DREAM TOURNAMENT IV: HOW DO I VOTE?
WHERE DO I GET DREAM TOURNAMENT POSTS?
--------------------------------------
All installments of the Dream Tournament will be available at the
following resources:
1) posted as they come out in the alt.games.sf2, alt.games.mk,
rec.games.video.arcade, rec.games.video.sony, and the rec.games.video.sega
newsgroups.
2) ftp to brawl.ecom.net --> /pub/dream-tournament/IV/
3) go to http://dt4.ecom.net (Best choice)
HOW DO YOU DETERMINE WHO WINS?
------------------------------
The winner is determined by a simple majority vote. Any "DRAW" or
"DKO" (Double Knockout) votes act to lower the margin of victory.
HOWEVER:
Before, in the Dream Tournaments, *any* draw or DKO vote acted to raise
the margin between competitors, and thus led to a *lot* of draws and
DKOs. This, my friends, is unacceptable. Thus, I've tweaked the hell out
of the rule.
Therefore, the draw and DKO votes will be counted separately now.
For example:
Ryu gets 4 votes. Ryo Sakazaki gets 2 votes. There is one draw vote and
one DKO vote. Under the old rule, the two draw/DKO votes close the
margin of victory. Under the new rule, neither rule has the numbers to
close the margin by itself, so Ryu wins this match.
Any "ties" (like five draw and five DKO votes in a match that ends in one
of them) will result in a draw. Double knockouts should be rare; after
all, how often have you gotten them? Draws are slightly more common, but
they're still the hen's teeth of the fighting world.
This'll make more sense once it's implemented, I swear. Hopefully, this'll
mean less draws/DKOs.
HOW DO I VOTE?
--------------
Go to http://dt4.ecom.net/ballot.htm and fill out the form you find
there.
E-MAIL VOTES TO HUNTER, EMERALD, OR WANDERER WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED OR
COUNTED!
HOW DO I JOIN THE MAILING LIST?
-------------------------------
Until it is set up automatically, e-mail either hunter@ecom.net,
wanderer@ecom.net, or emerald@linguist.dartmouth.edu and ask to be put on.
And now, on with the show!
*** "Welcome, all, to the reopening of Dream Tournament IV!" Wanderer
said from his space in the announcers' booth. "My name is Thomas Wilde,
better known as Wanderer, and I'll be providing play-by-play during these
seven matches, with technical support given by Hunter!"
"Um...hi..." Hunter said into his mike. He was busy fooling with
something mechanical.
"Covering the matches from ringside will be official Crazy Bast-"
Hunter poked him, "-I mean, Man On The Floor Kevin 'Emerald' Kanda!"
Wanderer
continued.
"Thank you, Wanderer. This is Emerald, down at the ringside watching
our competitors go through their pre-fight workouts. You can see how
dedicated these warriors are, folks; this first day is going to be one
hell of an event. Tensions are running high here, and judging from our
first fight, I have only one thing to say: I have no earplugs, no
aspirin, and I'm not getting paid *near* enough for this."
"Thank you, Emerald," Wanderer said. "Fourteen fighters, against all
odds, have survived through the first three rounds, and the fighting
today is expected to be intense. Our first match, though, is perhaps the
most heavily anticipated of them all."
From the locker rooms, a series of wolf-whistles began, rising like a
wave throughout the DreamArena until it seemed that a flight of birds had
entered. Quietly, Wanderer turned up a dial on the board before him,
cueing up a certain theme song.
~o/ Come along but I don't know where you're taking me/I shouldn't
go
but you're wrenching dragging shaking me/turn off the sun pull the stars
from
the sky/the more I give to you the more I die...\o~
Trent Reznor's voice heralded the arrival of the last Darkstalker in
the tournament, who flew in through the doors a moment later. Her "wings"
spread wide, the force of her presence causing nosebleeds as far as the
seventieth row, Morrigan entered with a vengeance.
"Yes, folks, Morrigan Arnsland is back after a few months off, ready to
get back into action! She's the only competitor from Darkstalkers left in
this tournament, and she's got a tough fight ahead of her, in the form of
the 'Legend,' of Samurai Shodown fame, Haohmaru! Let's see what happens!"
