April 7, 1997
PLAYTIME
on the days i spend alone
i fight raging wars inside my head
and on the days we go
and play,
well, those days im okay

dont give me your 2 cent diagnosis
that you scraped off the floor
at Burger King
Vanity became my escape
from you
i was no longer chained home

or alone
bound to the phone
of another..soul?
You read the lines and played the roll
Doctor You.

Now in twinkle i fly
most days, well..i try
we go out and play
we laugh sadness away
we run completley free
ive released me, from me
__________________
April 11th..wee am hours
Like Rain
I set my face in stone
because i am scared
Yes, i feel you there

i locked myself away
for fear of what i am
Afraid of what this could do

To us.
it tore our hands apart
and now, the cookies are burning
_______________
April 9th
Well its not all that easy

She came too late
i was afraid
we're children still
we learned that-that night
i cant go back
but maybe somehow
we can bake up courage
and you can lie by me, on the line
and we'll be the only ones alive
its just us-pretending
nothing else matters
please try to love me

Heres my blankette
that you can wrap yourself up in
ill you keep you safe and warm
i cant go back
maybe, we can slowly roll back into bed
we can close our eyes
and pretend
that no one eles matters
_____________
April 20, 1997
I give up
its not who im supposed to be
Then what i am to be?
A little thrill..the kiss the kick?
The spark
The excitment.
The calm after the storm
leaves me
so i grasp through song
and i find nothing.
So i grasp through film
and i leave crying
Empty
Me.
Chasing you.

April 16th 1997
Incomplete
I can always change
if thats what you need

so explain it to me
like 1, 2,3
she says 'i miss you'
i say 'i sometimes do too'
then, why do i always speak first?
she says ' i love you'
i say
'if you dont want to talk about it
then, this isnt love'
____________
i isolated my memory of you
for a hundred days
there was no you
then i saw you dance
and i had to repress the urge
to kiss your lips
to hold you close
and feel you pressed against my soul
like we used to