Yet another Tinat story, if you haven't seen the other ones you probably
should :). This does follow the other stories directly and I do refer back
to them (esp. A Grail of Dreams and Shadow Born). If you haven't seen them,
try my web page.

http://www.oocities.org/SoHo/Lofts/6568/

As ever the characters and concepts you know and love belong to the nice people at Rhysher. Don't hurt me, I have no money. None.

**Warning: this story contains adult language, acts of torture, and non-explicit sex - it is not appropriate for children under thirteen without parental supervision**

"Hello John." I kneel by my husband's grave. He's a half a year dust and nearly a half-decade of hospitals before that. "I was thinking of you today. I remember the silly thing you used to do with the golf balls and the mines. Everyone was so sure you would die young, but you didn't. And yet you left me so damn soon." Seventy years old, my mad soldier, my beloved.

"A lot has happened since we last spoke. I'm with Adam now." Not saying Methos, because of the dangers of mentioning him in a public place. Even on holy ground. "He finally had to face down the old horsemen mess, maybe now we can lay the last of our ghosts to rest." I let my mind wander over the events of the half-year since I'd buried John. The images of Methos and Duncan MacLeod lingered.

"Anyway I just wanted you to know. Pray for me a little, Erishekgal keep you." I push to my feet and walk out toward my motorcycle. Something John would loved when he was young, but I bought it after his death.

I know I will not come back to this place. The life I had with John is over and though I will never forget him, I will rarely think of him again. So it is after the mourning.

As I left the cemetery I could feel the echo of Presence, but no one stepped forward

"O.K., how about Alexander the Great?" Richie's enthusiastic blue eyes look up at me expectantly. Hero-worship? Man, I hope not.

"Mad, beautiful, glorious, and eminently practical. I disguised myself as a boy just for a chance to ride under him." I smile at the memory and what happened after I had decided to see if he could except me as I really was, woman and immortal. Ride under indeed.

"Where you in a lot of wars?" Obviously hoping for some stories a la MacLeod.

"Fewer than MacLeod I'd imagine. I rode for Troy with Penthesilea and her Amazons. With Alexander of course. Eleanor of Aquitane on her crusades. I was in Italy during the second world war, but I think That's still classified. I took up arms in defense of a place I happened to be a couple of times when they were cultured enough or desperate enough to accept women. That's about it." Not much considering how long I've been wandering, but war was never really my thing.

"Hey Tinat, when you're done moldering let's see what you can do with that sword." MacLeod's voice calls from across the dojo floor. A challenge? Oh, happy day.

"Time to teach the kid some respect." I wink at Richie and pull out my blade.

Alright, I admit it, he's good. And he's got a hell of a lot more weight and reach. So I had to cheat - hey all is fair in a sword fight. I offer MacLeod my hand and get back a nasty look.

"You tripped me." Aw. Poor baby.

"You let me."

"You tripped me and you were going to kick me in the - in a place you shouldn't kick people." I throw back my head and laugh. And not nice laughter.

"Like I said, you let me. And guess who'd be walking away and who'd be shorter?" I seat myself on a bench.

"It was a spar, Tinat." He frowns in frustration.

"What makes you think I can't decide it isn't a spar MacLeod? You can't just trust-" I feel myself about to slip into lecture mode and pull back with a sigh. "Do what you want. I'm taking a shower." Alright, I'm being hard on him, but sometimes that boy just . . .

"What did you say to Mac? He's doing the tall dark and gloomy schtick again. I think he stormed off somewhere." Naturally Methos does not bother to knock before he wanders in on a girl taking a shower.

"Just pointing out the fallacies of trustworthiness." I rub a towel through my hair and pull out a bathrobe. Besides I wanted to win.

"Why? Do we know anyone trustworthy?" He grins and we shake our heads simultaneously.

"Right. So what's new and newsworthy?" I fasten the bathrobe, Methos casually reaches out and draws it open. Mmmmm . . . nice.

"All is well my lady of copper. Let me be the first to congratulate you on a week of actual quiet." He leans in to kiss me and the robe falls into a neglected heap. Bloody Satyr. Not that I'm complaining, mind.

Something about quiet. If you want it, make sure you're born mortal.

