While cleaning out my desk the other day, I ran across a printout I had gotten at a health fair. Ten years ago. Without going into the depressing details, let's just say that my weight and body fat percentage have increased somewhat since my twenties. Nostaglia aside, it wasn't the most cheerful thing I could have run across.
Not that I was a bit surprized by the numbers. I still remember the exact moment I looked in the mirror and saw that my girl's body had been replaced overnight. Everything was rounder, fuller, and...well...lower than before. I was looking at a woman, not a girl. I am still getting over the shock.
Other changes snuck up on me. One day I was seventeen and the next I noticed that all my makeup had words like 'age defying' and 'revitalizing' on the label. Going without lipstick was no longer an option. Skipping the moisturizer was out of the question.
I miss the way I used to look. I feel that my husband, whom I met in my late thirties, was somehow cheated by not getting to see me in my prime, when my thighs didn't jiggle more than my breasts. I wax nostalgic for the days when I could wave without worrying about the person standing behind me being injured by the backlash from my upper arms.
And yet, there are unexpected benefits to being older. Although I was prettier when I was younger, I am much more comfortable with my looks now. I spend less time on makeup. I hardly ever spend more than 15 minutes on my hair. I care less about how I look and more about how I feel, and even more about how I make others feel. I have learned that people remember what I say more than what I wear.
And most importantly, I have learned that you can never underestimate the value of a really good pair of control top hose and a push-up bra.