MATCH 1: HAOHMARU (SS3) vs. MORRIGAN ARNSLAND (DS2)
Morrigan floated majestically down to the ring, watching Haohmaru
meditate calmly on the other side of the platform. She simply began
stretching without a word (and, disappointingly from a ratings viewpoint,
without the slightest bit of 'cheesecake'), knowing from experience the
ronin's (legendary, no doubt) willpower; she would not be able to tempt
her way out of this match.
She assumed her stance, and waited. Before long, Haohmaru leaped to his
feet, his sword swinging around him in great circles, slicing up the two
stone lanterns that someone had placed to either side of him. He had
reached...
"ENLIGHTENMENT!" Sake flew along the length of his blade. "THERE WAS NO
REAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EITHER OF THE ACTORS WHO PLAYED CHRIS ON 'THE
PARTRIDGE FAMILY,' SINCE THE WHOLE SHOW WAS GARBAGE!" He seemed, at this
point, to notice Morrigan. "HA! I BID YOU GREETINGS TO THE LOCATION OF
YOUR DEATH, DEMONESS! ALTHOUGH IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE
FOUGHT ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE HERE AT THE LEGENDARY (ALBEIT NOT QUITE SO
MUCH SO AS MYSELF) DREAM TOURNAMENT, I HAVE TRAINED HARD IN MY TIME OFF,
USUALLY BY CHALLENGING AMAKUSA TO A DUEL (WHICH I ALWAYS WIN OF COURSE,
SINCE NO LOATHSOME WIZARD SUCH AS HIM IS CAPABLE OF DEFEATING A LEGEND
SUCH AS MYSELF, NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE TELEPORTS AROUND)--" a few
platforms away, Amakusa's indignant yell was drowned out by Haohmaru
continuing, "-AND AS THAT HAS GOTTEN TO BE LITTLE SPORT FOR A LEGEND SUCH
AS MYSELF, I HAVE LOOKED FORWARD TO GREATER OPPONENTS BEING PLACED
BEFORE ME ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE, SUCH AS YOURSELF! I HAVE TAKEN ACCOUNT
OF YOUR PERFORMANCE HERE IN THE PAST, AND I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS WILL BE
A FIGHT LIKE NONE YOU HAVE EVER LOST BEFORE! AFTER ALL, I AM THE
LEGENDARY HAOHMARU, AND I HAVE NEVER LOST A DUEL (SAVE FOR THE OCCASIONAL
EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCE) SINCE I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD! IF YOU HAVE ANY
KIN YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO PASS YOUR FINAL WORDS ON TO, SUCH AS YOUR
SISTER--"
"DON'T. MENTION. MY. SISTER." Morrigan was now positively seething.
"--I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO DO SO, FOR THAT IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF
MY LEGENDARY GENEROSITY AND MANNERS! NOW, FOR ALL OF MY FANS WATCHING ME
FIGHT, WHETHER HERE OR AT HOME, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT NONE OF MY
LEGENDARY FIGHTING STYLE SHOULD BE TRIED AT HOME WITHOUT TEN TO TWENTY
YEARS UNDER THE TUTELAGE OF A GOOD SENSEI, SUCH AS MY OWN LEGENDARY
MASTER CAFFEINE NICOTINE! I CAN SEE WHY ONE WOULD WANT TO EMULATE THE
FIGHTING STYLE OF THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU, FOR I AM, AFTER ALL, THE
MIGHTIEST FIGHTER WHO EVER LIVED, BUT--"
Haohmaru continued to prevaricate. Meanwhile, over on the next
booth,
King was stretching, sipping her pre-fight drink, when a shadow loomed up
from behind her. Suddenly, a net was flung over her head. She struggled in
vain as she was trussed up like a turkey and flung over the side of the
ring.
Genjuro, letting go of King, smiled in satisfaction. While he was
prohibited from actually *fighting* outside the ring, nothing prevented
him from tying up another fighter and rendering her unable to compete.
The small problem of his opponent for this round taken care of, he drew
in an enormous breath and screamed "H A O H M A R U !!!"
"--FOR THAT WAS THE WAY I WAS WHEN I WAS TWELVE, THE LEGEND'S WAY,
THE
WARRIOR'S WAY, THE EISENHOWER EXPRESSWAY--OH. HM. WHAT DO YOU WANT,
GENJURO?"