"Look buddy, I'm telling you she's not here! Now calm down." Richie's voice rises to fill the dojo. I nod to Methos and slip out to see the cause.

"Hello Robert." I can hear the ice invade my voice but it's better than the anger. The immortal is tall and thin. Handsome in the European mode.

"Julia." He bows over my hand and I allow him to graze it with his lips. I taste the name, Julia, once mine. It feels bitter, bitter.

"Julia is dead. What do you want?" Saying it, I feel better, like it truly was not me.

"Want? I had what I wanted, all those years ago. Also what you wanted. Don't you remember, my sweet Julia?" Like a poison, cold and bitter. It's been a long time since I was last afraid for my life. "Don't you still want it, even now?"

"You cannot do this! I will be lost, everything I am, please!" Julia Von Villiana cried out, muscles bunching to throw aside the crowd that dragged her through the streets. Her clothes were torn to shreds and she silently blessed the fact that no one saw her already healed scrapes. Then she sensed the presence of another of her kind, recognized him as the official executioner.

He stood in front of that device, the heads-man's block, cultured smile on his face. It changed to a frown when he saw her. It wouldn't do for her to be killed in his presence, not with a Quickening inevitable.

"Who is this woman?" He addressed the mob.

"Evil! Evil!" "No! No! She is a witch!" "A devil brought her back from the dead!" "She is a Protestant!" The hydra mob called out, dragging her body before him. Most of the village had turned out for the nightmarish carnival. The man kept control, latching on to one statement.

"If she is truly a witch, the axe will not stop her. Let her burn!" Julia screamed and pushed her captors aside. But her sword had been lost in the struggle and there were many of them. So she only took some of their lives before they bound her.

She remembered screaming when the flames reached her flesh. The wood was green and it took a very long time.

"I want nothing from you Robert. Just leave. Or else kindly step outside, and we can proceed." I let my teeth show. You can call it a pleasant smile if you want.

"Don't worry, I have no intention of killing you. I only came to see how you have fared, my sweet Julia." It takes an effort to control the shaking. I remember his hands on my flesh.

"Look buddy. If I were you, I would leave." Richie bristles from the sidelines.

"Keep your puppy in check or he'll get hurt. And fear not, we will meet again." With that he turns and leaves. Talk about melodrama. I wish I knew he couldn't back it up. I idly slam my fist through the wall and then wipe the blood from my knuckles. Pain and pleasure, pleasure and pain.

"Do you like it?" The tall man smiled down at his tiny wife, now engulfed in billowing green silk.

"It's wonderful! Frederick, it's the loveliest gown I've ever seen!" Julia spun around on her toes and laughed. Lost in the delight of her mortal husband it seemed true, though she had worn gowns spun of gold and silver in her time.

"You wearing it makes it beautiful, my Julia." He swept her up into his arms and she let herself rest there for an instant. Then she frowned as she felt the buzz invade her awareness.

"Frederick is someone expected?" Then she saw the man enter their drawing room. He was tall and aesthetic, next to tall bulk. Dark haired and handsome. She disliked him instantly, and she was rarely wrong.

"This is Robert. He provided the silk, all the way from Venice. Robert, my Lady Von Villiana." Robert bowed and Julia allowed him to kiss her hand.

"It is an honor to make the acquaintance of a fine lady such as yourself."

"I thank you for your efforts, Herr Robert. The silk is most fine." They made pleasant conversation over tea and then dinner. Julia watched Robert impress her Frederick with his fine talk but could not interest herself in it.

Lately she had begun to felt something in her stir, something old, old, and long forgotten. She was afraid and she did not know why.

Seacouver- Present Day

"Who was that guy?" Richie pointedly ignored my assault on the wall. And I ignored him because I could not bear to talk and sat with my face in my hands trying not to remember, because it wasn't me, not really. Julia is dead. Dead.

"Tinat? Who was it? Is something wrong?" Methos steps into the room, hazel eyes focused on me. Damn, if anyone would be able to ferret out the whole story. Maybe I should just stall him.

"Don't worry about it." I force myself to say. I don't want to talk. I need to focus, breathe in, breathe out. To keep things away. To keep her away. I am not Julia.

