AN ARTIST IS BORN

BORN PERFECTIONIST -Although mother begins labor early Friday June 19th... I decide being born on a full "BLUE" moon a much more appealing aesthetic experience...Mother endures 30+ hours of labor.

COLOR CO-ORDINATION SKILLS ENHANCED -(Dearborn during the Hubbard Administration) Mother decides a local Catholic preschool will enhance socialization skills. Second day of school, artistic daughter colors Jesus a dark brown with flaming red hair. After stubborn refusal to hand picture over to the Sister... Mother is called at work...end of preschool.

PERFORMANCE ART (Age 5)-Feeling need to entertain neighborhood ... I practice gymnastic leaps off my father's car... and ballet on the curb...Mother warns twice to stop. Tempting fate, I once more, spring from car hood and do an exquisite pirouette on the curb, spinning just in time to see mother coming out door with a ping pong paddle. After numerous laps around the yard, mother catches me while neighbors look on in amusement and awe at the spectacle I create.

FIRST SCULPTURE LESSON (Age 7)-Mom asks me to watch 2 month old brother on the bed as she goes to rid house of dirty diaper. Thinking he needs entertained... I turn bed into trampoline...baby brother bounces face first to the floor. He gets a new nose...I a re-shaped bottom.

GETS CRASH COURSE IN ABSTRACT ART -Second grade teacher bears strong resemblance (as well as temperment) to the wicked witch of the west in "Oz." Sporting a thick head of salt/pepper hair with a large patch of silver on one side of her head... I ask her to explain to the class why she did her hair in such fashion. Budding artist misses a lot of recesses and lunches that year learning to focus on her own imperfections.

LEARNS HOW "NOT" TO DEAL WITH THE CRITICS -Fifth grade male teacher despises my independant nature, decides I need lesson in conformity. During class baseball game he calls me out while quite apparently safe to the whole class. Argument ensues, both refuses to cede.. trying to emphasize his lack of ethics...I call him a "damn liar." I get sent to the principals office to wait for father. Father tries hard not to laugh...mother tries hard not to cry... I tried my best to get out of the month long grounding. Plenty of time to reflect on the point that it is sometimes wiser to stay mute when dealing with blatent ignorance.

FIRST WOODCARVING LESSON -(6th Grade)-Riding on back of aunts foot-pedal-less trailbike ..loses balance after hitting bump, slamming face first into a large oak tree. One hour of bark removal and 3 weeks hospitalization follows.

GEOMETRICAL DESIGN -At Jr. High Graduation-doors are locked so if anyone leaves to go up town, they can't get back in for ceremony. Four of us figure out how to get our newly rounded pubescent figures out a small rectangle push-out bathroom window (while dressed in ball-gowns), AND back through just in time to get diplomas.

LINEAR PERSPECTIVE -(10th Grade)-Parents move us from beautiful 40 acres of pine trees and ponds, to a house in town. Cannot look out sliding glass doors without seeing High School. Need I say more.

CERAMICS "70's" STYLE -Never learns to use the wheel properly, but finds lucrative business hand-crafting designer "stones."

THE HAZY "DAZE" OF FIBER CLASS (11th Grade)-Discovers numerous uses for natural fibers... becomes astute in the use of one in particular.

BECOMES "ARTIST IN RESIDENCE" (12th Grade)-Artistic talent sought after by all sects of students to make posters promoting up-coming week-end "events."

PERFORMANCE ART RE-VISITED -Following High School Graduation-acquires a 70' Fastback Mustang Boss. Racks up numerous speeding tickets within the year for drag racing. After 3 months of punishment (loss of driving privilege) gets license back only to return to former bad habit. After one late night Victory race, heads out of town with friend only to see a car fast approaching. Thinking it is the "loser" of last race... puts 'stang into "performance mode." Not bothering to look back again..drives at unmentionable speed to local country club golf course and waits for other car to come into view. Ended up being State Police, one of which thankfully knew my father, earning me an 8 point ticket instead of an arrest. Loses licence for second time that year...Have since behaved myself.

PAINTS FUTURE -One year after graduation, realizes school wasn't such a bad deal. Goes to visit high school art teacher...finds out about 1 year art scholarship at local community college. Without portfolio and just one "bizarro" painting framed in 150 year old barn wood...seeks out professor. Hell with the 1 year scholarship...he gave me 2 years...and my first "appropriate" step into the world of art.
*****Mother Recently informs her daughter it wasn't one scholarship, but 2 that daughter flagrantly tosses aside. Although I argue point of "only one," Mother reminds daughter she was lucky to remember anything from that time period. Debate closed!

INTRO TO FUNK (18 Years later)-Mental state I am experiencing after finally figuring out what direction to go artistically... But also coming to the realization that it can't be accomplished by staying where I am at now.

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