RELINQUISHMENT

Dissecting my own hodgepodge of misery,

I realize I will always be afraid to lift the embargo

of self protection with which I've surrounded myself.

The wintering down of a soul takes submission

and the hibernation of feelings

has made me secure in this house of no warmth.

Emotionally I struggled to reach a plateau,

highs not so high, lows not so low,

but the relinquishment has eroded my control

and has corrupted my soul.

Never again will I reach heights beyond my vision.

Now that I've homesteaded on the summit of despair,

I will never be able to remove the covers that hide my frozen spirit.

I could not live with the chance of a recurrance.

No resurgence of warmth,

only the comfort found in a dismal existance.