"Tinat." Methos begins then stops. He lays a hand on my shoulder and I flinch from his grasp involuntarily. Bad move, now he knows that something is seriously off.

"Methos," I hear my voice from a distance, "I don't want to be here, I can't do this. I want to go home." He lifts me up as if I were a little girl and carries me to his car. I cling to his chest, afraid like I've never been. Not since I was Julia.

Was I Julia?

Bavaria- April 30, 1560

"Frederick, it is a perfect day! Let us go riding!" Julia looked longingly out the window into the spring sun.

"Of course, beloved." Frederick smiled down at the vibrant red head and called the servants to order the horses saddled. Neither of them had heard about the bandit disturbances, but then they wouldn't have worried about it anyway.

"Jon, what are you doing! Come back here child!" Annilise, the herb picker, called her four-year-old son fruitlessly. finally she stood up from her work and moved to pull him to her. Then she saw what he had seen in the bushes. It took a long time to get the blood out of his clothes. Neither of them got it out of their dreams.

"Good God, she's moving!" Julia pulled sour air into her lungs and assessed her situation. She was covered in blood and muck and surrounded by mortals who has seen her dead. Remembering that death, she started shaking and couldn't stop and then she saw Frederick's body.

"She was dead. I know it." Said Annilise, bewildered.

"But how can it be?" A burly, red-faced man in faded clothing demanded.

"Does anyone know who she is?" Hans, the priest, looked a little afraid. The villagers looked at each other and shook their heads. Julia's small body continued to shake. "And does everyone agree that she was dead?"

"She was, Father Hans! And sliced to ribbons, to." Annilise called out. Now Julia was completely healed under the blood and everyone saw it.

"Demon spawn!" Cried the priest. "And most like a cursed Protestant as well!" The villagers drew back in horror from the Julia's huddled body. Then they gathered their courage and were upon her.

"Tinat? " Methos had driven us home and carried me into his apartment while I moved through the memory fog. Now I lay in his bed shaking. He is so beautiful, leaning over me, eyes dark with concern. Sometimes I forget how beautiful he is.

"Love you." I force the words through my throat. I do, no matter what.

"I love you too." He runs his long pale fingers through my hair and I make myself smile at him. Everything feels like it's coming through a mist and a distance. "Talk to me Tinat, let me help you."

"Robert Karof. He is alive." The feel of Robert. Hands on my skin on my still unhealed burns. Burning alive. Now Methos is holding me to still the shaking. Not too tight because he understands.

"Not for long, I'll find him." There is a promise in his voice. He knows what Robert was, he is a Watcher.

"No, he must not die." Or I would kill him myself, would have long ago.

"Why?" Oh love, you of all people should understand.

"He took something from me. I want it back." And he and I must both survive until I have it.

"What can I do?" I let myself sink into Methos and use the feel of his body to push away the grayness.

"I want you." I whisper into his ear.

"Now?" He looks at me doubtfully.

"I don't want to remember what he felt like. I want you." He nods, luminous eyes on me and very gently begins a kiss. We rise together through the flesh to completion. How close can one of our kind be to heaven?

Damn doorbell. For a second satisfaction and exhaustion mingle to keep away the feeling of Presence. Then it hits me. Methos realizes at the same moment.

"Let me get it." He says quietly. I'm too tired to argue and it's his apartment.

I nibble on my fingernails for a few seconds before Methos calls back to me "It's MacLeod!" Oh goody, more complications. I pull a T-shirt over my head and join the boys.

"What is happening, Tinat?" The dark knight looks ready to mount the white horse. Awfully sweet.

"Didn't Richie tell you?" Suddenly I feel tired again.

"Richie said that some guy came looking for you and that you completely lost it after you spoke to him." Well, that about covers it.

"Yeah, well." I mutter, not sure what to say. The three of us sit down on the couch and listen to the silence.

MacLeod's problem is mostly that he doesn't know how to react to me. On the one hand I'm a woman, and that alone should get me protection under his code. Yet I'm a competent enough swords-woman to make him wonder about the outcome of a real fight with me. Problem enough for our highlander.

