I bought this hot Elvis calendar and hung it on my wall the same day my friend surprised me with a Marilyn Monroe calendar which joined Elvis on the wall.  That night I heard some flirting going on; I heard pages rustling and I heard love coos and "thank you very muches."

In the morning I checked my calendars only to find that the Marilyn calendar had been knocked up.  When I flipped to September I noticed that she already gave birth to a whole new day.  At the end was a box marked 31 in a column to the right of Saturday with the heading: Holiday, scribbled in Elvis' handwriting above the box.

My friend got herself a morning phone call from me.  "What do you have planned for September 31st?"  She knows better than most folks that only eight months have 31 days and September and November, April and June often do not.  "Absolutely nothing," she said.

"It's a whole new day, thanks to our frisky calendars, and apparently it falls on a holiday,"  I said.  Then I went into the kitchen and made some picnic sandwiches to put in the freezer...