Genjuro began to tremble. "I will not wait another moment! You die
*now*, honorless dog!"
Up in the booth, Wanderer and Hunter looked at Genjuro, looked at
each
other, and, in perfect unison, said: "Uh-oh."
"IF YOU WOULD JUST WAIT A FEW MORE MINUTES, GENJURO, I HAVE TO DEAL
WITH THIS DEMONESS FIRST, AS HAS BEEN MANDATED BY THE HONORABLE
TOURNAMENT MASTERS, AND SEND HER SCREAMING BACK TO THE NETHERWORLD OF
JIGOKU WHENCE SHE CAME!"
"HEY!" Morrigan protested. "I'm not from there! I'm from *Scotland*!
Cold, yes, but hardly hell!"
Haohmaru somehow managed to legendarily ignore her. "THEN, WHEN AND IF
YOU HAVE DEALT WITH YOUR OPPONENT, THE MIGHTY KING (WHOSE PROWESS IS SUNG
AND STORIED OF ACROSS THE LAND, YET EVEN IF A THOUSAND TIMES THE TALES
WERE TOLD OF HER, SHE WOULD ONLY BE A FRACTION OF THE LEGEND THAT I AM),
WE MAY THEN MEET ON THE FIELD OF COMBAT, WHERE YOU WILL LOSE AS YOU HAVE
SO MANY TIMES BEFORE TO MY LEGENDARY BLADE! TRULY, I WONDER WHY YOU ARE
IN SUCH A HURRY TO DO BATTLE WITH ME, FOR YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU WILL
FAIL TO DEFEAT ME (THAT IS I, THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU) AND THUS BE BLOCKED
FROM CONTINUING FURTHER IN THIS TOURNAMENT!"
Genjuro's vision was obscured by a haze of red. "I WILL NOT WAIT ANY
LONGER!"
"Tough cookies, handsome." Morrigan moved (slinked, actually) slowly
between Genjuro and Haohmaru. "I saw him first, and he doesn't go any
further than me. So why don't you run along and get ready for--"
*WHAM*
Her eyes rolled up in her head and Morrigan fell over, after being
clocked between the eyes by the pommel of Genjuro's sword.
Genjuro jumped up to the platform, kicking Morrigan's limp body off of
it, and took his place opposite Haohmaru.
"HA! YOU HAVE GREAT COURAGE, GENJURO, AND GREAT RESOURCEFULNESS, EVEN
IF YOU ARE USING IT FOR THE PURPOSE OF GETTING INTO AN UNWINNABLE FIGHT
WITH A LEGEND SUCH AS MYSELF (WHICH PLACES SOME DOUBT AS TO YOUR MENTAL
HEALTH)!" *slurp* *ptui* Sake flew down the length of Haohmaru's blade.
"I ALMOST ADMIRE YOU FOR YOUR INABILITY TO ACCEPT YOUR SHEER LACK OF
SKILL AS OPPOSED TO MY LEGENDARY TALENT WITH A BLADE, BUT NOT REALLY--"
"SHUT UP!" Genjuro slashed out at Haohmaru, who easily parried.
"YOU ARE BOLD, GENJURO! HAVE AT YOU!" Haohmaru's blade flicked out
with
every bit of the speed Genjuro's had, and met a similar fate against
Genjuro's sword. Sparks flew.
"Shut up, you loser!" Genjuro drew in a deep breath. "You are such a
loser that your very blade feels ashamed to be wielded by a loser such as
yourself and I will defeat you here on inter-universal pay-per-view and
make you look silly in front of billions and then you will be out of the
tournament and I will sheath my sword and leave it in my room and use
your dead body as my weapon and bludgeon my way to the tournament crown
and even though Ukyo will try and stop me he won't be able to because he
is nearly as big of a loser as yourself and sick to boot and I will be
the champion and then I will cut your head off and shove it down your
throat and kick you in the crotch so you cough your head back up and then
I will attach a rope to your head and attach the other end of the rope to
a long pole and stick the pole in the ground and play tetherball with
your head and then I will go to Gairyu Isle and get Oshizu and get her to
play tetherball with me and although she will not want to at first she
will eventually come around because tetherball is really fun-"
"*There's* the Genjuro I know!" Wanderer said with a smile. "I was
afraid that those diction classes he took between SS2 and 3 had dulled his
edge."