And then I'm Methos' lover. He is also, and sharing a man with a woman is probably not a situation he has had to face before. At least MacLeod and I have never gone to bed, that would unforgivably complicate the situation. Or maybe it would resolve things, I'm not sure yet.

"Look Tinat, I consider you a friend," or something, I add mentally, "If there is something I can help with, you can let me know."

"Tell me Mac, do you remember Robert Karof?" Methos breaks into the ensuing silence. MacLeod turns dead white.

"I met him once. He . . . killed a friend. God, if he had only killed her . . ." MacLeod's eyes cloud in sudden memory and we have to wait for it to pass.

"He is the man who spoke to Tinat." Methos' protective arms wrap around me and I want badly to believe in them.

"You think he'll come after you?" MacLeod looks at me, horrified.

"He won't kill me." I'm sure of that much. It's a long damn story.

Robert Karof sniffed the burnt body with evident distaste. Then he steeled himself to pull the roasted meat onto his horse, and heard the animal whimpers and knew Julia was alive again. Wondered what it would feel like to be inside her, trapped and in agony. He smiled. He would make sure to ask her.

Julia opened her eyes and screamed. Her body was healed but her mind was still in the darkness of blood and pain.

"Well, Lady Von Villiana. I see you are awake." Robert smiled beatifically at her. She drew back for an instant, then pulled on old training. She wouldn't fall apart now, she would do it when she was safe.

"Herr Karof."

"Aren't you going to ask why I have you here? Or why I had you burned. Or sent those bandits after you and poor Frederick?" She flinched at the last words.

"Why? Frederick was just a mortal. He was not part of it." She stopped herself before she started to sound even more naive. "What I really want to know is why I'm still alive." He laughed.

"Oh, I don't want your head, sweet Julia! It looks far more lovely on your shoulders." She went cold.

"What do you want?" Don't think, don't feel, she remembered her teacher's voice. Just live and the good times will come again.

"You see, I've been developing some wonderful new toys and games. But my playmates keep dying on me. You, sweet Julia, will survive for many games." Again the laughter.

He was wrong. The part of me that was Julia died there. I lost so much of myself and I want it back.

"If you don't intend to kill Karof I will!" MacLeod is difficult to talk to when he is angry.

"You will do no such thing." I put ice into my voice.

"He tortured a pregnant woman to death just to get to me! Malinda was . . . a good friend." His eyes are filled with hate and disbelief.

"Look, Mac, you don't understand." Methos spoke and ran a reassuring hand through my hair.

"Damn right I don't. If Tinat wants to kill him, that's her privilege. But if she won't do it I refuse to let him just walk away." I felt anger stir in me.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, child. Robert cannot die!" I hate when people talk about me in my presence. Maybe I should stop doing it to them. Nah.

"Tell me why! What's more important that stopping that bastard once and for all?" MacLeod demanded.

"He has Mama's key." I whisper and bury my head in Methos' shoulder.

"Your mother?" MacLeod asks in surprise. Our kind are always foundlings.

"Foster mother, I suppose. She was Surya, the rebel. Because she didn't think the first Gods were evil. She named me Tinat, for Tiamat, the dragon queen." My mother's proud face, telling me to be strong and fearless. I watched when they executed her. Humanity is not kind to rebels.

"She was one of the strongest people I've ever known." Methos held me and smiled a little.

"Mama or Tiamat?" I asked.

"Both." The enigmatic quirk of the lips and the gleam in his dark eyes told me that I would never hear that story.

"Interesting, but it doesn't explain anything." MacLeod muttered.

"You really want to know?" So I told them.

"Mama?" I tugged the folds of my mother's gown with a ten-year-old fist. A tall, black haired woman, now dressed in pure black. She had never looked so beautiful, or so proud.

"My brave Tinat. You have a great destiny ahead of you. I should have liked to see it." I shook my head, refusing to believe it, that my Mama was to die.

"We can run away! Everyone says so. The king doesn't really want you dead." The young king had made his wishes clear. Everyone knew Mama could have been bound to him in sacred marriage if she had wanted it.

"If I run, little daughter, I abandon the gods in my extremity. I will stay and force them to kill me so that they remember the blood on their hands. Maybe it will change things." A part of me wanted to scream no! It will change nothing. The old gods will still be called evil and women along with them. It will all be for nothing. Live Mama, I need you!

