Do's & Uhuh's
This is a very unprofessional list, as is most of the stuff of my own that I will put on my ED pages. They come from my own experiences, and my own version of common sense, which has been known to be quite blunt. No bush beatings going on here. If anyone has a problem with anything I put on this list, just
drop a line, and I'll do my best to rectify matters. However, if it is merely a problem of personal preference or disagreement, it probably won't be changed. What I am looking for are glkaring errors and boo boos here. That said, let's get on with it.
The List
1) When someone first tells you that they have an eating disorder, do not freak out. The reason they are telling you in the first place is because they trust you enough that you will *not* overreact.
2) Don't go off telling them about all they're doing to you as their friend. It is nothing compared to what they are doing to themselves, and besides, they don't need you to make them feel like shit because of you saying you're doing something bad to them. They do a good enough job of making themselves feel like shit, maybe too good of a job....
3) Threatening to take them to a hospital or clinic will *not* help. It may in fact hurt them even more, as some hospitals out there do not know how to deal with someone with an ED. Instances I have heard of include forcing food down their throats, taking all their clothes and forcing them to get used to what their bodies look like. Doesn't work, and frightens more people away when they hear about this sorta thing.
4) Listen. Sure, it's a simple thing to do, but it helps in ways you don't know, as far as I've heard. Don't force opinions, but provide advice when it's asked for. Most of all, keep your ears, mind, and heart open, ok?
5) Do not, I repeat, do *NOT* be the Food Police. Watching your friend as they are eating to make sure that they eat, and gluing yourselves to them to make sure that they don't purge, is a surefire way to make them feel like their freedom has been taken away. It makes them feel like they are not allowed to look after themselves any longer, which is degrading for anyone.
6) Remember that there will be bad days and good days for your friend. Be there for them on both forms of day, and let 'em know that you are there for them whenever they need someone to talk to, or just to shoot the shit.
7) Remember that this is a wholly incomplete list, which will be added to, edited, taken away from, and recompiled at any time. Check back about once a week or so, because that is the most I'll be able to do stuff.
Well, this is a start to my list of things to do/say and not do/say when a friend tells you about their ED, or after they tell you. Any comments can be sent to laggy@hotmail.com.
Here is a new one added. This is called the
Scum of the Month Club. It deals mainly with people or businesses who show an unworldly insensitivity toward ED's and the people who have them. This si stuff I've found myself, so it isn't in dispute.