"It would seem that they haven't," Hunter observed quietly.
"BE CAREFUL, GENJURO, FOR YOU RUN THE RISK OF AWAKENING MY LEGENDARY
ANGER (OF COURSE IT DOES NOT COME OUT VERY OFTEN BECAUSE TO GET ANGRY IS
FOR NON-LEGENDS) WHEN YOU TALK OF THE FAIR OSHIZU LIKE THAT IN
CONJUNCTION WITH YOURSELF, FOR SHE IS MY BELOVED AND BETHROTHED, AND AS
SUCH SHE IS A LEGEND BY ASSOCIATION WITH ME (FOR THE WOMAN WHO CAN TAME
THE LEGENDARY WOMANIZING OF THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU IS A LEGENDARY WOMAN
INDEED) AND IS FAR TOO GOOD FOR THE LIKES OF YOU, AND IT WOULD NOT
SURPRISE ME THAT IF YOU WERE TO COME NEAR HER SHE WOULD SEIZE HER FRYING
PAN AND BEAT YOU LIKE THE UNLEGENDARY RED-HEADED STEPCHILD YOU ARE--"
Meanwhile, up in the booth, Wanderer and Hunter were having a
discussion. "So. What do we do about this?" Wanderer asked.
Hunter thought about it. "Do *you* want to go down there?"
"Nope."
"Me neither. I tried asking one of the brute squad, but even they're
smart enough not to go down there, and I've seen a brute try to fight an
oncoming thunderstorm. So I guess we have to rearrange the schedule."
"Sounds good to me." Wanderer turned to the commlink. "What do you
think, Emerald?"
"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! THEY'RE YELLING TOO LOUD!"
"I think he approves."
Hunter smiled. "I agree."
MATCH 1: HAOHMARU (SS3) vs. GENJURO (SS3)
CLANG! WHOOSH! CLANG! WHAM!
"--and when we're done playing tetherball I will take Oshizu back to
Gairyu Isle and tell her to wait for me and she will because she'll
already be in love with me and will have forgotten you and I will come
back here and pick up my trophy and your body and I will take them back
home and I will put the trophy in my house and I will put your body in a
display case and I will tour Japan with it and say this is the 'Rolling
Thunder Wussy Review' and show everyone your dead body and say that you
were a huge loser and they will agree with me and I will make a lot of
money because people will gladly pay to see the decapitated corpse of the
biggest loser in the world and I will use it to pay people to dig a big
hole and I will throw your body into it and then I will buy a whole bunch
of explosives from the same guy who drops bombs on us during fights and
then I will beat him up because I hate that guy because he blows me up
and I will use them to detonate the hole and cave it in on your headless
body and then I will dig your body out and slap it around--"
"--AS A MATTER OF FACT I REMEMBER THAT TIME WHERE YOU LAY IN WAIT FOR
ME IN THE VEGETABLE GARDEN OUTSIDE OUR HOUSE AND SQUASHED OSHIZU'S
MUSHROOMS WHICH SHE WORKS SO HARD ON AND SHE CAME OUT OF THE HOUSE BEFORE
I DID AND SAW YOU CROUCHING IN WAIT AND CAME BACK INTO THE HOUSE AND GOT
HER ROLLING PIN AND CHASED YOU AWAY WITH IT (INDEED, SHE IS A LEGENDARY
WOMAN, BUT NONE OTHER IS SUITABLE FOR ME, THAT IS I, THE LEGENDARY
HAOHMARU), AND I DIDN'T HEAR THAT YOU HAD BEEN AROUND UNTIL ABOUT TWO
WEEKS LATER WHEN SHE TRIED TO MAKE SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS FOR DINNER (HM,
THAT REMINDS ME, I'M HUNGRY, I MUST SEE WHAT'S AVAILABLE IN THE
COMMISSARY AFTER I'M DONE DEFEATING YOU IN THE QUICK AND PAINFUL MANNER
YOU DESERVE)--"
MATCH 2: MORRIGAN (DS2) vs. KING (KOF95)
"I wouldn't want to be Emerald right now," Hunter mused.