"I will be brave Mama, I'll make you so proud." I hear my ten-year-old voice say.

"I know you will, my little warrior. I'll take you to Ishtar's temple - there is a Goddess you can follow with honor!" I bob my head and keep the tears from filling my eyes. "Now take this," Mama presses a little black key into my hand, "It's made of sky metal, forged to Tiamat's glory. As long as you have it I will be with you and the gates to the God's realms will be open to you."

"Yes, Mama. I'll keep it always." I promise. Not long after the executioner arrives with the poison. Mama drinks it in one gulp and I watch her slip into the long night.

"You think I don't want Karof dead, MacLeod? He had my husband killed. He had me burned alive. He broke my - " my mind, but I won't think of that, "He raped me while I was still- damn it, what do you want from me?!" I'm suddenly on my feet screaming out the words.

"I want Karof dead." MacLeod says in a firm, quiet voice.

"Not until we get back Mama's key!"

"What makes you so sure he has it?" MacLeod demanded.

"Because he dangled it in front of my face. Before he got tired of me and let me go. I want it back."

"We will get it back." Methos soothed. "Why don't we go talk to Joe and see if he can help us out?"

"Unnecessary. Karof came to see me, he will be back." I know him.

"All the same, I'd like to-"

"Fine, but don't you kill him." Methos nods and slips out the door.

"How do you think he found you anyway?" MacLeod mutters.

"Because of you." I reply.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He looks offended.

"I've been hanging around you and that is not a very inconspicuous place to be. Don't worry, it would inevitably have happened at some point and if it didn't, I would have arranged it." I want it back.

Then the feeling of another enters my mind. I have kept my mind closed and guarded for centuries, never even though of the gifts. And now he is ripping through the defenses. Breaking the silence I've kept for more than four centuries. Like another rape.

**Hello, my sweet Julia** The passages of the mind do not bleed. But I can feel the blood pouring through them.

**NO! STOP THAT!!!**

**It never bothered you before** I am not scared. I am not.

**Get out of my mind! OUT!**

**If that is what you want, beloved . . . you know I miss you** And the voice is gone. Alone. Bleeding to death . . . no blood. I feel the shaking start again.

"Tinat?" MacLeod's face radiates concern. "Are you-" When he moves to put a hand on my shoulder, I scream and run to the bathroom, vomiting helplessly.

A few minutes after I lock the door the buzz sings into my head. Who? Then I hear Methos. O.K. He and MacLeod are speaking in harsh whispers.

"-don't know what's wrong with her. She just lost it."

"What exactly did you do?" Methos cries out. I want to see him, I do. But my mind is too full of edges. I want to see his face. Open the door. But what if it's not him?

"Tinat." Knocking sound, "Could you open the door? It's me." He pleads. Wait, he is not pleading, just asking. Just . . . if I could see his face I could open it. Methos, Goddess, if I could touch your mind . . . Oh Mama, I'm not brave enough. I tried to be. Why did you leave me? Did you know I wasn't brave enough? There is water spilling down my cheeks.

"Tinat, please." Teacher, teach me how to keep the voices out? There is water spilling down my cheeks. How precious is water? I have never cried for myself. Never.

**Methos?** My mind is open. Torn open. A gasp of surprise from him. We had spoken mind to mind, but not in centuries. It was not an easy thing, even before Robert.

**Beloved? Open the door.** Gentle mental fingers. Softly, like making love to a rape victim. I unlock the door.

"Teacher? I am so afraid." In a human voice. Lover, teacher, best friend. Don't let me go. He is holding me so hard, I could suffocate, but I'm glad. No one will ever hurt me while he's here. No one will ever hurt him in my presence.

"You have to face this down. You and I both know what happens when you don't face your demons." He whispers against my hair.

"Yeah. Did you find him?" Maybe I should just kill him. But Mama said . . .

"I know were he is." I nod and kiss him frantically, losing myself in sensation.

"Umm, guys." MacLeod mutters from the doorway, his face a bright red. "I'll just head out for some beer or something." Methos throws me a questioning look. I shrug.

"Mac, stay." Methos says.

"Are you sure?" I know he is asking me.

