues We Face



LOVE OR LUST?

One of the most confused, mistaken, and misrepresented issues we face today is the difference between love, lust, infatuation, affection, and the “simple” crush. Often the lines between the above examples become shady and even seemingly intertwined. But a distinction must be made, for love and lust are NOT the same thing and lust is a dangerous trap to fall into. Sometime I will write an in depth special insert article on this subject, but for now let’s take a look at what the Bible has to say regarding this issue and also how those in the Bible times dealt with it.

An obvious example of lust that took control and caused a whole lot of problems is David’s adulterous act with Bathsheba. When David looked down from the rooftop and saw Bathsheba bathing below, it wasn't love that caused him to send for her. That was lust. He even asked someone who was there at the time if he knew whom the lady was, and the person answered, “Isn’t that Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” David KNEW it was wrong to commit adultery with this woman, but he did it anyway. And the consequences were very high because he ignored what he knew was right and followed after what he knew was wrong.

Soloman had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 others who were concubines. Do you think he actually loved them all? Not the way that God intended for one man and one woman to love each other obviously… And his many wives ended up turning him away from his devotion to God. Even if he did love them all, none were the type of relationship that God wants for us…

Was it love that caused Amnon (another son of David) to rape his half-sister, Tamar? He thought so. He said he was intensely in love with her so he just had to have her. But after he raped her, the Bible says that he hated her with more intensity than he had loved her to begin with. Love doesn’t change suddenly like that, neither does it force with violence. That was selfishness…selfishness driven by his lust and sinful desires.

Maybe we should back up a bit and take a look at the Biblical definition of love found in 1 Corinthians. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love never fails...” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

And here’s a little tidbit from God’s Word concerning lust… “For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boastings of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away but the man who does the will of God lives forever.” (1 John 2:16-17) And 1 Peter 4:3 says, “For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing, and detestable idolatry.”

Lusting is basically strongly desiring something that you can’t (or shouldn’t) have…mainly referring to sexual desires, but the Bible also uses it in the context of those who lust (desire) after the idols of other people. The Bible says that all such lusts are of the world and have no place in the Christian’s life. We all know that lust is not a good thing though, right? But that doesn’t make it any easier to confront or control. And for many teens and adults alike lust is a very real issue that they must deal with regularly…even constantly.

But how? How can we control our lustful thoughts, actions, desires etc. instead of allowing them to control us? What does the Bible say regarding that? We saw examples of even “godly” men who fell into the trap of lust and paid for it dearly. We saw the effects of their sins and bad choices… But how can we apply this to our lives and stand against lust today? How can we learn from their mistakes without having to follow in their footsteps?

Joseph (in the Old Testament) was tempted to sleep with Potipher’s wife when she approached him and demanded that he must. He could have given in, but he fled. He ran away so quickly that he left his robe in her hands, which she used against him later on. Now, running from temptation may sound cowardly or even just unrealistic, but I think it is good advice. Don’t let yourself get caught in a situation where you are tempted to lust or worse, act in your lust. Turn from them, ignore them, avoid them, flee if you have to.

It’s not worth it to compromise when God has something better for you waiting for His timing. You see, that’s the difference between lust and love… We see it all throughout the Bible and we see it all the time today. Lust is acting in your own time and desires, following your own limited knowledge, doing what you want regardless of the outcome, and it ends in heartbreak and often worse than that. Love is waiting for God’s timing, God’s chosen, His plans, and His perfect will with your very best interest in mind.

One last thing about lust… Matthew 5:28 says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Even lustful thoughts, whether they ever produce any actions or not, are against God’s commands. You may think that it doesn’t matter since you’re not going to act on your thoughts so they won’t ever be revealed, but God still sees them. He still knows your heart and your “secret” desires. And He says that they are just as sinful as committing adultery!

The good thing is that we as Christians are under the blood and when we repent from our lust (or any other sins) God is faithful and just to forgive us from our sins and to cleanse us from all our unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) Lust is a serious thing, but with God’s help you can overcome it, be forgiven, and turn completely away from your sinful desires. No, it’s not easy…turning away from any sin is never easy, but if God is on our side, what can stand against us? The best thing is that we can not only resist lust, but we can walk in love as an alternative.

If you are dealing with lust right now, know this: You are not alone… God is right there with you and He can help you through it if you will do your part. You can resist and flee from opportunities where you are tempted to think sinfully. Then fill your mind with Godly thoughts and ideas. Pray, pray, and keep praying. God will help you through if you sincerely want help, but it will take effort on your part as well. And be willing to wait…wait for love, true love. Lust is just a cheap imitation of the love God made and intended for us to have. His love is pure, and it never fails!

-HK-

NOTE: If you have a suggestion of an "issue" that you think should be discussed in this section in the future, please let me know! All suggestions are welcome! You can email me: sonflower_16@yahoo.com . Thanks!



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