"You realize, of course, you are a cruel, cruel man," Wanderer started,
"making him be the one to wake up Morrigan. You know she'll kill the
first person she sees."
"Oh, I have faith in the big guy. After all, he did want to be the one
to get up close and personal with the fighters."
Down below, King stood calmly on the platform, sipping a martini
while
waving to the fans.
"Hey Emerald, is this match going to start or should I enjoy the
bye?"
the bouncer asked, "And why are you moving her like that?"
"King, the match will go on, and believe me, I have a great deal of
respect for you and your fighting capabilities. And that's why I feel
you'll be able to handle this better than I can."
"Handle what?" King asked quizzically.
"This." Emerald opened a small bottle of smelling salts, dropped it
right under Morrigan's nose, and catapulted himself off the platform.
Morrigan popped up, eyes flaring writh anger. "YOU DIRTY SON OF A
MOTHERLESS GOAT! BY THE TIME I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I WILL SHOW YOU SUCH
A LEGENDARY BEATING THAT YOUR *SWORD* WILL BE CRYING OUT IN PAIN (AND
BEING SUCH AN EXPERT WITH WHIPS AND CHAINS, I KNOW FROM WHENCE I SPEAK)!"
"Hey there, cute thing..." King slyly whispered.
"Huh?" Emerald said as he popped his head up.
"What?" Hunter asked in disbelief.
"Hey!" Wanderer stated as he pulled out his Watermelon Cannon (tm,
now
fitted for pumpkin ammunition to celebrate Halloween) and aimed it at
Hunter.
Morrigan's rage almost imploded as the boldness of King's statement
just hit her.
"Why worry yourself over a silly man? After all, you still have me
here, ready and able," King coyly continued.
Morrigan still didn't know what to make of things as the bell rang.
MATCH 3: TERRY BOGARD (KOF95) vs. GALFORD (SS3)
Galford came out to the roars of the crowd, his dog frisking along by
his side, spinning his sword between his fingers, electricity sparking
behind him as he went. As he had requested, there were twelve straw
dummies set up for him on the fighting platform.
From the ground, he did a double backflip up to the fighting
platform,
landing between the first two dummies, and executed a devastating figure-
eight slash with his blade, cutting both dummies in two. Before they fell,
he
spun around and incinerated both of them with Plasma Blades.
Disappearing in a flash of smoke, Galford spun down from the sky and
shredded a dummy into confetti. As he regained his feet, he pointed and
yelled "Go, Poppy!" The faithful wolfhound ran up the stairs and savaged
the hell out of the remaining dummy on that side, tearing out its
"throat" before rolling back to Galford's side.
The boy and his dog, working as a team, incinerated, slashed, bit,
piledrove, and beat every remaining dummy into ash and dust, weaving in
and out of the dummies' ranks in a dance of destruction. Electricity
arced constantly, and the sheer majesty of the resultant light show had
the audience on the edge of its collective seat. Finally, only one dummy
remained.
Galford came to rest before it, and smiled. (*ting!*)
He disappeared.
The dummy somehow managed to look scared.
Two Galfords came down from the sky, on either side of the dummy, and
the world turned into a flashing barrage of red and white behind him as
he unleashed every slash he knew upon the dummy, followed by a crackling
blast of electricity, and then leapt into the air with it clutched
between his selves.
"DOUBLE STRIKE HEADS!" he screamed, bringing the dummy down on its
noggin. The already-abused dummy gave up the ghost and disintegrated, its
ashes and straw swept up by the DreamArena's janitorial droids.
Acknowledging
the audience's roars, Galford sheathed his sword, bowed, and awaited the
arrival of his opponent in the ring.
About a minute later, it came, as Terry Bogard, in freshly pressed
jeans, came jogging out thunderous applause of his own. Running up the
stairs, he came to stand opposite Galford, adjusted his cap, and assumed
his fighting stance.
Galford looked shocked. "That's it?"
"What did you want me to do? Show off?" Terry was taken aback.
"So I guess," Wanderer noted, "this is a match between style and
substance."
"Style," Hunter said.
"Substance!" Wanderer protested.
"Style," Hunter maintained.
"Substance!" Wanderer objected.