"You are the lover of my beloved. If only for that, I would care for you. You are very like Mama." I say suddenly seeing the resemblance.

"She is right Mac, there's a lot of Surya in you." Methos smiles, a little surprised that he had missed it.

"Goddess, you keep your secrets well, Methos. I never even realized you knew Mama." He shrugs, as if it were of no matter.

"It was more by reputation than anything else - I was avoiding the king's court at the time - but we met a few times. I left Babylon a couple of years before she got that martyrdom she wanted."

**She loved you, Tinat. In a way, everything she did was for you.** I smile a little. Then frown.

"She didn't love me enough to live for me." I reply out loud. MacLeod looks startled.

"What?" He says. Methos and I exchange glances.

"Tinat and I can speak mind to mind, Mac. We don't do it often - there tend to be complications . . ."

"It's true then." He voice was wondering.

"What's true?" Curious in spite of myself.

"Daruis told me that when an immortal gets old enough they can use their powers to do things. Mind speaking, magic, anything." Again I have to smile.

"Something like that. As Methos said there are complications. These gifts are usually only used between those who desire intimacy."

"What about Cassandra?" MacLeod asks in sudden curiosity. Methos frowns. "What about her?" So MacLeod tells us about Cassandra and her student and her prophecy.

"She did what? Those people were as bad as Robert. That's breaking the silence!" I know there is real anger in my voice, but I can't seem to help that, I'm a little sensitive to it now.

"The silence?" MacLeod asks.

"A code of ethics. Basically, you shall intrude on no unwilling mind, you shall never interfere with a closed mind, and you never, never reveal any glimpses of the future that may become self-fulfilling prophecies." Methos shrugs, "The code of the silence gets broken about as much as any of the so called rules, except holy ground, of course."

"Methos is right. But don't get a swelled head love, the silence tends to be self-enforcing. When you interfere with other minds, they influence you. If you break other minds, eventually you go mad." Robert was mad long before I knew him.

"Yeah, like that stopped Robert." Methos voices my thoughts.

"Cassandra wasn't exactly sane, either." MacLeod acknowledges.

"How much of that is the silence and how much is my fault?" Methos says bitterly. We sit for an instant, lost in private memories.

"This is a pointless conversation. You have found Robert?" Methos nods. "Then I will speak to him in the morning." The men look like they want to argue but I silence them with a glance.

**Methos, how long has it been since we made love mind to mind?**

**We never did**

**Really? We can make up for it then** I smile at the clean touch of his mind on mine. Not free of darkness, but fighting it like we all must.

"Do you two want me to leave now?" MacLeod asks, shifting uncomfortably.

"No, stay." I whisper the invitation, knowing it is what Methos wants as well. One last prayer before I face the fire.

In the morning I slip out while my lovers sleep. I don't need Methos to find Robert for me, I know where he is. The motel is an old one in a part of town where things don't get noticed. Even things involving decapitation and blue lightening.

I parked my bike near a bar and smiled at a stranger long enough to make him want to watch it for me. Or not. It probably doesn't matter. I have an appointment to keep with the abyss.

The feeling of an immortal invades my senses as I creep into the building. The final memories come at me in a sudden rush and I am no longer afraid.

Julia sat in the window watching the last of the ducks straggle southward.

**Sweet Julia** A voice caressed her mind. It was quickly followed by the Presence. She smiled weakly and looked for Robert.

"I'm here Robert!" She called. The ducks were forgotten, her mind consisted of little but the vain hope he wouldn't want to play games today.

"Hello, my darling. You look lovely as ever." He tugged on a strand of limp hair, then grabbed a handful to jerk back her head for a kiss. She suppressed a whimper. "Are you happy to see me?" He smiled.

"Yes, Robert. I have missed you." She replied dully.

"You have gotten rather boring, dear." She shuddered slightly but he pretended not to notice. "But you'll be happy to know I've a new game for us to play. The rules are very simple. I do what I want with you and you must not scream. Then I'll give you something." He pulled a small black object out of his pocket.

"Please Robert." Julia held out her hand to touch her mother's key. The sky metal had never rusted through all of her life.

"Now don't be over eager, dear. You have to win my game." He pulled her up by the hair and dragged her to the toys in the cellar.

