President Clinton will give "no more apologies", say White House spokesmen. Having apologized to practically everyone and prayed before a group attending a White House prayer breakfast last Thursday, the president has decided it's time to get down to splitting fine legal hairs about whether or not he "technically lied" to the Grand Jury in the Paula Jones case.

In the meantime, the one person mysteriously quiet on the entire matter of the Starr Report has been Monica Lewinsky. Speculation has been that she is holding out for the "big bucks" before she makes any statements.

Meanwhile, right-winger poster girl Helen Chenoworth (Idaho Republican), was hoist on her own indignant petard when it was revealed that she had an affair with a married man some years ago. The expose' of her affair, plus the confession of Dan Burton to having fathered a child out of wedlock, have led members to pontificate less and consider more carefully their own response to the Starr Report. These startling revelations only lead to the axiomatic conclusion that people who live in glass houses shouldn't.

And all across America, taxpayers are questioning the motives and what might lie behind Ken Starr's seven-year and $40 million relentless pursuit of something to use to humiliate the president. "No matter how much we might want it to," commented one writer, "this isn't going to go away."