MATCH 4: UKYO TACHIBANA (SS3) vs. KIM KAPHWAN (KOF95)
"Look, Sigfried!" squealed Sophitia. "Kim is helping Ukyo up the
aisle! He's so strong and so kind and he's on the side of right and
justice and he's sooo perfect for me-- do you think he'd..."
"He's married," grumbled the German, who was always fielding this
sort
of question from the Greek goody-two-shoes.
"Oh, fiddlesticks," sighed Sophitia. "Well, what about Ukyo? He's
soooo gorgeous, and really really sweet, and I could help him around and
cook bread for him and give him his medication and..."
"Taken," grumbled Siggy, and he continued after a pause, "why do I
put
up with your incessant slavering over every man you see?"
Sophitia turned to him and it seemed that a ray of light had descended
out of heaven to shine upon her face. Her big blue eyes fluttered at
Siggy. "Because you looooooove me and you want me for your own, I guess,"
she giggled.
Sigfried positively DETESTED it when she was right. As she began
commenting on Kim's perfect butt, he quietly excused himself to go bang
his head repeatedly against the nearest convenient concrete wall.
Down on the mat, Ukyo and Kim sized each other up and bowed. It
would
be a polite, but extremely deadly match.
MATCH 5: MAI SHIRANUI (KOF95) vs. HANZO HATTORI (SS3)
As Hanzo appeared in a puff of smoke, Mai bowed to him. "Good
afternoon!"
Hanzo nodded in her direction, and said nothing.
Mai was clearly excited. "I've been looking forward to this. After
all,
you're the best ninja around, and I've always wanted to test my skills
against the best."
"Because you're a ninja, correct?" Hanzo said quietly.
"Yup!" Mai smiled and bounced a little, causing a great deal of varied
male reaction throughout the DreamArena (and a boycott of the products
which advertise during the Dream Tournament by the American Family
Association).
"Wrong."
Mai's smile vanished. "What?"
"To be a ninja is to live in shadow and deal in stealth. Ninjas are not
known to any, but their deeds are felt by all. A ninja with a reputation
is dead or a legend," if Haohmaru hadn't been too busy to hear that,
Hanzo would never have said it, "whispered of in hushed and frightened
tones by the weak and fearful; their face is never seen and their voice
is never heard. You speak of your style to all who will listen, are known
by name to half the world, and dress in a manner that is assured-" Hanzo
cleared his throat, "-to get you attention."
Mai started to get upset. "Hey! I have a perfect right to dress how I
want, you fossil!"
"To say nothing of your lifestyle."
"Oh, this ought to be good."
"You have this 'fiance' of yours, for one thing, who you're
obviously
so in love with, and your friends, and some degree of happiness in your
life.
You have not lost anyone you care for recently. It has been this way for
quite some time."
"Yeah, so?"
"To be a ninja is to never know happiness save in brief spans of time.
I knew the greatest joy of my life when my son was born, but then my wife
was killed and my son taken to serve the twisted plans of Amakusa. Since
then, my life has been nothing but constant war, serving no one, existing
only for revenge against the wizard who ruined my life." Hanzo's tone was
matter-of- fact, as if he was discussing the weather. "That is how a
ninja's life is. Hence, you are not a ninja. You are a martial artist in
a revealing dress. Galford is closer to being a ninja than you are, and
that is saying a lot."
Mai drew a fan slowly out from her belt. "Listen to me, you ancient
depressing freak-" The bell rang to start the fight, and Mai charged.
MATCH 6: VERMILION (BAT2) vs. KUBIKIRI BASARA (SS3)
*click* *clack* *ka-CHAK*
Vermilion's guns were loaded and ready. He'd had a run of bad luck, but
at least he was still in the tournament, unlike the rest of his node.
This time, though, he wasn't even facing a boss character. This would be
almost childishly easy.
However...
"He's doing it again. Good gods." Wanderer turned to Hunter. "Use
the
computer and tell us where Basara is, would you? If he's not here in the
next--"
Basara appeared out of a portal of darkness, jumping up and landing
just in front of Vermilion.
"--two seconds...okay, never mind." Wanderer was bemused.
"I can't believe you didn't see that coming."
"Neither can I."
Basara laughed hysterically. "Do you think your little guns will
help
you against me? I am the walking dead!"