She didn't scream. Not when he impaled her body on the rusty spikes or threw the live coals at her body. Not when he stretched her legs on the rack and thrust into her when she was covered in blood and not when he thrust himself into her mouth and choked her to death on it.

"Wake up, Julia." She felt the bile rise in her mouth as he slapped her awake. The cold bit into her skin and she realized they were outside and she was naked.

"Robert?" She questioned.

"You did very well, Julia, better than I had expected. So I'm going to give you a choice." He dangled the little black key before her. "You can have this." She reached for it. He smiled. "Or you can go free."

"What?" Her voice quavered. "

You can have your mother's key or your freedom. Choose." In a sudden flash she saw Gwenhwyfar's green eyes in place of Robert's black. `Who are you? Whom do you serve? Choose.'

"Choose." Robert demanded. And the beautiful face of Viviane du Luc merged with her mother's.

"I choose to go free." Because I serve myself first. And it was those words that shattered the all that Julia had been into a million shards of glass. Then there was only Tinat staring at Robert.

He saw something in my eyes he had never seen before. Age, the weight of the long years. Ironic that I tried to protect myself from that burden by becoming Julia Von Villiana completely. It was what Robert saw in my eyes that made him turn and flee, not any promises made.

**Hello Robert** I put teeth into my mental voice.

"Julia." He appears in the doorway, smiling in a way that makes me want to throw him into the nearest wall.

"I believe you have something that belongs to me." I say evenly.

"Oh, of course. But you'll have to earn it." Again the smile. I smile back and step forward until he falters.

"Do you have it with you?" I demand, not really expecting that he would. Wrong, people do some amazingly stupid things.

"Of course, sweet Julia." He dangles the key in front of me, recovering his smile. The fool.

"You really are an idiot aren't you?" I say as I draw my sword.

"Now Julia, you don't want to make me hurt you? Do you?" He has his blade as well. I know as soon as he draws it that he isn't even in my league. All he sees is a woman, more than a foot shorter, and skinny. "I'll have to teach you a lesson for this, Julia."

"Little man." I whisper, "Julia is dead. Look at me now, my name mother was the Queen of Dragons. My true mother was Surya, the rebel. I was taught by Methos himself. My Goddess is Ishtar of love and war. I have had many names, but just now you can call me Erishegkal." I can suddenly smell the fear. No one has been really afraid of me since I walked the roads outside of Jehrico with a bronze blade and slaughtered everyone who came near me. I'm not sure I should like it.

I take his head in ten moves and smile when it hits the ground. Laugh when the Quickening takes me. It has been a long time and I've forgotten just how good it can be.

Outside the air feels heavy with the promise of spring. No one has stolen my bike and I can feel the wind dancing in my hair when I shift into high gear. Helmet laws are for mortals.

"Tinat!" Methos is waiting for me at the door of his building. He sweeps me up into his arms, almost before I have a chance to get off the bike.

"Hey! What happened to MacLeod?" I ask when I catch a breath.

"He went out to look for you. I told him you were all right. That you could take care of yourself, but he has to be a boyscout." I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, well otherwise he wouldn't be himself."

"That's the spirit. Did you . . . get Surya's key?" He asks, radiating concern.

"Methos, you are getting gullible in your old age. A piece of iron does not survive three and a half millennia of rusting, followed by a nice hot trip to the stake, intact." I lie cheerfully. He doesn't call me on it for all of ten seconds.

"Tinat, talk." He tilts back his head and gives me his look.

"You know, it's one thing to remember the past. It's something else to cling with a death grip. This bit of metal was forged in Tiamat's name, I say we return it to Her." I pull out the key.

"What do you mean return it to Her?" He looks a little apprehensive. I grin and tug him toward the waterfront.

"The Queen of Dragons and the Watery Abyss? This is the place." He shrugs and puts his hand in mine. I toss the iron into the water and watch it sink with a plopping noise. Bet it sunk faster than any stone.

Then I pull down Methos' mouth for a long kiss, letting the noon sun beat down on us. No fear in it, no loss, or pain, or pity, or desperation. Just a bit of wantonness and the true spirit of Ishtar. Long live the conqueror.

finis