Vermilion's face bore the same strange half-smile it always did. "You
have that right, my friend." He slid the bolt home on his derringer.
"Unlike my other opponents, though, you have the courage to admit it." He
trained his shotgun on Basara's head. "Come get some."
MATCH 7: OMEGA RUGAL (KOF95) vs. AMAKUSA (SS3)
"Kuroko looks... different." Wanderer had just confirmed with the
black-clad officiator that everything was all set for the next,
potentially explosive match, but there had been something different about
his image on the viewscreen, something rather... nonfluid about him.
"Oh, that?" Hunter looked up from his tinkering with the arena
security computer, which, had it been done with anything less than his
trademark Tai-Chi-esque mellowness, could be described as frantic. At
least,
the unvoiced string of obscenities which he was attempting to send to the
computer telepathically was quite frantic. "Emerald and I came up with
that-
- we figured having Cyber-Kuroko call this one would be a good idea."
"Cyber-Kuroko?!?"
"Wasn't too hard. He just looks a bit..."
"Shinier," finished Wanderer. "That's what it was."
"Yep! Instead of his usual garb, he's in a full suit of powered armor
that looks just like his regulars." A look of satisfaction crossed
Hunter's face, but quickly left when it reached the other side. He
finished entering a few more parameters, and the display in front of him
lit up. The look of satisfaction was just about to come back when the
screen went totally blank, and though his expression didn't change,
Wanderer could have sworn he'd heard a whimper.
The screen in front of Wanderer flashed a picture of Emerald, who
seemed less cheerful than before. "I am NOT looking forward to this,
guys. Even on the other side of the forcefield, this is going to be
uglier than the slogans at a Trobriand Cricket Match. Uh, speaking of
which, there IS going to be a forcefield, right?"
Back up in the booth, Wanderer clicked off the mike for a moment,
looking extremely confused. "Cricket? What's he talking about?"
Preoccupied with his task at hand, Hunter just shrugged, and muttered
"He's an anthro major... he loves making obscure references... you do
the math." He kicked the console he was working on, and it pinged and lit
up. "Ah, there we go."
The center of the DreamArena was briefly enveloped in a hemisphere of
faint bluish light. Hunter sighed. "All set." He flicked the
forcefield off to allow entry to the two heavy hitters, and silently
chanted at the blasted thing to PLEASE come on again when asked.
Cyber-Kuroko was first on the field; his K.O.R.O.K.O. armor glinted
softly under the arena lights.
A helicopter somehow came down out of the rafters and deposited a
tuxedo-clad Rugal on the mat; seconds later, Amakusa's form blurred into
view.
"Rugal... There is something the Orochi never told you about your
great-great-great grandfather." Amakusa had, if possible, an even more
devilish look than usual in his eyes.
Rugal glared at the Heavenly Child of Shimabara. "They told me enough,
dark wizard. They told me that you seduced and destroyed him." He
coughed. "Now the murdered I could take, but seduced? That's getting a
bit out there. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but..."
"I DIDN'T SEDUCE HIM, I *AM* YOUR GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDFATHER!!! I
KEEP TELLING PEOPLE, I'M NOT FEMALE, AND I'M PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH
THE IRONIC JUXTAPOSITION OF THE WAY I DRESS AND WEAR MAKEUP AND THE FACT
THAT I'M A HETEROSEXUAL MALE (not that there's anything wrong with the
other options, mind you), SO KNOCK IT OFF!" Amakusa composed himself.
"Anyway, whelp, you know what that means, don't you? If you kill me, you
will create a timestream eddy that will wipe you out of existence.
Hahahahahaha!!! You might as well surrender now." With that, Amakusa
pulled his dark sorcerer's crystal out of a dimensional warp and smiled.
"Now, we can do this the easy way, or..."
"One question," said Rugal. "Have you fathered any children?"
"Why, the tales of my bedroom prowess are sung from Hokkaido to
Okinawa! I'm sure I have dozens, at lea-- Damn. I see what you mean. Oh
well, shall we just kill each other and the winner goes on to rule this
silly
little multiverse?"
"Sounds fine with me," said Rugal, as his mechanical hand shredded
his
jacket and shirt into nothingness.
****
"This," Wanderer said, for the sake of the viewing audience, "is
where it gets a little nuts."
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